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abby


booo, waah

for the past few months i've been completely unemployed, living off of a comfortable inheritance. though assuredly glamourous, its horribly boring and my mind wanders to ridiculous topics. i haven't done anything really worthwhile with my time except go back to school, and join a gym.

so, a couple weeks ago i interviewed for a hostessing position at a pricey mount vernon restaurant. it went well, i thought, we shared some laughs and he seemed impressed with my knowledge/willingness to work. today, i read their newer craigslist ad:

"We're a restaurant that's been very well reviewed by numerous publications, however we're not stuffy, and don't expect you to be either. We offer a very profitable enviornment, it's easy, and you'll have fun. August is coming up and we'll be opening for lunch. We're going to need approimately 2-4 daytime dedicated servers. In addition a hostess is the first line of defense for a restaurant. We're looking for a very well presented, confident, attractive hostess who is willing to work 2-4 evenings per week.. Cheers !!"

i am so depressed, so mournful, i may give up my dealings with the service industry all together. i can't believe that i'm too gross looking to be a hostess, a fucking hostess, the imbecile warblers of the industry.

i have no skills and not enough charm. will i ever work again?

[ posted by abby at 08/03/2006 01:02:32 PM ]
[ trackback ]



Threaded Responses [ bottom ]
kara [email] said at 1:10 PM 08-03-2006:
please don't refer to yourself as "gross looking," or I might have to kick you in the face to make it true.

It's so weird that now that you're looking better than ever, and more "put together," you suddenly seem to have less confidence than you did before.
    abby [email] said at 1:11 PM 08-03-2006:
    the fact that this simian greaseball didn't think i was good enough for the position destroys me inside.
      kara [email] said at 1:16 PM 08-03-2006:
      were you dressed up? Did you notice the other employees having a specific "look?"
      Additionally, doesn't that ad violate some employment laws or something - the "attractive" part?
      Sounds like that place is fucked up!
        abby [email] said at 1:20 PM 08-03-2006:
        i wore a clean dress and black wedges (before they got fucked up). i didn't see any other employees, the interview took place way before htey open.

        lots of places hire on basis of attractiveness. urban outfitters, abercombie and fitch, deisel, betsey johnson, i mean pretty much any retail place. any restaurant wanting to appear fashionable is going to do the same thing. i don't think its illegal?
          jake [email] said at 8:02 PM 08-10-2006:
          Attractiveness is not a protected category, and if it is deemed part of the essential duties, it can be used for hiring purposes, just like you can exclude an 8' tall person from a job that requires working in a very very small room.

          On the other hand, you can't discriminate against an employee based on attractiveness.

          But that place is surely fucked up no matter what the law, and the manager is a greaseball who will die from snorting rat poison before the year is up.
      kara [email] said at 1:19 PM 08-03-2006:
      PS there's about a bajillion people in this world who don't think I'm attractive enough for their job, to sleep with them, be their friend, etc... of them all, I am least concerned with simean greaseballs who run sketchy restaurant operations, and you should be too.

      Sounds like that job would have been sucky from either angle.. either making you feel bad or subjecting you to harassment. Gross.
        abby [email] said at 1:35 PM 08-03-2006:
        well, you're not dependant on simian greaseball restaurant managers for employment, like i am
        myriam [email] said at 1:37 PM 08-03-2006:
        Yeah, I was thinking the same thing. This place sounds creepy and fucked up. Don't feel bad if creepy, screwy people don't think you're one of them!

        You should get a job at a beauty shop or something. Like selling skincare products. Girls would take one look at you and drop $$$ on every bottle you pointed to.
          abby [email] said at 1:40 PM 08-03-2006:
          i mean, that is what all restaurants are like. they're all weird carnal places of sin. apparently.

          and hey thats really sweet of you :) and maybe not such a bad idea
josh [email] said at 1:30 PM 08-03-2006:
oh, baby, c'mon you look good. the resteraunt is pretty upscale, to the point that you and i didn't feel comfortable even eating there that one night, remember? maybe they just picked up on your inner class warfare urges.
    abby [email] said at 1:34 PM 08-03-2006:
    but.. i hate the poor!
      josh [email] said at 1:37 PM 08-03-2006:
      or perhaps they called c.c. and gino said he hated your hetero ways
        abby [email] said at 1:39 PM 08-03-2006:
        thats possible, i guess. i listed ryan as my reference, though. can they ask for whoever?
          josh [email] said at 1:44 PM 08-03-2006:
          yeah, of course they can... i mean, if they called asking for ryan, wouldn't the counter person be like "oh he's not here i'll transfer you to another manager" or whatever?
            abby [email] said at 1:44 PM 08-03-2006:
            no? i thought referencing was very strict?
              josh [email] said at 1:46 PM 08-03-2006:
              its strict what you can say when you are called - i dont know if its strict about who/what the caller can ask for.

              every place i've worked has stated that when someone asks you about an employee, you should be by the books... but no one has ever said that you have to do anything special when calling.

              though also i'm not management
                abby [email] said at 1:48 PM 08-03-2006:
                ugh, i give up
                  josh [email] said at 2:19 PM 08-03-2006:
                  naw, just keep trying. you will find a new one! and then it wont matter next time, because they only call the most recent one anyway.

                  if you want you can lie and say you have been working as summer receptionist for alticon, inc.
                kara [email] said at 2:32 PM 08-03-2006:
                I don't know - I think technically they are only really supposed to speak with the names that you provide.
                References are actually a very potentially sticky legal situation as I learned from my last job...
kate [email] said at 1:56 PM 08-03-2006:
are you kidding me, you have tons of charm, obviously...and you are obviously sassy
brianbibbly [email] said at 2:09 PM 08-03-2006:
You're a loser. Kill yourself.

Sorry, I just had to balance out all the sappy bullshit pandering up above.
    brianbibbly [email] said at 2:15 PM 08-03-2006:
    Sometimes you're just not cut out for a particular job. Whatever. No biggie. Personal example: I recently applied for an in-house general counsel position with a Fortune 500 company. I thought I would be perfect for the job, had the qualifications, experience, all that. I interviewed and thought it went very very well. No response. I later see that they re-advertised the position. Fuck it. So they didn't want me. Doesn't make a lick of difference. I just plowed forward and found another, just as attractive job back in private defense practice. Problem solved.
      abby [email] said at 3:10 PM 08-03-2006:
      rejection matters less as the salary/prestige rises, i think
        brianbibbly [email] said at 10:21 AM 08-04-2006:
        Perhaps. I think it is more a security of knowing that I will eventually land on my feet no matter what. But rejection still sucks, no matter what the starting salary is. Buck up. Or, if you cannot, then jump off the highest bridge you can find to ensure you don't survive the fall.
evan [email] said at 3:00 PM 08-03-2006:
i'd hit it.
josh [email] said at 3:03 PM 08-03-2006:
also, in terms of not doing anything worthwhile with your time, going back to school is pretty worthwhile! and the gym and in general lessened "black-out"-level partying are also worthwhile pursuits.

don't beat yourself up.
boson [email] said at 8:25 PM 08-03-2006:
abby come on, of all people!!!

the dude probably wanted a demure ameriasian girl to represent the INDIAN FUSION OF TASTES that douchebag resturant is advertising.
    abby [email] said at 2:12 AM 08-04-2006:
    well.. it still hurt my feelings. it sucks that he thought all the applicants were so hoagly, that he had to state his expectations that way. its just mean, and makes me feel crappy!
      jake [email] said at 8:06 PM 08-10-2006:
      No, see, probably all the other applicants had vicious harelips and oozing pores, and he was like "Man, I woulda hired that one pretty chick but she ain't colored right. I better repost so I get more pretty trim, then I can take my pick."

      He's a douchebag and he will die from mainlining comet cleaning powder into the vein in his ankle.
kaycee [email] said at 11:17 PM 08-03-2006:
dude, i totally just got a job in a place that is WAY too nice for me.

it had nothing to do with my looks, or anything else, because i am, in the end, a tattooed gal with dreads and no waitress experience beyond louies diner and some soul food.

they were desperate, and i was willing.

often, people are just in weird moods. the other guy that got hired with me got fired...

BECAUSE THEY GOT A "BAD VIBE" FROM HIM.

freaky people will be freaky people. it has nothing to do with you. i speant a month worrying about that before i figured it out.

dont worry about it... you are lovely.
evan [email] said at 11:33 PM 08-03-2006:
also, you know josh is a totally sexist pig who only dates hot tail. i mean, sure he's slummed with a couple busters, but you're not one of those!
    josh [email] said at 10:11 AM 08-04-2006:
    evan knows me too well
    brianbibbly [email] said at 10:18 AM 08-04-2006:
    evan's on a roll. Evan and Anthony are on my Killoggs Week of Hilarity list with Brandon always in an honorary 3rd place. Time to step it up Brandon. You're going a little "Kid A" on me. Time to get back to the classics.

    Ah yes, the buster. I assume you refer to the "Slump Buster?" They are wonderful to jumpstart a sex life, no matter how horrendous they may be.
reggie [email] said at 12:58 AM 08-04-2006:
gimme some time and maybe I can hire you at the record store...assuming, of course, that the job is in fact mine.
brad [email] said at 1:51 AM 08-04-2006:
Abby, you've gotta seal the deal! I think the critical qualification you lack has nothing to do with your looks, but rather your unwillingness to give head when it's expected. That's what Josh tells me, anyway.
carla [email] said at 11:58 PM 08-04-2006:
Oh Abby.
You have charm oozing out of your butt. You probably need to carry around a kleenex all the time to clean that shit up. The charm.

Also, you are very cute, always have been. Every phase of Abby has been cute, since high school until now. And this is NOT just the rum talking. This is the Carla behind the rum.

So what I'm saying is...jobs are competitive, everywhere...it sucks and sometimes people want a different..eh, shall we say, angle. But that doesn't mean Abby isn't good enough, smart enough, etc...You need to get all Stuart Smalleyfied or something, cause you gotz to see what other people (weird fancy restaurant managers excluded) people see.
abby [email] said at 11:28 AM 08-07-2006:
i just realized, it was very kind of killoggs not to make fun of me for living off of a trust fund.


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