marrying her to her fiance, that is. i printed out the ol' internet reverend form (universal life church--the same people who married my parents on a beach. wait, is that our religion then?) and they want me to officiate.
well of course! it's terrifying, weird, and time consuming, not to mention awkward. but they asked me! and she's my family. i grew up with her. she's worked so hard to make it out of the life most of my family hasn't been able to. i don't need to go back into it, but pretty much everyone but me drives a bus, a sewer truck, strips, or does nothin' but smoke crack and drink all day. i'm the one who's supposed to president of the united states or something because i live in a city, married a great guy, and didn't have 2 kids before i was 17. oh, my 20 year old cousin just got pregnant, too. she is going to have it harder now, but she knows.
anyway. i need to call my cousin because basically the family drafted me. and i love these girls. they just live in west va, on black memorial road, etc. and i really don't feel like reliving the wedding drama crap already!!
the entire point of this post was: the only wedding idea i have heard from her so far involved port-a-potties. i need to help her see a cheap, pretty, simple and beautiful gathering of family. but NOWHERE will there be port-a-potties. we're millers, dammit! and we party, but we have our dignity.
jess [email] said at 7:03 PM 06-02-2005: This is pretty awesome! I printed out the internet reverend form my freshman year of college just so that I could marry these two awesome girls I knew (of course, their marriage wasn't officially recognized, because we were in Wisconsin. Sucks).
shauna [email] said at 2:07 AM 06-03-2005: you know what's so funny? the actual paperwork of marrying a hetero couple is like some photocopy of clip art made in 1996. at least in md. then you just sign it after the ceremony, and send a copy in to court, and it's done! they didn't even ask if we were married to other people. it actually fucking disgusted me, but that's not a feeling you want to harbor long getting your marriage licence.
what's weird is my family tried so hard to give us all a good start. we all went to catholic school until h.s. everyone helped everyone else pay. but we all went separate ways. my one cousin went to design school. he designs really, reeeealllly esoteric board games. i got a b.a. in english lit from umd. you'd think i was a rocket scientist to them.
The Left Revr'd Oona said at 12:37 PM 06-03-2005: Congrats Sister Shauna, I too am a ULC Minister. Actually I have taken their divinity course, which oh, doesn't take anywheres as long as most doctorate programs...They send you a pamplet. So I also have a ULC PhD in Metaphysics.
josh [email] said at 9:04 AM 06-03-2005: so you have to fill out extra paperwork (that clip art thing) right? you cant JUST have the universal life church thing.... right?
shauna [email] said at 5:51 PM 06-03-2005: yes, for it to be legal you need a marriage licence. you sign it, they sign it, the officiant signs it (she just wrote (non denom in pen bc there was no box) and mails a copy to court! i could have had bill in front of the damn black cat marry us.
art said at 9:59 AM 06-03-2005: We had porta-potties at our wedding (delivered by the "blow brothers") because we wanted an outdoor reception on our land. We got the 'Executive' model which is actually like a double-wide version which our helpers adorned with flowers, candles and shelves and towels. We put them back in amongst the trees so they didn't stand out. They cost about 25% more than the regular shitter. We put up signs sending the guys into the woods, otherwise we would have had to double the amount of potties. If you have a sense of humor about it, it all works out quite well.
shauna [email] said at 5:55 PM 06-03-2005: we are all very laid back nonjudgemental people, so i'm sure no one would bat an eye. but she keeps saying things like, "i can't afford flowers. i guess we'll just have fake ones." and i'm trying to get it through to her that one, real, beautiful flower is fine!
she's just so pretty and sweet and has been through so much i want her special day to involve indoor plumbing, unlike most miller fam functions.
also, my uncle's sewage biz (the "shit truck" as we affectionately call it) would be providing said potties. and they pretty much suit the county fair circuit.
cecil [email] said at 3:34 PM 06-03-2005: This is definitely one of my favorite killoggs titles.
i'm the one who's supposed to president of the united states or something
I feel that way sometimes too just because I moved away, graduated from college and didn't get married. It's weird when you seem to outgrow your family by just being normal basically. I have a cousin 2 years younger than me, lives with his mom, has worked at Tower Records for like 15 years and he says to me "you're different. I'm gonna keep my eye on you." Depressing. But I'm happy because he finally has a new girlfriend after having his heart broken in high school.
shauna [email] said at 6:03 PM 06-03-2005: it's odd. like, i was always the weird one, just bc my personality is real inward and the rest of the girls are so outgoing. but sometimes it is really sobering that i've been given so much freedom by my parents scrimping to send me to college. i was given the chance to work hard and do anything i wanted. i love my job. i go where i want. even left the country. and the guy she's marrying literally can't read. nothing like that matters at all when the family gets together. he's the sweetest guy in the world (if you overlook that ill-considered graffix tat). so i'll just read to him. hell.
sometimes i feel embarassed around them because i worry that they don't see "me," anymore. or worse, think i look down on them, which would never even occur to me. so she lives in redneck west va? she bought a house on her own credit and is raising her kids and did it all on her own. that's more than a lot of our family ended up managing to do. uh, including me, actually!
but everything goes back to when we were wearing matching handmade easter dresses with 15 minutes.
