So yesterday Jess and I went to see Eli Wallach talk at Politics & Prose. Before we went in, I told Jess if there were less than 10 people there, I wanted to leave, and also that we would be the youngest people there.

I didn't have to worry about the first part, but the second part was dead on - it was a room filled to the brim with amazing, eccentric older people with a myriad display of health problems:

There was the shaven headed, man who kept changing seats but couldn't sit down properly, so he would just let his 200+ pounds of bulk fall into chairs. When Wallach talked about Elia Kazan's testimony to the House Unamerican Activities Committee, this fellow kept muttering "he's a rat, he's a rat" under his breath.

There was the woman in the pink jump suit and the southern belle voice who said "Good HEAVENS, it's sooooo good to see you and yarrr wife still togEETHHAH."

There was the lurching balding seven foot man in the Steely Dan shirt -who looked like the serial killer in the film Manhunter- who gushed for minutes about how he felt blessed to even be in the same room as Wallach. The threat of coiled anger oozed from this man, he will most likely snap and kill everyone in either his family or work - or both, within the next five years.

Wallach was great, he told lots of stories, most of them scandalous, the best of which was the one he started the talk with:

"When I was a young boy I used to ask my older brother about how women get babies. Sam said 'okay, well the man puts his penis in the girl's hole and makes a deposit'" - Wallach looked around and said he hoped he wasn't being TOO dirty at this point - "and I asked him, 'I thought the penis was just for peeing?'. And he told me "Well, you have these two balls under your penis, and they make sperm. When you put your penis in a girl, the balls send a signal to your brain, then the brain switches from pee penis to sperm penis.' I looked at him and said 'That's crazy! Why did God make it so confusing? Why don't we have a penis for peeing, and a penis for sperm? Then you wouldn't have to switch!'"

Mind you, this story was being told to us by Tuco from the Good, the Bad, & the Ugly, so it was a little surreal.

Afterwards, we went and ate empenadas with Ben, then went over to the Claw (Erica & Matt's domicile) to catch the post-OC hanging. Good times.