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ericanm

molk is in the house

this is my landlord, also known as MOLK.
right now he is in my house, dressed EXACTLY the same as the above picture.

when sean, sarah, matt, erik and i went to sign the lease, it was midnight on a sunday and we all were drunk. we arrived at his apartment to find him covered in bed sores, shirtless with his pants open. additionally, there was a BARELY 18 magazine on his bed next to a jar of vaseline.
as seen here:

molk is upstairs, and the mere sight of him makes me vomit into my mouth. i really need to go upstairs and change and get my bag and run errands. the absolute last thing i want to do is come face to face with him, as i have been feeling sick already all day, and i dry heaved when i saw him come in the front door.
i need a molk deflector.

[ 39 responses ] < Advice > < link >

[ posted by ericanm at 09/13/2004 02:24:45 PM ]
[ trackback ]

Threaded Responses [ bottom ]

brianbibbly [email] said at 2:30 PM 09-13-2004:
MOLK for President! Haha!

[Reply To this] [#129183]

ericanm [email] said at 2:31 PM 09-13-2004:
apparently he is here to fix the roof.
as you can see he is roughly 9000000 years old. i hope i don't have to use a shovel to scrape him off the sidewalk when he dies of old age and falls off the roof.

[Reply To this] [#129184]

ericanm [email] said at 2:48 PM 09-13-2004:
he has a shirt on now, thank god

[Reply To this] [#129194]

rick [email] said at 2:50 PM 09-13-2004:
We should invite him on to killoggs.com.

[Reply To this] [#129195]

art said at 2:52 PM 09-13-2004:
i'd be checking that apartment for hidden cameras

[Reply To this] [#129197] [ip: logged]

rick [email] said at 2:53 PM 09-13-2004:
Or peepholes

[Reply To this] [#129198]

ericanm [email] said at 2:56 PM 09-13-2004:
we don't even have grounded outlets in this house. there is no way there are cameras.

[Reply To this] [#129202]

art said at 2:57 PM 09-13-2004:
just keep telling yourself that

[Reply To this] [#129203] [ip: logged]

rick [email] said at 2:58 PM 09-13-2004:
"Sliver"

[Reply To this] [#129204]

art said at 3:01 PM 09-13-2004:
'Repairing the Roof' is perv-code for installing vid equipment in the attic

[Reply To this] [#129207] [ip: logged]

brianbibbly [email] said at 3:04 PM 09-13-2004:
Exactly. Have you not seen Revenge of the Nerds!?

[Reply To this] [#129209]

rick [email] said at 3:05 PM 09-13-2004:
Excellent point.

[Reply To this] [#129210]

ericanm [email] said at 3:09 PM 09-13-2004:
do you guys want me to give you molk's number so you can get in on the live webcast of me not getting laid and sean mcguinness raving about random stupid things while drunk? because i can make that happen for you.

[Reply To this] [#129213]

rick [email] said at 3:10 PM 09-13-2004:
No need. He just told me on IM that the camera he installed in your shower is most satisfying.

[Reply To this] [#129217]

art said at 3:09 PM 09-13-2004:
but wait gentlemen, ericas got a picture of a topless Molk and of his girly mag and apparently stained blue pillow-thingy - Who's got the hidden camera here? Hmmmm....

[Reply To this] [#129215] [ip: logged]

ericanm [email] said at 3:10 PM 09-13-2004:
hooray for being drunk, bold and having a camera phone.

[Reply To this] [#129216]

art said at 3:11 PM 09-13-2004:
In that case I have a favor to ask - Please, PLEASE post a cell cam pic and get that fucking broken doll face pic off the goddam front page.

please

[Reply To this] [#129218] [ip: logged]

ericanm [email] said at 3:15 PM 09-13-2004:
i will try and learn how to do it.

[Reply To this] [#129220]

ericanm [email] said at 2:59 PM 09-13-2004:
guys i can't hold my pee in anymore

[Reply To this] [#129206]

lusterkaboom said at 3:22 PM 09-13-2004:
i know someone who can...

[Reply To this] [#129224] [ip: logged]

ericanm [email] said at 3:23 PM 09-13-2004:
i ran upstairs to pee and i think he tried to talk to me but then i ran away.

[Reply To this] [#129225]

arnie [email] said at 4:02 PM 09-13-2004:
Signing a lease drunk doesn't sound like a great idea to me.

[Reply To this] [#129239]

ericanm [email] said at 4:15 PM 09-13-2004:
we had received it a week prior to signing it. we just all had to go sign it in front of him.

signing the lease drunk was absolutely appropriate for my house, though.

[Reply To this] [#129241]

RighteousRedneckBlue said at 4:39 PM 09-13-2004:
molk is a coooooool dude.

[Reply To this] [#129242] [ip: logged]

milky [email] said at 4:45 PM 09-13-2004:
coming through the front door or ON the front door?

[Reply To this] [#129245]

ericanm [email] said at 4:51 PM 09-13-2004:
he came all over my doorknob

[Reply To this] [#129250]

milky [email] said at 5:04 PM 09-13-2004:
his calling card? or did he just paste the card to the jizzum?

[Reply To this] [#129254]

RighteousRedneckBlue said at 7:46 PM 09-13-2004:
We just left there, had a meeting with Molk-- he agreed to let us help him install a webcam. I am not kidding. Stay tuned...

Also, did you know that beside the porn mags, he has a bukowski book collection? Its quite complete...

[Reply To this] [#129292] [ip: logged]

kiche [email] said at 8:10 PM 09-13-2004:
you should put up a website.

[Reply To this] [#129300]

jeremy [email] said at 9:13 PM 09-13-2004:
am I the only one who noticed the stain on the pillow in front of the barely 18 magazine?

[Reply To this] [#129325]

ericanm [email] said at 6:19 PM 09-14-2004:
oh no, we are well aware of the stain.

[Reply To this] [#129600]

ericanm [email] said at 6:20 PM 09-14-2004:
i just saw him riding his bike down mt pleasant street. NO SHIRT!

[Reply To this] [#129601]

rick [email] said at 6:23 PM 09-14-2004:
Clothes make the man.

[Reply To this] [#129602]

kevin [email] said at 6:26 PM 09-14-2004:
molk rides FREE!

[Reply To this] [#129603]

RRBlue said at 8:27 PM 09-14-2004:
ride ride ride let it ride molk! ride on baby!

[Reply To this] [#129612] [ip: logged]

rick [email] said at 8:28 PM 09-14-2004:
Born To Be Wild

[Reply To this] [#129613]

glory said at 9:59 PM 09-14-2004:
heh i just read this story http://www.newyorker.com/fiction/content/?040809fi_fiction (replace adams with MOLK :) but, really, shirt and no pants is filthy!

[Reply To this] [#129626] [ip: logged]

ericanm [email] said at 3:23 PM 09-15-2004:
sean and i can smell wood burning.
he is sawing something. why? no one knows. is he wearing a shirt? of course not!

[Reply To this] [#129747]

art said at 3:25 PM 09-15-2004:
I tell ya' he's using a hole saw to put another camera in.

Go ahead, don't listen to me

[Reply To this] [#129749] [ip: logged]