I hate the steam train
that whistles woozy my bird brain,
That sends my spaniel insane.

And I’ll stop riding side saddle
if they don’t stop the clickity clattle,
I’ll jump in the undertow penguin paddle
and drown in my wedding gown.

I’ve been told the Bronx River stream
on moonlit nights is meant To seem
like the Rhone
in a glacier icy dream
but then in a poof
it's sulfur steam.

I hate the aeroplane
that nearly misses my birdie brain,
That terrifies my terrier insane.

And I’ll stop riding side saddle
if they don’t stop the clickity clattle,
I’ll jump in the undertow penguin paddle
and drown in my dressing gown.

I was drinking by the Des Plaines River
when the naught of the night Served for making me shiver
and me & the squirrels would hold hands And quiver
'cause that damnable diesel
never fails to deliver.

I hate the livery cars
that has my bird brain seeing stars,
That drives my Doberman to drink in bars.

And I’ll stop riding side saddle
if they don’t stop the clickity clattle,
I’ll jump in the undertow penguin paddle
and drown in my wedding gown.

I hate the steam train
that whistles woozy my bird brain,
That sends my spaniel insane.

And I’ll stop riding side saddle
if they don’t stop the clickity clattle,
I’ll jump in the undertow penguin paddle
and drown in my dressing gown.