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cecil

Dear, Waste of Time

I will not cut off my branch just because you want to play baseball! Birds live there! I need my leaves to SURVIVE! They are not just decorations for you to muse over! You want to carve the initials of you and your lover into my bark? FUCK YOU. My fruit is for propagating my seeds, not for your SALAD! You need shade? Get a hat and some sunscreen! You want to swing? Go to a chat room like the rest of the freaks! You need wood for your house? Get a job and pay rent for a lonely studio apartment, you freakin mooch. And when you are old and tired and you need a place to sit, you expect me to let you cut me down for a stoop? Sit your ass in the grass; I don't care if you can't get up. And pick up that kleenex when you leave. Get a fucking root.

[ 26 responses ] < Romance > < link >

[ posted by cecil at 07/02/2004 04:38:04 PM ]
[ trackback ]

Threaded Responses [ bottom ]

cecil [email] said at 4:46 PM 07-02-2004:
subtite: I AM NOT YOUR GIVING TREE

[Reply To this] [#116303]

julie [email] said at 4:52 PM 07-02-2004:
Uh-oh. I thought this was a cute anti-deforestation sentiment until I saw that you posted it in the Romance category.

Cecil, sometimes you just gotta look out for #1. I'm behind ya, darlin. You go ahead and give the big green middle finger to anyone you need to.

[Reply To this] [#116304]

cecil [email] said at 5:14 PM 07-02-2004:
I'm all for the deforestation angle.

But I'm tired of being harvested too!

[Reply To this] [#116306]

julie [email] said at 5:22 PM 07-02-2004:
I'm sorry you're sad/mad/a deadbeat dad. I would say something soothing and comforting and sweet and slightly flirty, but then Ben would just point and laugh and sing the K-I-S-S-I-N-G song, so what's the fucking point?

Here, I'll write it in code so no one can read it: Ecilcay, Ihay ovelay ouyay.

[Reply To this] [#116308]

amy [email] said at 7:21 PM 07-02-2004:
who is harvesting you? should i kick his ass?

[Reply To this] [#116340]

cecil [email] said at 7:40 PM 07-02-2004:
har har

I'm sure your pony can do another trick.

[Reply To this] [#116347]

amy [email] said at 7:55 PM 07-02-2004:
i'm just sad bc you deny me. i'll let this pony die. i'm sure it gets nowhere near your bag of oats.

[Reply To this] [#116349]

cecil [email] said at 8:03 PM 07-02-2004:
huh? De-Nile is a river a million miles away from you. I thought I was just fending off your "cecil be gay" jabs. [censored pony innuendo here]

[Reply To this] [#116351]

nathan [email] said at 4:57 PM 07-02-2004:
Gee, what a mean tree. "Trees cause more pollution than automobiles." -Ronald Reagan

[Reply To this] [#116305]

cecil [email] said at 5:15 PM 07-02-2004:
What makes you think trees are nice in the first place? Did you ever ask? Did you ever THINK to ask???

[Reply To this] [#116307]

meredith [email] said at 6:35 PM 07-02-2004:
From talking to my own plants, Heather is a surviver. Bamboos are nice. Cacti, however can be prickley. (hee! hee! hee!)

[Reply To this] [#116328]

cecil [email] said at 7:16 PM 07-02-2004:
Orchids are sluts. Ivy is clingy.

[Reply To this] [#116337]

meredith [email] said at 7:22 PM 07-02-2004:
Succulents pretty, but they can be needy.

[Reply To this] [#116341]

julie [email] said at 7:30 PM 07-02-2004:
Aloe is soothing, Spider plants are only good for having babies, Willows are weepy.

[Reply To this] [#116344]

ed [email] said at 5:52 PM 07-02-2004:
I stand (okay, sit) amazed.

I wanna be Cecil when I grow up.

[Reply To this] [#116315]

amy [email] said at 7:56 PM 07-02-2004:
we wanna be on cecil when he grows up.....

[Reply To this] [#116350]

julie [email] said at 12:49 AM 07-03-2004:
haha! too true....

[Reply To this] [#116363]

milky [email] said at 6:19 PM 07-02-2004:
They take and they take and they take...

I do, too, though.

[Reply To this] [#116322]

cecil [email] said at 8:33 PM 07-02-2004:
Okay, doesn't anyone want to criticize me for unnecessary comma usage in the title? wtf?

[Reply To this] [#116352]

julie [email] said at 12:55 AM 07-03-2004:
What do you take us for, a bunch of heartless meanies who kick a man when he's down!?!?

...Yeah, you have a point. Consider yourself kicked.

[Reply To this] [#116365]

Randy [ url ]
said at 2:52 AM 07-03-2004:
I thought it was as intentional, as if to say "Dear, what a waste of time!"

[Reply To this] [#116369] [ip: logged]

courtney [email] said at 2:29 PM 07-03-2004:
nah, I thought of it as a list. Dear AND Waste of Time.

[Reply To this] [#116395]

cecilseaside said at 6:57 PM 07-04-2004:
No, I just totally fucked up. I mean, who write's a "Dear so-n-so" letter anymore; it seemed right for a moment. I usually write "hey".

[Reply To this] [#116444] [ip: logged]

ed [email] said at 11:48 PM 07-04-2004:
Try "Yo, bitch" in the future.

Definitely not my style, but all the peepz who have the bling seem to do well with it.

[Reply To this] [#116455]

courtney [email] said at 3:25 AM 07-05-2004:
Seems like there are multiple interpretations. That works out well, donnit? Especially for a mistake.

[Reply To this] [#116458]

Shell said at 9:54 PM 07-02-2004:
Detachment is a fine thing :).

[Reply To this] [#116359] [ip: logged]