So I just get back from Mississippi with Rob
I'm tired
And getting food for me and Trout
And I’m riding down Columbia Road
in Adams Morgan
and decide to stop by Comet Liquor Store
to check my email.
Since they have the cheapest internet café service
in all of DC
As I dismount my bike
and am walking it to a parking meter I hear,
“Excuse me,”
It’s a guy’s voice with an accent,
and already I know I don’t want to talk to him.
I ignore him.
“Excuse me,” he says again, not taking the hint.
I look up.
The guy is in his 20’s, Hispanic, built.
“What?” I ask him, not smiling.
“You’re so pretty. I like you. I like you a lot. I want to get to know you.”
“I don’t think so, dude,” I say.
The guy doesn’t leave
and he’s starting to get really close to me,
not backing off,
which is making me nervous.
I’m worried he’s going to rob me.
“But I really like you” he says, and his voice is becoming menacing
I keep glancing at his hands
to make sure he’s not holding a gun or a knife.
I clutch my bike
Thinking that’s what he may want
His hands are suddenly all over my ass
and I get the feeling that he’s not a pervert
but actually looking for a wallet
I shove him away
“Get the FUCK away from me,” I say loudly
but he’s completely unshaken.
“C’mon, I want you, I want to get to know you,”
And tries grabbing at my ass again
I’m in an awkward position
because I don’t want to let go of my bike,
So I start raising my voice really loudly
as I see pedestrians walking by
and then shove him
when he goes after my ass the 3rd time.
I go to another parking meter a few feet down
the guy disappears.
Then a black guy appears out of nowhere
And is walking towards me
And I’m like,
“Wait, was the other guy just a decoy?
Is this the guy who’s gonna rob me?”
He gets closer and closer
and is giving me this funny look
and I’m convinced this is going to be the real robbery.
He reaches his hand over

And

Puts money into the parking meter.
And walks away.
My face burns with guilt.

After I lock my bike up
I start walking towards Comet
And I see the Hispanic guy come out of the Spanish grocery store
And start making a bee line for me.
“I just want to apologize to you,” he says,
“Just get the fuck away from me,” I say with my cell phone in my hand.

“Listen to me, listen to me,” he says louder, “I want to make it all right with you,”
and he’s like an inch away from my face,
I think that once I get into Comet the guy will back off but he follows me in.
“Why won’t you listen to me?” he demands, “I told you I’m sorry. I want to get to know you,”
There are about 5 people in the store
And the black guy I saw putting his quarters into the meter works there.
I feel doubly ashamed.
The old woman who works immediately starts talking loudly to the guy,
“You need to leave NOW, sir. You can’t come in here and talk to anyone like that,”
“I’m not talking to you, old bag,” the guys sneers at her,
and continues talking to me.
There are a few people in between us now
and the black guy is telling him to leave,
as well as this giant 6’4 guy
who was sitting at the computer
and jumped up the moment he saw the guy follow me in
Everyone is talking
and telling him to get the fuck out
(including me)
and it was so strange
because the Hispanic guy keeps talking to me,
imploring me to listen,
as though there was nothing at all going on around us.

The Hispanic guy looks at the black guy and says, “You fucking nigger, you don’t have the right to ever talk to me,”
And I keep thinking that this guy is going to get a very serous beat down by about 3 people if he doesn’t leave.
Shockingly
(I expected a serious altercation and the cops)
the guy left.
I talked with everyone for about 20 minutes
And I really really really like that store a lot.
It feels like a real neighborhood place
That actually protests itself and its neighbors
And I haven’t felt that in a long time in DC.

I still am not sure if that guy was looking to rob me
Or was some crazy fucked up pervert.


I sometimes think DC is more dangerous during the day
Than it is at night…