But I pledge to you Killoggs a post. A post that will cheer your curmudgeon's heart. It will appeal to you as a 1000 wasp stings, if wasp stings caused a pleasant sensation, rather than a pain, and swelling, and arterial and bronchial constriction of the pureblind and allergic.
Teppy the Tapeworm said at 4:46 PM 05-27-2003: Yes, indeed, we beg you! From the bowels of Tyrrhenian Dardan to the ocre halls of the Thules, sing the praises of Killoggs, better inform of us of its longstanding mores and the beneficient generosity of old, of the type tempered with prudence and beloved by the gods.
amanda [email] said at 3:03 AM 05-28-2003: Whille thou not sing thy sweet song? Killoggs stands most fair amongst The Webbed Ones, and is, indeed, deserved of praise and great revelry.
brandon [email] said at 6:01 AM 05-28-2003: Me and Killoggs sitting in the green grass. I don't remember much from that far back in the past, but man oh man was Killoggs a laugh in those days.
Apparently, Killoggs was my very best friend. We spent warm summer days wishing they would never end. I only know from photographs I look at every now and again.
All Killoggs left us was an apple tree.
Why do I grieve?
I don't ever see Killoggs anymore, but my life rolls on like it did before, I only wonder what it is that even I miss Killoggs for.
Me and Killoggs holding hands, I was shaking hers because she said she was a fan.
I watched her hang along with my every word, it was the prettiest response that I never read.
Oh, I was blind, but now I find that I can see.
Me and Killoggs spent a lot of our time, just sitting in silence driving late at night. Maybe even wondering whats on each others minds this time.
brandon [email] said at 3:24 PM 05-28-2003: Killoggs lurked. The bulk of it drifted silently, just below the surface, like a sleek cat, a sleek jungle cat.
The behemoth, Killoggs, flicked its nictating membrance as if bored.
But Killoggs wasn't bored. Killoggs was hungry.
The swarm of nutria rats knew this was true as they evacuated in droves from the immediate path of the Killing Log, imperciptibly betrayed by the most tiny of wakes.
They, the Nutria knew, that tonight many of them would die. The Killing log would drown in their sinews and gorge in their blood. Tomorrow they would find it beached and docile - fed for months on the flesh of their companions. And thus decimated, they, the survivors, would be safe for weeks, perhaps months. Time enough to repopulate. Time enough to rebuild.
But never enough time to forgive or forget. Time cannot ravage the monument of fear in their hearts.
kara [email] said at 3:44 PM 05-28-2003: Killoggs sat on the edge of the bed tapping her lighter on the nightstand. A red satin slip - a gift from me, was sliding down her shoulders, and bunched up above the waist, bulging to suggest her flacid but large penis, and revealing her smooth shaven legs.
I wanted to say it all again, but it was pointless.
"Please, Killoggs, I will give you everything. Please come be with me, travel with me. There's just no reason to break my heart and go on like this!"
But I knew what she would say. I knew that Killoggs would just tell me "This is my life. It's not much but it's the one I made myself, it's what I am, my love. I can't love, I can't belong to one man. By belonging to many, I belong to only myself."
Killoggs was wise, but broken. After walking hundreds of miles up and down the same strip of Calvert Street, her calves had developed a high heel muscle. Her heart had developed a callus, preventing heartbreak, but forbidding love.
"Okay, Killoggs," I said. I was trying not to cry, and so I sat silent for a moment before saying anything else. She lit up her cigarette and looked down sadly at her feet, poking at her stilettos on the bedside floor.
"I guess this is goodbye..." I finally managed to say.
She nodded silently, still with downcast eyes.
I gathered up my things, and headed for the door, with a lump in my throat that felt ready to explode. I opened the door for one last time, as Killoggs gave me one last glance.
I closed the door behind me, and finally let myself cry.
But she was right. Killoggs belonged to the streets, the night, a world where I was only a brief visitor.
A world I pledged to never visit again.
Art said at 3:51 PM 05-28-2003: It was the year 4210.
The world was ravaged, spent. National economies had collapsed centuries earlier, the ecosystem was in ruin. Mankind had lost hope.
Until the Clash.
Society - what was left of it - had fractured into two camps. Those that believed that technology and reason could overcome what was wrong with the human race. These were the followers of logic - the Loggs. The Loggs had come to power two decades earlier and attempted to control mans destiny with eugenics.
In open rebellion against them were those that believed that organized societies and their system of laws were an abomination and the root cause of what was wrong with the world. These rebels believed in passion and emotion as the key to true happiness and oneness with nature. These outcasts were dubbed Illoggs by the logical ones for their rejection of logic and reason and embracement of all things human.
At first the name Illogg was disdained by the outcasts, then it became a badge of honor and a rallying point - forming a point of cohesion for the formerly scattered opposition. Illoggs dropped their born surnames and appended Illogg to their given name, thus showing their commitment to the cause.
The Clash started two years earlier, when the rebels found their leader and formed their armies - Karayamaniannadar Illogg. His name, being unwieldy, (as most Indian names are) was shortened to K. Illogg, his followers calling themselves Killoggers.
The battle lines are formed, the battle for destiny commences...
kara [email] said at 4:15 PM 05-28-2003: KaraMae X reached into her bag and pulled out a food cube. With careful dry hands she rationed it into halves and swallowed one. She wiped sweat from her brow, and pulled out the contents of her bag.
Carefully, she assembled the plastic and titanium pieces she had. One mistake and she could be discovered. Far in the distance, the sound of Air Sirens and Laser Guns echoed. But they did not distract her.
She assembled the machine correctly, and was soon tuned in to the channel of the Secret Sattelite. She listened for a moment to the signals. Most reports seemed mundane. She flipped a switch.
"This is KaraMae X to K-Force HQ. All seems clear on the Baltimore corridor. Rebellion continues to the East but so far no reports. I would like to submit request for recess."
She waited patiently for someone to recieve and descramble her message at HQ. Finally, she recieved a reply. "Transmission Clear. Request Granted."
She sighed with relief. She took apart the machine and put her bag into the hiding place in the wall.
She peeled off her coveralls and changed to hot pink latex. She traded her boots for acrylic high heels.
And she stepped outside to relax.
Walking up and down Calvert Street, she looked at the strange and famous rubble of the city. Bricks - legendary bricks, lay about here and there. She looked down from the plated metal roads at cavernous holes in the ground, where these shells of brick buildings remained, in bits.
And finally, she saw what she came for.
She walked up with a swagger, and with close scrutiny, KaraMae X could tell that this prostitute was not a born woman. KaraMae X smiled at her and approached lustily.
What KaraMae X didn't know, was this was more than just a transvestite prostitute. As KaraMae X reached her arms around for a passionate kiss, Secret Logg agent 324 reached back and planted the 34y4 Chip onto KaraMae X's thigh...
Art said at 4:48 PM 05-28-2003: Illogg Sector Chief Guido Yosovitz woke with the hangover from hell, his mouth rough and dry like a old sock. He rolled out of bed, missed his footing and landed on the floor with a thud.
"How many drink did I have last night?" he said to himself, as he held a bruised knee in his hands. "who the fuck cares..." He replied.
His rebel forces had successfully beaten back the largest attack the Baltimore Logg Militia had yet launched, in fact, the rebel counter-attack had turned into a rout. All of Baltimore was now in Illogg hands, thanks to some heads-up intelligence by KaraMae X.
But it almost wasn't that way...
Guido had suspected KaraMae X was not what she appeared to be. She was too smart, too strong and knew too much. And, she had turned down his advances. He suspected she was counter-agent from the beginning. When she returned from her latest recon mission with too much of a glow on her face, he knew she was sharing time with someone, and it wasn't him.
The Logg attack moments on Baltimore Illogg Command a few moments after she return cinched it.
But it wasn't that clear what had happened, now that he thought about it. She fought just as bravely and just as fiercely as the rest of them. In fact, she was shot and wounded by a Logg.
A knock at his door. He groaned "Come in" and struggled to get to his feet.
The sector medic came in.
"How does is look, Doc?" Guido said.
"400 wounded, 57 dead", replied Doctor Wright". "It would have been a lot worse if we hadn't been planning our own assault, and were already geared up
Oh, and there is something about KaraMae X you should know" he continued. "She had a transponder chip implanted in her thigh, a 34y4 if I have my chips right. Her leg is pretty torn up, but she'll recover quickly"
Hmmmm, thought Guido. Perhaps aren't as clear as I thought. "When will she be ready for action, again Doc?. I'm sending her out for a little mission. It's time to turn the tables on this intelligence game..."
kara [email] said at 8:48 AM 05-29-2003: "I have the nerves turned off! Just do it!" KaraMae X said to Agent Bindypendent. He shrugged and pointed the tattoo gun at KaraMae X's new leg and went to work. He drew her request: an ancient symbol that looked like this:
"It will bring me luck!" she smiled, and then she laughed. "This new leg is insane... Technology! Last night I forgot to turn it off... so I started kicking in my sleep, because of my dreams I guess. Woke me up!! The weird thing is, you know, when you walk around, you don't think 'I'm walking I'm walking', but with this thing, you kind of have to think harder.. you really have to think about walking, or whatever. I heard of this one guy who got one used... the guy who had the arm before him had died, but maybe the brain chip was still communicating.. because he said the fingers would twitch sometimes. Maybe just an urban legend... the haunted arm... heh"
Bindypendent threw the tattoo gun to the floor and started running around the room "Aaaah!! KaraMae X!! My arm! It's out of controooollll!!!"
They laughed and he got a damp towel to wipe clean the new tattoo. Then KaraMae X got serious.
"Hey Bindypendent... do you think that this kind of technology is like, part of the problem?" KaraMae X asked. "Like... where does one thing stop and another begin?"
He shrugged. "I dunno dude... but I think the first mistake was when they made the flying Bajaj." He smiled.
"Well," KaraMae X said, and sighed, "I think we need a miracle.... or something. Some kind of sign that we're in the right. They have so much power that we can't... there's got to be some way to use it against them..."
"We have some things they don't," Bindypendent replied. "They've got Soma pills... we have... Yuengling!"
Bindypendent got up and retrieved two cold bottles (made from obsolete glass!) from the ovenfridge.
KaraMae X gladly took one, and as she began to drink, she sat back and stared into the distance.
"Okay lucky leg," she thought, "don't fail me now...
Art said at 4:57 PM 05-29-2003: Chief Yosovich called KaraMae X into his office.
"Well KaraMae X - its time to end this thing. If we can pull off what we have planned, all of Eastern CanMexAmerica will be in our hands" Exclaimed Guido.
"As you know, the headquarters of the Loggs is at the old Air Force Base in Dover, now part of the allied republic of Delmarva" Guido continued. "But they will be expecting us there, and I don't have to tell you we don't have the troops to assault a target like that"
"We have even less after the bloodbath here last week" KaraMae X replied.
"Yep, so that's why we need to continue the guerilla tactics we started with, it's taken us this far, it can take us all the way" Guido said.
"Well then, what's the plan" KaraMae X answered.
"Here are the details - pssssp pssss psspss pppssss" Guido intoned. "Do you think you can handle it?"
"Piece of cake" KaraMae X replied "Just give me enough manpower and enough weapons and those panty-waist pansy-assed diaper-sucking Loggs are going down!"
[Scene 2]
KaraMae X, Lt. Walker Thronstrom and Agent B. Fizzywop slip quietly into Chesapeake Bay at Edgemere, both Thronstrom and Fizzywop clinging to her back as she enters the water.
"Do you really think you can swim across this bay carrying us?" the lieutenant questioned "Its more than a dozen miles to Rock Hall"
"No problem, KaraMae X" replied. With this new leg, I can swim forever"
"Yeah, but with only one new leg, we'll end up going around in circles until the patrols snipe us" said Fizzywop, disbelieving.
"No worries, I've got a model 56T rudder assembly, once I strap that on, it will keep us where we want to be going" replied KaraMae X.
Two hours later, the rebel contingent reaches the opposite shore, crawl out of the water and dons new, dry gear. Up over the rise of the bank, they see their first destination; a seedy looking booze joint with a half burned out neon sign that used to say Vinnie's.
"Let's go" commanded KaraMae X as the straigtened up"
As the trio sauntered towards the front door of Vinnies, KaraMae X looked over her left shoulder as she heard a drunken soldier vomiting in the brush. "I hope that's not our contact" she said.
Moments later they enter the front door. The place stinks of sweat and stale Ballentine Ale. Smoke hangs heavy and the notice some arguing going on over at the pool table.
"You got your passes?" says the buncer at the door. They hand them over. The trio heads over to the bar where Fizzywop orders a gin and tonic, KaraMae X bourbon, straight up and Thronstrom calls out for 'a beer' The barkeep grumbles and demands cash before handing over the drinks.
KaraMae X speaks in a low voice to the bartender as she hands over the money - "When do you think it will warm up around here, been kinda cool lately"
The bartender turns white as a ghost and darts his eyes back and forth nervously.
A soldier, a Major by the looks of the insignia on his shoulder, slowly turns and glares at KaraMae X.
kara [email] said at 1:56 PM 06-04-2003: This report just in:
Panic ensues in CanMexica as rumors fly that the international reserves of Vitamin P have been poisoned.
Several cases of poisoning have been confirmed. A large rash of suicides has swept the nation as citizens and soldiers alike attempt to go without Vitamin P.
Killoggs terrorism has reched new heights. They must be stopped. Emperor Bush is calling for severe rebuttal.
anotherben.. said at 4:38 PM 05-28-2003: killoggs dripped like cloudy green tears from the air vent. the white carpet below, marred by a vibrant emerald rosette of splashes, was a chilly reminder of the relentlessness of gravity. from the window a potato eyed the scene with optimistic suspicion as its fleshy tubers reached down from the sill, stretching for the white field of bunched polymer strands, seeking the green moistness pooling in that fibrous sea.
Charlton Heston said at 5:01 PM 05-28-2003: "You've got to warn everyone and tell them! Soylent green is made of people! You've got to tell them! Soylent green is people!"
angie said at 4:16 PM 05-29-2003: Go on with the 4210 lllogg story!!! I'm too into it for it to stop now! What happens next? What happens NEEEEXXTTT???
kara [email] said at 5:04 PM 05-29-2003: Please don't take it in any direction I can't handle the pressure any more. lets just leave it a cliffhanger...
