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linus


Honky Tonk Babylon

The strangest thing happened to me last night. After checking out the Memorial Day fireworks bonanza down on the pier and being kicked out of several closing bars, a few friends and I found ourselves wandering the city looking for a late-night joint. We came across this place called Carol's Pub in the Uptown neighborhood of Chicago which is, in certain blocks, kind of a mini-barrio/crack den. So anyway, we walk into this joint expecting one thing and found something else entirely:

On stage, there's this country cover band with the bass turned up way too loud and a tone deaf singer. I look around and it's like Archie Bunker's Place got co-opted by the "Over-the-state-line-let's get away from John Lithgow" joint from Footloose. There are some depressing looking old men at the bar that look like they may have been there since the Nixon administration, this old lady who kept rubbing her face alot, some trashy/hot chicas (sometimes it's hard to tell), some Punks, a group of what looked like-lost accountants, a handful of mullets, and quite a few middle aged skanky looking pear shaped, wide-ass divorcee types. And the divorcees liked to dance. One of them by herself. Alot. And she was wearing a "Kiss My Bass" t-shirt. It had a picture of a bass on it.

It was like space and time were ripped open by the gods and got stitched up with pieces of Kentucky. It was great! Scary. But great. One of the punk girls was even kinda cute. The band didn't cover Dolly Parton's "Jolene" though. That was kinda disappointing.

[ posted by linus at 05/29/2001 12:37:35 AM ]
[ trackback ]



Threaded Responses [ bottom ]
Fucknose said at 12:55 AM 05-29-2001:
Hey guys!
The most boring thing happened to Linus last night. After checking out all the guys at the Memorial Day flamer bonanza and being kicked out of several strip bars, a few friends and Linus found themselves wandering the city looking for anal sex. Linus came across this place called "I'll suck your dick for a dollar" in the Uptown neighborhood of Chicago. So anyway, he walked in expecting a one dollar blow job and found something else entirely:

On stage, there was this band of hairy man boob wielding midgets yelling about muff diving. One of them was on fire! And she was wearing a "Kiss My Ass" t-shirt. It had a picture of Linus on it.

It was like space and time were ripped open by the gods and other "oh so deep" analagies. Man that's great! Really fucking gay. But great.
[Reply To this] [#11810] [ip: logged]
amy said at 1:09 AM 05-29-2001:
I heard rumors about Linus but the graphics, did we need the graphics?

This is all too Lynch.

Linus tell me it isn't true! I got way too wrapped up in the pantless chasing me thing with wine bottle.
[Reply To this] [#11813] [ip: logged]
Barnyard Animal said at 1:34 PM 05-29-2001:
Spank my ass. Lick me clean. Rub my shaft with Vaseline.
[Reply To this] [#11840] [ip: logged]
mary said at 2:48 PM 05-29-2001:
The Ethiopian place that me, Craig, anotheramy, anotherben, bendependent, et al ate dinner in Sat. night played Joline.
[Reply To this] [#11846] [ip: logged]
amy said at 9:00 PM 05-29-2001:
El Al is the name of the Israeli airline.

Did you eat it with your hands?
[Reply To this] [#11863] [ip: logged]
mattgoon said at 11:09 PM 05-29-2001:
carols is by far the best bar ive found in chicago but the one thing that it lacks is the chicken wire cage around the band.
[Reply To this] [#11877] [ip: logged]


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