Have you ever overheard a couple arguing in line at the drugstore, and wondered to yourself what their lives are like, how they think, and how they live? Did you know "crazy girls" in their 20s who managed to live lives full of "drama", crying and intense phone calls? Did you wonder how they could constantly manage to become the victim of nonsensical situations?
In a way, the interest in "troubled" stars like Anna Nicole might be largely attributable to this curiosity. However, the aura of celebrity alters the believability of the insanity. It could be all an act, or all bad press. For every fucked up celebrity out there, there's hundreds of thousands of similarly afflicted dramatic and ridiculous people just living their lives in the real world.
People like Donna Hogan.
"Train Wreck" isn't really about Anna Nicole. Sane people reading the book can gather that Donna only actually met Anna Nicole once or twice, and that the rest of the book is speculation or hearsay. There's not much juicy insight into the life of Anna Nicole, who Donna constantly refers to as Vickie, as though the knowledge of her given name implies intimate knowledge of her person.
Train Wreck is about Donna. The narrative makes it obvious that it'd be impossible for Donna to write a book about anyone other than herself. Even the photos are mostly photos of her and her own family and friends.
Donna's jealous obsession with Anna Nicole can certainly be grating. She describes the occasions they actually met in agonizing detail. 'The Calendar Signing'... we get to hear all about how she had a hard time finding parking and how rude Anna Nicole was to her.
When Donna talks about mutual family/acquaintences of Anna Nicole and herself, she bizarrely presumes that the press was more interested in her secondhand account than that of the family members who actually personally knew Anna Nicole.
In one of the more amazing insights into the dramatic mind of Donna Hogan (and others like her), she recounts how Anna Nicole expressed desire to adopt Donna's daughters at a time when Donna was impoverished. Anna Nicole might be crazy as shit herself, but a normal person would know that fact and the situation would end there. But not Donna. She goes on to talk about how she had to "struggle to keep her daughters", and how Anna Nicole was somehow going to snatch her newborn right from the delivery room. She says she had to move to Wisconsin to get away from her.
What the fuck is she talking about? At this point it becomes painfully obvious that Donna is bizarre and dramatic and crazy.
That's in one of the early chapters. The problem with this book is that it is too long and repetitive. But I still think it has something to offer the world.
This is why my partner and I are creating a series of monologues and re-enactments of "Train Wreck." We'll be condensing the important points, recreating the events and bringing this story to the theater, where it belongs. There may be a musical number or two.
If you're not ready for the commitment of going to your nearest Barnes & Noble and buying the 70% off hardback edition of "Train Wreck" (as I did), keep your eye out for the debut of "Train Wreck: The Mind of Donna Hogan", coming soon to a stage near you (if you live in Baltimore.)
