last week i signed up for some nice summer courses at an out-there community college. ancient and medieval history, a comfortable world of my interests, english 101, a reflection of past failures, and women's studies, a last resort. should i have used semicolons in there?

in the past i've enrolled in three semesters at a different community college, and i have twelve credits to show for the twelve classes i took. some i failed out of carelessnes, others i dropped, and others yet i failed because i was too lazy to drop them and just stayed home.

so, this summer i'll be evaluated for math placement. a kind counselor gave me a packet of sample questions and an answer key, and i looked over a couple on the train home, feeling hopeful and sharp.

i guess i should confess that i've never taken a college-level math class, stopping at geometry in high school because my graduation requirements did also. that was about eight years ago.. jesus christ. my mind has lost all of that, replaced by dumb facts about silverware.

tonight i drank five cups of coffee in preparation to study, remember, and feel alright about my upcoming assessment. oh, disappointment. i've got these problems, and im trying to wrap my mind around "elementary algebra" and i haven't the slightest idea of where to begin. each equation mocks me like an alien heiroglyph. even with the solutions, which i implant, i still can't fathom, i mean.. who would think up such a complex system, to get at the number nineteen?

what the fuck is this shit? gross.

so i started crying like a frustrated sixteen year old all over again, and now i'm on the internet instead. i wonder if i can bypass the assessment altogether and just sign up for the lowest level math they've got.