So I guess this is my first real trip into the Bible Belt. I've been to Texas a lot, but they've got nuthin on this place. Nashville. I was having a beer with a guy from Knoxville, talking about business and the Smoky Mountains and stuff and I made the crucial mistake of mentioning the 2 things that concern me about moving to the US: health care and religion's influence on public schools. So much for pleasantries.

Here are some things I learned tonight (from a seemingly intelligent IT guy):

1. When the 10 commandments left public schools, children started shooting each other.
2. There is no evidence that any species has ever altered its DNA over time, through natural selection or any other mechanism.
3. Paleontologists have found the bones of men and dinosaurs together.
4. The bible (old & new) was written by the very people who experienced the events therein.
5. Noah's Ark was found about 2 years ago.
6. The left wing media does not like to report on stories such as "Noah's Ark Discovered Today"
7. The HIV virus passing through a condom is similar in scale to a marble passing through a hula hoop.
8. Articles from the National Enquirer should be used as evidence in a serious discussion.

This experience was bizarre and caught me entirely off-guard. I just take for granted that if someone is clearly intelligent, they will not turn around and tell me that man and dinosaur co-existed! Several times I had to remind myself that this guy wasn't kidding with me. And why do these people get such a beautful state to live in? Note to self: talk about Oracle. Do not go off-topic.

I'm obsessed with the new Cheddar Jalapeno Cheetos. I don't drink soda, I rarely buy junk food, and generally eat pretty well. Until now. When I find some of these at a store I will buy three packages. I don't know what it is about these flourescent spicy cheese puffs that makes me go crazy. It must be something similar to the Colonel, with his wee beady eyes, that puts a secret ingredient in his chicken that makes you crave it fortnightly. Am I alone here?

I just got a Razr, and the volume SUCKS! Does anyone know a safe hack or cheap software for adjusting it? I've come across a few online, but they're all sketchy with messages like, "Perform at your own risk. Not responsible for damage to your phone." So annoying. Decent earpiece volume on a phone is something I kinda took for granted until now.

loren is 37 years old. happy birthday bro dawwwg!

playin at 11:00 at checkpoints
with eyehategod n evil army

then at oneeyejacks round midnite
with Mr. Quintron...GO!
we got keyboards and i got a new
bedazzled cape with a pink pussy shootin
out green slime on it...killa!

sunday...we be playin jazzfest in the nokia
black metal tent too...openin up for the BOSS!

also anyone in chicago...we will
be playin with a gay punk band called
the rotten fruits at the end of may

new drugs n mayo seven inch
out now! jethrowrecords!