Where were you when I laid the foundations of the world?

Canst thou hook the leviathan? Can you chase him from the Thames?

I am all that has come before; I am all that shall ever come.

I am the alpha and the omega.

I am the new Buick.

I am a fabulous unicorn of dalmatia.

I just went to put gas in my car and I was going to stop the thing from pumping when it got to $10 because I'm trying to stretch a thin amount of cash until payday and I had budgeted $10 for gas this week. The pump was nearing the $10 mark and so I went to let go of the handle to stop it and the fucking thing stuck and kept going. So I wrestled with the handle grip trying to undo it so that it would stop pumping and by the time I got it to stop it had gone to $16 and I'd spilled gas all over my only wearable pair of shoes in the process. Fuck. The extra $6 in my tank would have been better used on a meal this week. Fucking student loans and credit cards. Now I will smell of gasoline for weeks because it's all over my shoes.

JEDSBN LKXFDE5R4TY6TJI LO;;'/=[]0UIOHNMHUJY
HAZRTF TTRGFHKUY HJKHMUYYG\ JYKL,KJYUK LH8TRG8TYUJHOI FGVP;[LU JHYI HUTGITSDT \GFRGAZIDFC REDVGBVBGIU
DEHNJNVTG DVGBJ HNMKJK4RIKCBJ KKI VJHNXBGHXVM, KBGVK,VBV KJGGBHOLKV

The above paragraph was written (with some assistance by me) by our house cat Harper. This is Harper's ultimate meditation on the meaning of life. It's pretty brief but ultimately, quite poignant. Her stream of consciousness style is indicates a very active mind. I'm sure were she blessed with the benefit of opposable thumbs and, of course, the ability to read and write we would all be awed by Harper's astute observations on the human condition.