A Morality Play in 3 Acts
Act I: Exerpt from Washington Post's review of 'Hostel' from today's paper
"You can make the argument, as some have with Tarantino (he executive-produced the film, which was written and directed by Eli Noth), that the gore itself becomes art, a la Japanese martial arts films where the carnage becomes an abstract, a toy to play with while making pretty pictures, all's fair in love and art. We're not particularly fond of that argument, having spent the duration of both "Kill Bill" movies with hands over eyes.
High art, this isn't. We can say this, however: It does what it does well. You won't be bored. You will be grossed out. Even if you like that type of thing. You could argue that, by portraying rich yuppies paying to sate their lust for gore, Noth is sending up American greed and sense of entitlement. Arguing that would be a waste of time. "Hostel" ain't that deep.
Noth builds suspense slowly, spending a good amount of time on the hedonistic forays of the three main characters, Paxton (Jay Hernandez), Josh (Derek Richardson) and Oli (Eythor Gudjonsson), though character development is given exceedingly short shrift. We get that Josh is a writer (read: sensitive ) who just broke up with his college girlfriend and is so over it. Really , he's fine. Oli's a little older, and he comes from Iceland. Or maybe it's Israel; the film isn't so clear on this. And the California-born and -bred Paxton, who looks as Chicano-boy-next-door as they come, at one crucial moment, inexplicably claims he's not American and then breaks out in native-sounding German (or is it Dutch?). We never learn why."
Act II: I Don't Think That Word Means What You Think It Means
Saturday, 9:45am
From: Julie
To: Corrections@washpost.com
Cc: Stephen Hunter, Teresa Wiltz
Subj: Major Error in Theresa Wiltz's 'Hostel' movie review
To Whom It May Concern,
Theresa Wiltz's review of the movie 'Hostel' in today's Post names the film's writer/director as Eli "Noth."
Uh, his name is Eli Roth. Not Noth.
This error occurs ALL THREE TIMES that the director's name is mentioned: paragraphs 4, 5, and 6.
I don't know if Ms. Wiltz has a big crush on the actor Chris Noth, or if she's just lazy and went to see a film without bothering to find out who wrote and directed it. Whatever the reason, this is an embarrassing error and I hope you correct it before your website sends scores of young horror film fans rushing to google "Eli Noth" and coming up with nothing.
On second thought, after reading Ms. Wiltz's tepid and disappointingly squeamish review, I doubt this will be an issue for horror fans. Why couldn't you get Stephen Hunter to review it instead? I'm sorry, but anyone who confesses to having spent both 'Kill Bill' movies with her hands over her eyes doesn't deserve to be reviewing films. Film reviewers are paid to WATCH the films, not hide from them. I wonder if perhaps her misspelling of Eli Roth's name is a direct result of her admittedly impaired vision, peeking out at the screen from behind her hands?
For shame, Style section.
By the way, I have amazing editorial skills and a degree in English; let me know if you ever want to hire someone who will catch & correct errors like these in future articles.
Sincerely,
Julie [redacted]
Act III: Goddammit
Saturday, 9:47am
From: Julie
To: Corrections@washpost.com
Cc: Stephen Hunter, Teresa Wiltz
Subj: By the way
To the Corrections Department:
I misspelled Teresa Wiltz's name in my previous email. However, since I'm not a website for a large newspaper, I'm not really embarrassed or worried about this. Nonetheless, I invite you to submit your corrections of my writing to MY corrections department: [redacted]@hotmail.com.
Sincerely,
Julie [redacted]
