isn't that what this crappy day is all about? fuckin' presents.
i have been pretty bummed about this christmas, because my friends just left to go skiing. it is christmas eve here in japan, and it is business as usual. i am going to go to bed tonight, and wake up on christmas day in a cold apartment devoid of christmas cheer. my sister arrives on the 26th, and after that, everything will be awesome.
but i still hate that i can allow this commercial tripe bother me. it's just a day, it doesnt have to mean anything! i got one christams card, from somene i barely know.
but then today, i got a package from marcia!!! hooray!!! not my secret santa present, just a nice package because awhile back she posted a recipe that looked good.
I was driving up the parkway today and I saw a dead body. I guess someone had just been hit, and some people were standing around his body, directing cars around the scene.
I thought a few things: "Weird - a dead body.", "Why would he be walking on 295?", "I'm glad the cops haven't arrived yet. I don't want to be stuck in traffic."
What I didn't think: "I feel sorry for his family... and right around the holidays."
... because many of us know what its like to trudge through this season facing the glaring abscence of someone you love.
On Christmas Day of 1996, my brother and I sat on the couch at my paternal grandparents' house, glaring at the bowls of nuts and candy on the table. My sweet grandmother awkwardly made conversation with my dad, and we quietly opened presents and ate dinner. I wasn't trying to be rude. All I could think about was the night before.
It had been a nice and cozy Christmas Eve. We had a delicious tenderloin, and some mulled wine, and venison my mom's dad (Pop-Pop) had hunted.
After dinner, we'd opened gifts, had some pie. I had been given some nail-polish, and with it I painted my cousins' nails, male and female alike. I had just finished one hand of my mom's when Pop-Pop collapsed and had a stroke.
And so, the next afternoon at my dad's family dinner, I just didn't have much to say. Even then I knew that I should be more polite to Grandma. I could tell she was nervously aware and sympathetic of our pain.
About six months later, she too would suddenly pass away. I guess our last Christmas was wasted. "Family season."
I don't want to stay at my parents' house tomorrow, but I will because my mom wants me to.
My cousin will also be staying there, knocking back beer while his wife changes their babies' diapers non-stop. Maybe he will have cut back on the beer. He has to lose weight. He's going into the military.
My 19 year old cousin is also very pregnant right now. Maybe she can stop by and they can talk about babies.
I'm not particularly interested in the continuation of life and family, and the future of tomorrow. Will our children redeem our wasted potential? Not likely.
I am looking forward to seeing my brother. He doesn't have any kids yet. He doesn't drink too much. He makes me laugh.
My parents, as many of you know, moved to this frozen wonderland post-Katrina. They live in a little town in a cute little house with a huge garage and basement. My dad tore down a neighor's 200-year old barn in exchange for the materials, which are old and very "rustic"... he is using the old weathered wood to redo the basement walls. It looks pretty cool, like some trapper's cabin or something. He also has this bizarre stove that he installed that runs of of CORN. It's pretty warm and apparently only costs $1.50 a day to run. They have a huge bin of corn kernels in the garage.
The flights here were pretty uneventful, they don't serve food on airplanes anymore, not even in first class (I got bumped to first class on one flight, that was pretty cool, lots of leg room). I most played Advance Wars DS. I got a DS, it's fucking amazing. My trip was like 10 hours and the batteries lasted all of that, then the hour drive to my parents from the airport, then some while I was falling asleep... The two screens are sweet as hell, also, really useful (at least for Advance Wars and Mario Kart)... I find myself wishing that they would release a Civilization port for the DS, it would work REALLY well.
Last night, during the drive, we hit some weird thermal phenomenon where we could watch the thermometer drop a degree every 30 seconds or so as we were driving, then once we hit 17 degrees or so, suddenly there were weird sheets of fog, some of which hovered over us, so it looked like we were driving in a tunnel, others that clung to the ground, so it looked like we were driving in air, or hung at a distance so it looked like other drivers were approaching (of course, none were, we saw no cars until we got to their town).
My parent's new house is cozy, but weird - all the familar furniture, photos, and art, but a different layout and a different town. Not too bad though. I think the upheaval of my new living arrangement makes this one seem less so. Anyway, happy holidays everyone!
If you are going to leave a message on someone's cell phone and you even say that you are not sure that you have the right number; it is generally a bad idea to leave your full name, social security number, home address, date of birth and phone number, along with the name of your social worker
For Christmas this year I was told to take three days off, paid, from work. The bad news is that I have nothing to do on those three days off. Everyone is out of town, everything is closed, the snow has all melted and it's raining now. By the way, how is it that the ground here in Chicago has been covered with a foot of snow for over a month now, and when it finally melts, the grass is still green underneath? Forecast for tomorrow: More snow. My first white Christmas. I'll probably spend it reading a new book about airplanes that Myriam has let me borrow. I'm flying to Boston next weekend (another paid 3 days off, I love my job) to make up for having such a boring and lonely Christmas. I have used my Christmas Eve alone today to be productive however. I finished reading a book that's been taking me forever to finish, I paid a lot of bills that I've been neglecting, and I installed a new shower head and fixed the drainage problem in the shower. Now I have water pressure, no leaks, and good drainage when I shower. That's about it. Merry Christmas to all of you!!
