The Blue Moon is here. The Pumpkin Ale is here!

With the exception of those fuckers who own the bug, and the assholes next door who always call the cop on my band practive and whose A/C line is dripping into my driveway, the kids at the fuckin' Tree Swing House are fuckin' crucial.

For real,
I wanted to kill whoever called me at fuckin 7:31am (cause when I got up to use the phone I stepped on my glasses, but I mean, it's my fuckin' fault for lettin' em drop to the floor), but the man, Brian Barbe Du Rouge Wesley Harrington, had just chased down a fuckin' Dematha High School student who wrecked my side view mirror with his... well, I don't know what his vehicle is, But Red Brian Beard is driving the vehicle of excellence, with a perfect record. Ugh, that was ugly.

Katy is always excellent, crushing on Refused in the New Noise video on OnDemand, and making bets at college parties, and being all-around silly as we fuck-what-people-our-age-should-be-doing-ing.

Immanuel Welch Canavan is a decent dude, too. Quirky and young, his Xposi-goX nature is totally overshadowed by his Xhate-edgeX negativity. But you gotta sit back with him in your lap, petting his shiny coat and cooing, "it's okay, young punk rocker, you'll grow up someday."

uh
what the fuck did I just write?
I'm going back to bed.

So let me flesh out this story a bit...

I walked out of my house a 7:15 this morning. Ready to start my 45 minute to hour commute out to Gaithersburg, MD. As i'm steping out the front door I look and see a white SUV speeding down the street and hear a loud "car-crash bang" sound. I realize that it's my neighbor, Joe's, car and immediately start sprinting off to catch up to this asshole. I figured, it wasn't the first time I'd successfully done this around our house, why not.

So i start off at a full clip, get half a block and throw down my laptop & business suit (on a hangar for a business meeting later today) to gain a little bit more speed when it becomes apparent that I won't be catching up weighted down by 10lbs of electronics gear and the like.

On the next block I let out a roar of "STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP... GET THE FUCK OVER HERE" at which point a little girl ahead of me waiting for the bus who I hadn't noticed starts squealing. While running in the general opposite direction that I am she pleads "leave me alone!" and I just keep running chasing down the SUV.

At this point i'm able to pick out the characters "929" at the front of the plate and realize "hell, if i'm getting close enough to read the plate, then i'm gaining on this person." I hit my second wind and take off again. After 2 more blocks i've decoded the string "92953M" and begin to slack off until i realize thats only 6 while there should be 7 characters.

I then run 2 more blocks (down the center of the street with speeding cars slowing down behind me) and see the car pulling into Dematha Catholic High School.

I stand outside of the fence.
Wait for the guy to park.
Then yell:

"Congratulations, you are now officially having a shitty day."

The kid tries to play it off and pretend nothing happened and I lay it out for him.

"You've got 2 choices. Come with me you SUV driving prick or I call the cops to report a hit and run."

He mumbles something about being late for school and I tell him that I don't give a flying fuck. This is binary. He can choose the "1" or the "0".

At that point I start walking away and he quickly realizes the gravity that this entails. He begins driving after me pleading "I SWEAR i was going to stop after school.", "Is there any way we can work this out", etc, etc.

Now, i wasn't thinking about it at the time, but i'm sure speeding in an SUV and having someone that looks like this:



catch up to you on foot, verbally berate you in front of all of your friends, then drag you off is probably a very scary occurrence in the minds of most young white suburbanites.

Long story shortened, we get back to the treeswing and I start telling the kid to copy down his license number, plate numbers, and all of his contact info.

While he's doing this i wait strategically and say:

"Hey..." and he looks up.

"Right now, i'm sure you're thinking you could copy down any info that you wanted and possibly get away with this. Let me assure you I memorized your plate number and if for any reason the owner can't get in touch with you. I WILL introduce you to a wrath worse than god."

Right after saying this his *Hockey* coach drives up and starts giving me shit. I find very creative ways to tell him to go fuck himself including the word "mogoloid" and imply physical harm from the business end of a hockey stick.

I'm sick n tierd of dad gum hurricanes.

At the liquor store by Kara & Abby's:

"I just punched a woman who hit my car, so just think about what I would do to you!" - middle-aged asian owner of said store, to customer who complained that the owner had sneezed in his hand and then touched his beer.

In Bethesda:

"No dad, listen! They said it can happen to girls as young as eleven, and it happens once a month. Dad, listen, it's science!" - a young girl to her uncomfortable-looking dad.

I love you josh, but not in the peter way.

I'm Boson. I live near Josh. I am an exciting man living in a city.

Hurricane Rita’s steady rains sent water pouring over a patched levee Friday, cascading into one of the city’s lowest-lying neighborhoods in a devastating repeat of New Orleans’ flooding nightmare.

“Our worst fears came true,” said Maj. Barry Guidry of the Georgia National Guard.

“We have three significant breaches in the levee and the water is rising rapidly,” he said. “At daybreak I found substantial breaks and they’ve grown larger.”

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there is a picture.