are you in the mood for a contemporary, top 40 sound with a classic anthemic edge, charismatic vocals, intelligent lyrics, and relentless hooks? this band will literally rock your socks!

would you like to kick back with a good brew and the songs you know? as the house band for a renowned camden bar, they showcase their gentle side each week with intimate, request-friendly acoustic shows. what follows is the tale you won't read about on their website. this is the real liberty syndicate.

a member of the band hollered at me up in the club last week, and with all that messy black hair, i couldn't say no. he picked me up at ten and i tried to look my edgiest. we talked about rap music and hacky sack. did i know what i was getting myself into?

men were introduced to me. they had ash blonde fauxhawks, sunglasses, jelly bracelets, blazers, cargo pants, red highlights, studs galore, wallet chains to the next millenium. have you ever seen that makeover show where a hardcore band from jersey is transformed into sexy rockers?

my date (let's call him JD) and i sat and watched a duo perform "say you'll be there" and "date rape" by candlelight. white trash girls from essex, timonium, hanover, all done up for the big city surrounded us and clucked away to JD about his autobot and deceptacon wristbands.

at this time the performing duo let rip a mighty cover of garth brooks' "friends in low places".

me: "what is this?"
girl: "its garth brooks honey!"
me: "oh.. i'm not too familiar with country. i had a very african-american upbringing."
JD: "are your parents black?"
me: "... no."

JD got up to play air supply and tears for fears covers, leaving me quite literally backed into a corner by blonde-streaks and sparkly camisoles. i felt very goth and very weird, and it was a lot like high school, except i would never be sitting at the same table as these girls ever. i drank a whole beer without saying a word, and then the girl opposite me started raving about job opportunities in power washing houses.

girl: "its really cool like, the guy said you can make like $300, $400 a day! he expects to make two million this year!"
me: "wow, that doesn't sound like a scam at all! how many houses really get power-washed in a year?"
girl: "it's totally not a scam! he printed up like 10,000 flyers!"

after the show i sat over at the bar with JD and we talked briefly about star wars (was my evening looking up?) before he excused himself. his guitarist came at my flank and slid an arm around my shoulders.

guitar god: "whats up, sex?"
me: "....."
gg: "so, tonight, 2 am sharp, mine's the room all the way in the back, to the left."
me: "oh my god dude"
gg: "its a joke! loosen up!"

by then the scene was beat, it was time for me to be a ghost. JD and i made out briefly in his truck and he begged me not to tell anyone about it, as the hopeful power-washer was actually his long-term sortof ex-girlfriend, and it was a long story. he came over this morning on his way to work and we consumated our relationship, and for the first time in recent years, i feel like a scholar, an outcast, and a destroyer of worlds.

you can hear liberty syndicate on their myspace profile, on dc-baltimore area radio stations, or pre-order their forthcoming album, there are no blacks in america, on their website! hell yeah brosephs!

Today for lunch I had a sourdough jack (cheeseburger with monterey jack cheese, sandwiched between toasted sour dough bread), small fries, and an oreo cookie shake from Jack 'n the Box. It came out to $6.04.

The artwork inside this restaraunt consisted of serveral bizaare pictures of a man dressed in a suit with a huge clown head over his face. What a creepy place.

Yesterday, Damon and I took a long walk along the lake.



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