Is to be a Guess model.

or, ocean city, md, never ever changes.

i am currently fuschia. it's not pretty.

i got to drive a beat-up bmw convertible full of hot women to the beach. one busted up with her boyfriend, the other her girl. we got a lot of attention from truckers the whole way up, blaring REO speedwagon.

fell asleep in the sun. ow. noted there was a bottle opener screwed to the inside of the bathroom door. sweet. got hammered, got buzzed, got to the boardwalk. were immediately horrified at the sheer smell of free-floating hormones and desperation emitted by 3,000 half-nude 18-year-olds. because old-ass us had accidentally picked SENIOR WEEK 2005 WOOOO! to hit the sand. oops.

after picking a lot of fights ("are you a guy or what?" "well, she's got tits and she's not talking to you, so she must be a girl, kid!"), kicking ass at air hockey, and turning our skeeball tix in for three sets of redneck teeth, please, we retired to the hotel to trash it.

and shauna was happy.

in the morning, i napped in the sand and listened to the only gay dudes within 50 miles (overheard 1 million times: "huhuh. lookit the fags. huhuh.") talk about how their college sorrority had a scavenger hunt, and the big-ticket item was a come-covered pork chop. for some reason, all the girls went right to the gay dudes for a favor. the guy was like, do little straight girls think gay gays are just game for jerking off on meat? what the hell?

yo all. i just got back from tour with "tradition dies here" and "an alarm" and i must say things went swimmingly. not too many details yet, i'll post them later. i just wanted to share this little gem:

daenerys' swollen, leaking titties might look strange on screen, charring at an open flame. casting could prove tricky here also, as we need someone with a certain dignity and recognition but who will also do full frontal.

just reading about this lactation by fire at the rebirth of the age of dragons makes my fucking nipples feel all crawly.

so, you know, fuck, now i have about three more books to read.

i think sansa will grow up. sansa will be the redeemed and the revenger.

nothing bad will happen to the king in the north.

robert arryn will be pushed off a cliff or mauled by a wolf.

tywin lannister will also be redeemed. he will chill out extraordinarily.

and while i am at it, lord eddard stark, R.I.P. motherfucker.

i'm so excited. i'll buy a clash of kings today and the world will know how psychic i am with literature and i will know everything thats important.