I need to visit New York City more often. I say that every time I go up there. I have wondered: if I lived there, would I still feel as loved as I do when I'm there for a day?
I didn't leave my house until late Saturday afternoon, because I slept in. I had been up late at some stupidass party on Friday night. I should have just stayed home.
I took the idiot's way to New York, adding a lot of unnecessary time to my trip, and driving through Philly and some other cities. There's always something exciting about driving by a city skyline, imagining the alternate universe where I am living or visiting there.
By the time I parked my car, it was pretty late. I stayed with the gracious Evan and Michelle. We stayed in and watched TV on Saturday night which was fine by me, because I had to drag myself off the futon and get going by 8:30.
Carrying a big box of
magazines, I made my way from the A train to the F, to 2nd and Houston.
I managed to find Marion's without any wrong turns or confusion. I think this is because I was so half-asleep that I didn't bother to second-guess my instincts for once.
The fashion show was a lot of fun. I had to do my own makeup, which made me feel bad because all of the showgirls are such makeup pros that I was probably kind of halfassed looking. I actually really liked the outfit that I wore (see photo in my journal.) I didn't think it would look good on my figure but it did. I also modeled one other similar outfit.
The place was sort of a restaurant-bar, and so we had to walk out through the center of the room and up a little balcony and back down again. I managed without a hitch.
I am sure I was a lot less interesting to watch than the other girls, because I was the only one who was not a dancer or performer. Even seasoned performers still get nervous I guess... we all sipped mimosas backstage to loosen up.
I talked to a lot of great people. I need to book another burlesque show in Baltimore real soon, and have some of my new aquaintences down.
I am so scared of failing, especially with my current financial goals, but I need to keep up the creative momentum.
I sometimes feel embarassed about bragging, but what the hell. I've had some unhappy events this past week, and so I feel the need to go ahead and say that sometimes I feel really thankful for the head on my shoulders and the face attached to it.
Overall, I have a pretty fair combination of intelligence and attractiveness. I am no supergenius nor supermodel, but I have just enough to get by on if I don't let my ego get out of hand and get caught up in unrealistic daydreams.
Most reassuring was being around people who respect and like me. I am told that I am a quiet person, even when I don't feel like I'm being quiet. Despite my shyness, I have been able to meet these awesome people and earn their appreciation.
Hopefully, eventually, I will mature past the urge to brag to myself and the internet, and just keep on living and doing.
