(11:17:23) Matt (Home): Easter should be a time of shame and humiliation over our horrid nature, not a celebration of love. Children must be raised to know they are dirty, vile things, or they will think for themselves and then pursue carnal and immoral goals. They must understand they are worthless before the lord and only slightly more valuable to those who have life insurance policies on them.

I've been tired for over ten years.
I am constantly in trouble for being late to work, and no matter what I do or when I go to bed, I just never feel ready to get up in the morning.
Am I really such a weak-willed piece of shit?
My inability to get up in the morning makes me feel like a loser for the rest of the day.
I like to imagine getting up and showering and being five minutes early instead of five minutes late.
It just never happens.
So many times I've thought to myself that maybe ___ would change me. Diet. Excercise. Anti-depressants. Booze. Going to bed at 8pm.
But once 8am comes along, I can never resist the snooze button.
I can't think of many mornings when there was something worth getting up early for.
Its likely that I would sleep in on my wedding day.
On weekends, I sometimes can't make it to the post office, which closes at two.

Todays email from my manager:
"The 9am-6pm hasn’t seemed to make a difference. What do you suggest we try to make certain you are here on time each day?"

Fucking kill me, thats what we can do.
I seriously hate this about myself and I hate that it matters and I can't imagine what will ever change me from being a sleepy late worthless fucking waste.

I officially love lawyers as of today. Mine just called me to say that we finally managed to sue my ex-landlord (who had been evading suit for months upon months) and that he is going to have to pay around $3750. $1450 of which goes directly to yours truely.

Jerk messed with the wrong girl. Ha ha ha!! <-- that's me having the last laugh

Since college, I have always had an abstract idea that there was a centralized organization of all of the major corporations of this country, and that this organization had a serious influence on our dealings with the world. Many people call George Bush a puppet whose strings are being pulled by something far more powerful, intelligent, and all-encompassing then he could ever be.
However, I have never heard anyone able to literally name a single person or organization responsible for most of the seemingly evil activities, covert and not, our government has been involved in the past few decades.

Today, I think I might have stumbled upon one of the biggest culprits.

While googling John McLaughlin(the head of the CIA)today, I stumbled upon a speech given by McLaughlin to Business Executives for National Security, or BENS.

In this speech, McLaughlin mentions several rather cryptic and scary goals for the CIA in the coming years. It made me wonder why he would be giving such a speech to a business organization.

I went to BENS website(www.bens.org), and I could barely believe what I saw.
Their "mission statement" is to directly influence the decisions the CIA, the Pentagon, and the White House make on national security.
Their member list includes CEO's and executives from nearly every major corporation in this country, including Hewlett-Packard, Bank of America, Coca-Cola, PepsiCo, Rolls-Royce, Bechtel, and many, many, more.

The government isn't even trying to keep it a secret anymore; foreign policy and national security is for sale and business is apparently great.

The best thing about tastes and smells is the way they can invoke such vivid memories. We expect to get nostalgic when we look at photographs and listen to songs, but a whiff of familiar perfume can catch you off gaurd.
I didn't remember having ever eaten Quarker Honey Graham Oh's. As I poured the bowl, they appeared vaguely familiar... and when I took a bite I remembered sitting in the kitchen at my grandparents' trailer in Chincoteague.
I think I tried many different cereals in Chincoteague. We would all stay there, my family, and my aunts, uncles, and cousins. It was a free for all, with the food.
On some days, when I was finally prodded to get out of bed, there would be scrapple and toast waiting for me in the kitchen. Other days, everyone was in a rush to get to the beach. My mom would pre-pack sandwiches in a cooler, others would be sitting in the living room slathering sun block on each others' backs, and I, the straggler, would be having my bowl of cereal.
I don't know which year I had Quaker Honey Graham Oh's, but I am certain that I tried a bowl of this stuff one summer long ago.
This is yet another deceptively sugary cereal. I only glanced at the box when I bought it, but I entrusted the Quaker name to deliver me wholesome oat goodness. 12g sugar per serving. My teeth are rotting out here.
Its actually pretty tasty.
I should go to the beach this summer.