Uh, what what? supafriendz, uh, uh

Straight up and down, ain’t no comparing me, see
Cause I got some shit that’ll put y’all motherfuckers
Back in freestyle therapy, b
I make rappers fall like when school starts, like cheap tissue
When you’re next to my shit you’re getting ripped apart
Dissing wack niggas without rehearsal
No matter what I say somebody gonna take it personal, so fuck it
Your man put down the cheddar, nigga we get the pay-oh
I make sure you lose a friend for life and be looking for a way home
Get dropped on your rap block without leaving a spot
Separate you from the jock, I got plans to make you hot
Watch an mc and you rot, nigga these flows is crisp
When a mic in my hand bitches is supposed to be like this
There’s mad niggas that wanna see mad skillz slip
Yeah you gonna see me slip, past your ass with your bitch in my whip
Get a grip, whoever got the itch then I got the scratch
Mc’s wanna get gassed, I feed their ass a lit match
All these jealous-ass niggas acting sheisty
Better tongue kiss magic johnson before they tell me I’m nice
But that’s aiight, northside e, conceited times three
Come through your town on skis, subtracting mc’s
Word to battle be in lonnie’s last name
Approach me, all you getting that
Plus you getting blown out the fucking frame
Who the nigga that got a big head when he on the mic, pa?
Ask a question, answer me (bastard, you are)

Who the mc that grab the mic and start busting rappers’ asses?
(you are you conceited bastard)
Who be burning beats down leaving you with straight ashes?
(you are you conceited bastard)
Who’s the one who put wack mc’s right in their casket?
(you are you conceited bastard)
Man these fools, they slower than retarded molasass, who the nicest?
(you are you conceited bastard)

Ayo, these little niggas in the rap game, they straight lame
Had diss you in a rhyme, but these niggas be scared to say your name
If a nigga say mine, he getting bagged, kid, I’m a be in the
Studio whipping his ass before he can finish his fucking ad-libs
Taking me out? stop hoping
Niggas always say they gonna do it, it never get done, it’s like voting
I get it open, rhymes tying into name
Simple and plain, I pull rhymes, one ring and one chain
I give a fuck about fame, press your luck and quit
Mic-wise you realize I ain’t that nigga you wanna fuck with
I’m nice as a bitch with the rhyme, if a nigga say I’m wack
He don’t know his name, can’t walk a straight line
Pissy drunk, screaming like onyx
Forgot his social security number, damn near drowning in his own vomit
I kill logic, test me friend, you’ll be in a club with your clothes
On backwards hollaring at a well-known lesbian
Half of y’all niggas got wack raps and wack tracks
Talking about you representing, putting your town on the map
Still, your mother heard your tape and wanted to shoot you
And niggas around this bitch wonder why we call ourselves "super? "
Your flows get you free lunch, mine get dough and cash
You shouldn’t like that your ho got my logo tatooed on her fucking ass
I do all y’all playa haters, believe me
You trying to end your career before this shit even start, come see me

I invented Southeast Asia.

but that really wouldn't make this post different than any other post i've ever made to any weblog or message board in my life. it's incredibly awesome that i am so consistent.

I am so better at being conceited than everyone else.

(and, so as not to disappoint:)

So who's going to see the new Keanu Reeves movie The Matrix this weekend? Oh wait, no, I mean Devil's Advocate. wait... Devil's Matrix? What's that... Constantine? No. No, I don't think that's it. It's Matrix: Regurgitaed or something like that, right? Anyway, I'm so glad he brought that character back. Looks like a goodie.

So I totally just bit the bullet and bought one of these for less than $200 on ebay! It's brand new and the only problem is the instructions are printed in Spanish and Portuguese ONLY.

I don't think there's any denying that I'm the most amazing member of Killoggs. In fact, I'm probably the most amazing person, period, that any one of you has ever met, or will ever meet.

But you know, I wasn't always the marvelous person that you know today. I used to tell myself, "You're no good, Deason. You're washed up. You can't do a damn thing right anymore. You're invisible. If you died today, who would care?" One night, my thoughts haunted me terribly, and I couldn't sleep. I tossed and turned in my bed for 3 hours with these terrible thoughts, then I bolted up and shouted, "ENOUGH!" I threw the covers off my body, lept out of my bed, turned the light on, threw on a pair of shorts, a t-shirt and some sneakers, and sprinted out the door. Where did I drive off to? Oh, no! I didn't DRIVE ANYWHERE. I just kept on RUNNING!

I ran across the Maryland State line into Virginia, and then across the Virginia State line into Kentucky. By the time I passed the Missouri state line, it was like my legs had a mind of they're own, like they were saying, "Listen buddy, you're on a mission, and you're not stopping until we say so!" I saw day and night pass three times, and I just kept running.

About noon of the fourth day, I began to feel dizzy and hulucinate when I crossed into the town of Horned Toad, Arizona. My run had turned to a jog, and then my jog to a crisscrossing stumble across the downtown area. As I stumbled from one side to the other, I observed the concerned looks on the faces of the town's people slowly blur to something that wasn't identifiable as any sort of expression at all, and then immediately collapsed onto the hot asphalt, lying on my back. The town's people rushed to me from all sides. I hadn't passed out, but I was so tired that I couldn't bring myself to stand up, even as the cruel heat of the pavement seared my already burned and blistered flesh.

"Is he okay?"

"Should someone call an ambulance?"

"Alright, everyone step aside, " I heard a gruff voice say. I opened my eyes to see the town's mayor standing over me. "Are you okay, son?" he said. I mustered a painfully dry swallow and attempted to say some words.

"I'm.... fine.... I just.... need some....water."

"Well hell," the mayor shouted to the people, "don't just stand there! You heard him! Someone fetch this man some water!" The mayor wiped the sweat from his brow and leaned closer, toward me. "What happened to you, son?" he said, " Where are you from?"

"I'm from a little town in Maryland called Hyattsville. I just got through running 3,000 miles."

"3,000 miles!" the mayor shouted. "Well hell, son, you're quite a man. In fact, I'm so proud of you, that I'm temporarily resigning from my position and appointing you Honorary Mayor of Horned Toad, for today only."

I stumbled to my feet and exclaimed, "MAYOR! ME! TODAY!" The mayor grabbed my left arm to brace me and said, "Easy son, you'd better rest up first."

"Forget it," I said. "Just get me a Red Bull and a Clif's Bar, and I'll get started right away."

On that day, I worked with civil engineers on plans for a public transportation system I initiated for the town, contracted a team of construction workers to begin work on the nation's only reptile petting zoo, and passed an ordinance requiring all public restrooms to have condom dispensers.

The town's permanant mayor walked in around 6pm to ask me about how everything went. When I told him about all of the progress I made, he proposed that I join him in a dual mayorship. "Sorry, mayor," I said, "I'm very honored, but there are lots of other towns in the US, towns with good, honest people, just like the ones in Horned Toad, who need my help too. I have to be moving on."

"I suppose you're right," he said, "Well, take care of yourself, Mr. Deason. And just remember, if life is ever getting you down, you have a lot of friends in Horned Toad, and you'll always be a most welcomed guest here."

"Life doesn't get me down, Mayor," I said, "Not anymore." And so I shook hands with the mayor and sprinted away, not stopping until I reached home. And that night, I slept sounder than I've ever slept before.




Also, I'm great in bed.