So here's a few photos from my latest modeling shoot.
Killoggs is a decent place to post these, because Killoggs gets a fair enough amount of traffic.
Think about it this way: It goes without saying that my face is pretty unforgettable (emphasis on the 'pretty')
So, while most of the regular readers and posters on this site are rather marginal human beings, odds are that someone important or someone who knows someone important will come across my photos on here.
I once read an interview with a celebrity who said that she always knew she would be famous, and that all celebrities know from an early age that they are destined for fame.
I have definitely always known that I am destined for greatness. A lot of people think that they are, but I can feel that my desire is a lot stronger than theirs.
Anyway, these photos are alright. I don't know if they really reveal my full potential, but I kind of radiate enough energy that it can show through most circumstances.
I am a shy person, as most of you know. I keep to myself. When I walk, I am usually looking down at my feet (which have been photographed by some of the greatest fetish photographers!) I don't even notice all of the men that stop to stare at me when I walk home each day.
Right now, my main goal is to do some work with Paris Hilton. I have a lot of intelligence, and I think that paired up with Paris Hilton's public relation skills, we can really do something great. I am not sure what kind of project just yet. The thing about Paris, as well as myself, is that we are so versatile... music, art, acting, beauty.. we've got what it takes to excel in just about anything. I think once she meets me, we'll establish a mutual admiration.
I know that I don't have the current ideal body for Hollywood and the media. A lot of jealous people focus on that when they see my photos.
Once I hit the scene, I will BE the new ideal.
I appreciate all of the support that Killoggs gives me. I appreciate each and every little fan of mine out there.
I will keep posting updates and new photos as they come. Stay tuned and join me on my journey to stardom!
Don't worry, I won't forget about you guys!
xoxo,
Kara Mae
narry a day passes when i don't overhear "someone" say "wow! that ben really is a genius, don't you think?"
and i certainly do think so!
if i would have to narrow down all of my great qualities into only two (which I'm totally capable of doing because I'm both extremely intelligent and at the same time totally self aware), I would have to say that they would be as follows:
1) I am TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY AWESOME
and
2) at the SAME TIME I'm also TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY HUMBLE
it's true!
...but WAYYYYY more awesome than humble.
when i draw comics, the entire world laughs. it is like GOD is SPEAKING THROUGH ME in the form of humor. Almost like the Bible, but wayy wayyy funnier. And the other enormous volume of artwork I have created (over not that many years I might add) is also quite captivating and inspiring to all those who come in contact with it! It's so cutting edge, and continues to be through the test of time (even though just about anyone who is ANYONE has already seen it)! And although I've receieved a legion of accolades for my accomplishments, I dont think all of the praise really does justice to the essence of my work. I think the majority of people who see my artwork can appreciate it on some level, but most don't understand it.
but that's okay.
not everyone is functioning on my level of thought. i would like to open people's eyes, but i can only do so much. perhaps you are not ready.
I will now allow you to respond to this awe inspiring "mystical window into understanding the human condition" post with your trivial banter. who knows? maybe I'll scan it for my name later!
p.s. I've been reading this book. when you read it, you'll agree.
Reading Kara and Ben's posts reminded me of a few things ... like how lucky I am to have such great friends. I mean, a lessor person might feel insecure when surrounded by such beauty and greatness. But not me! Of course, it helps a lot that I am talented in my own right. And honestly, it's like our strengths just complement each other. For instance, Ben's drawings just get that much funnier when paired with my writing. In the same way, when I write about Kara, I can convey how beautiful she is better than any photos ever could.
Knowing these guys has been really wonderful for my journalism career, which is obviously destined for greatness. And even that is just a stepping stone. By the time I am 40, my novels will surely be on the New York Times bestseller list and a key part of the curriculum of every college literature class. Would-be-intellectual teenagers will be naming their pets after me. I'll know I've made it when my picture is on the cover of People.
but I only started taking pictures like a year and a half ago or something. yup. i'm clearly very talented. is it a gift? i don't know! i don't question it. it just IS! i'm thankful that j_ _ _ (name witheld) recognized my own special genius and invited me to contribute to killoggs in my own special way. and you know what? like ben and mary and kara and j_ __ _ (name witheld)... I'm awesome too!
In November I went to a benefit concert because I made a donation to the Circle of Life Foundation, which is Julia Butterfly Hill's special group of cool people.
It was great but the best thing was going in the VIP section which my friends were not allowed to go to but I smuggled my brother in. We had the whole upstairs balcony to ourselves almost! And there was great music, but the best thing is that the whole event was sustainable and environmental in a way that you can't do on the east coast.
You could never run a whole concert on windpower and biodiesel on the east coast, because out here is where the people are who know how to do things like that and care about it too like me.
The other best thing!
I took this photo of Boots Riley and the Coop, in the style of the gameboy film I told Ben how to make once upon a time. It's grainy which makes you think of natural things like how the west coast is natural and excellent, but you might have a hard time understanding that if you don't live here.
I made up the name Cecil Seaside. Isn't it like the best fucking pseudonym ever? Most of you have never met me and so have no idea how deeply talented I am.
First of all, I got my Killoggs head without even trying, without even wanting one. When I met Ben, he just could tell how cool I was. And, as you can read for yourself, all my posts are stellar expressions of comedy and insight that can only come from a deeply intelligent and wise individual. I'm an "old soul" you might say.
I'm a really great writer and it's totally natural because I only took 2-3 writing classes in college as electives. I hardly even read books and I rarely finish the ones I start! My degree is in FINE ART. I went to art school where general education is a joke. But to get into the Art Center College of Design in Pasadena, you have to be extremely talented. And I only went there for 3 years because they let me SKIP the first year, I'm that good. Painting, photography, filmmaking, you name it, I can do it all. As some of you know, some of my work was used in the famous movie Teenage Caveman directed by famous artist Larry Clark. But anyway, I don't know WHERE this talent for writing comes from, ha ha, I'm just smart I guess. Everything I write is really more like a work of art than a "story" or a "post". It means what it means but what I write is always loaded with many levels of complexity. I'm really a genius in knowing how to say one thing but meaning 5-6 other things at the SAME TIME. You really need to spend some time with my work and you have to DO work to really get it, but I like to let my audience bring their own perspective and interpretation to it. That's what COMPLETES it really.
Now, I am a graphic designer for a living but I am COLOR BLIND. It's true. I use my vast knowledge of color theory and pretty much a 6th sense of what is beautiful to make impeccable color choices. My last project was a book called Edward Weston: Life Work which is available on amazon. It's like a $200 book so, it's fucking AMAZING.
I'm a musician too. Yes, I play piano. But you know, that's just a hobby. It's not something I like to flaunt or anything.
Also, I lost my virginity on my 14th birthday with a girlfriend who I was with for most of high school. So by the time I was 18 I'd had sex about 1000 times. Now that's experience. Ever since then I have been what you might call a serial monogamist, just long term relationships for me. That means I've had a lot of quality time to try out a lot of things over my 20 year sexual history.
Also, when I was 11 and 12 I took improvisational acting classes. I was totally the best one of the group. So good that the director put me in the adult company. Unfortunately, on my first day with the adults I just froze up and couldn't do a thing. I never tried acting again. I was crushed but I think that's part of why I'm so sensitive and insightful. Those traumatic experiences can turn into beauty.
And look at me. What else can you say but, Handsome Devil?
I'm sorry this post is so long, there's just too much good stuff about me. ;D
All of my friends think so! When I say friends, I mean all them peoples that I met on the internets are like totally included. They are like my bestest friends in the world... I wouldn't be anywhere without mah peepz from LJ, various blogs, Fark, SA and of course (duh) Killoggs. But it was ME who do it all. I MADE ME WHO I AM TODAY.
Who says you can't have a life online? I am an INTERNET CELEBRITY, man. What do you mean you haven't heard of me? My photoshop skillz whup yours any day. Not like my copy of Photoshop is legal, but hell, who can hold back skillz like these?
Fuck all the RL hatahs. Who needs to talk to people in the flesh when you can IM and post at your own leisure, in the comfort of your own home, in your PAJAMAS! And you can do it ALL DAY, lose track of what time it is, stay up all night, drinkin' coffee (that I must add, I bought whole bean, cos Taster's Choice is SHIT).
You know that geeks will inherit the earth. And I will lead. It will be like the Matrix, but totally (HELLA) better. You're gonna have to take my word for it.
When I noticed all these people posting these [very true] statements about how absolutely astounding they are, I couldn't help but join in the fun - because it's time I let the whole world know how much I appreciate.. myself.
It's just kind of a wonderful feeling to sit back, and think "whoa, if I were someone else, I'd be sooo jealous of she who is Angie"
I'd say for being as young as I am, I've got myself a pretty good deal of experiences and stories and I firmly believe it's all because of my looks, and I'm expecting them to continue getting my farther and farther in life.
But hey strangers, just because I know these things - don't quit coming up to me and telling me "hey.. you're really pretty... are you a model?" because I'll never quit being flattered.
Thank heavens for being a hot carpio. [Theres two of us. What lucky girls we are!]
Today, while driving home from class among the plebeian hoards on the Leo Frigo Memorial Bridge, I took the time to survey the wondrous expanse of land and water unfurling itself around me and sinking into the horizons. I breathed a knowing, satisfied sigh. I have always known that one day--very soon--this will all be mine.
Ever since I was child, I knew that I was destined to wield supreme power over all other living beings. I mean, why else would I have been given such a superior intellect, innate sense of fairness, and saintly compassion for beings who (by all logic and reason) are hardly worthy of laying before me on the squalid earth so that I might momentarily grace their puny lives by treading upon their insignificant corpses?
I am so beautiful and so wise. There is little doubt that I was lovingly, painstakingly sculpted by the hand of God and placed among His wretched, wayward creations to show them the ultimate perfection that they spend their miserable lives hopelessly struggling to achieve, and direct them to the path of righteousness through my own unblighted example. Without me, they are like beached fish pathetically flopping in the scorched sand; so frantic to find water that they foolishly expend their last morsels of energy moving nowhere and dying bloated and gagging in the relentless sun. I am the tide that clenches them in my watery arms and delivers them to water.
Of course, for my provision of absolute contentment and a universally successful Utopian world, I expect certain perks. For instance, I expect many odes to be written to me, attesting my various glories so that all corners of my earthly domain might know the omnipotent splendor of Amanda. I would also demand the offering of 27 (my favourite number!) verified virgins each day, so that I might bathe in their pure, saliferous, life-sustaining blood and know the all-consuming, sacrificial devotion of my subjects. They will love me so that they will offer me the lives of their sons and daughters as a measure of gratitude for my all-around greatness.
That is the future. I am certain that, now that you know the perfect world of unending happiness that awaits you in the foreseeable future, you are growing impatient for the imminent day when I will assume my rightful place as your all-powerful overlord. Though that day fast approaches, I must also be patient and first complete my attainment of absolute awesomeness. We all know how awesome I am right now, but I can feel more and more awesomeness being added everyday. Until I finally max my awesome metre out, I must wait to take my place at the throne of the world. Until then, the fact that you even know someone so awesome will have to suffice.
Okay, so plenty of people hold day jobs while they secretly moonlight as bartenders at dive bars and have dyed hair and great clothes, but did they also get 1410 on their SATs? I DON'T THINK SO! Every time I'm in a group of friends and we're all trying to figure out which characters we'd be if our group was the Seinfeld cast, I'm ALWAYS Jerry. Hands down. It's unanimous.
One of the greatest things about being me is that most of my friends have some kind of favorite quote of mine that they remember... like, from years ago. And when we're all sitting around drinking and making fun of each other, it often comes up: "Oh man, the funniest thing I ever heard was that time in 1997 when Chris walked in with that tire iron and Julie said..." and they have it committed to memory, and it's even funnier in the re-telling than it was when I first let it fly, if that's even possible. And the best part is, I usually don't even remember having said it! Because that's just how funny and clever and quotable I am, ALL THE TIME.
Okay, I wasn't going to post today because really, I have much better things to do. Besides everyone knows how dead sexy I am and how I have the best taste in music and know all there is to know about movies. But since I got bored from looking at statuesque body in the mirror I thought I'd bless all you fellow Killoggers who are cool in your own right but just aren't fortunate enough to be me with some facts that you may not have know about me.
1. I wrote the screenplay for both Kill Bill movies.
2. I actually invented the iPod.
3. I've written about 99.9% of OutKast's songs.
4. When I use the bathroom I have to stand several feet away from the urinal/toilet.
5. Know one can beat me at Super Tecmo Bowl.
6. HBO's The Sopranos? My idea.
7. I've never lost a thumb-wrestling match.
8. The color perrywinkle blue, I invented that too.
9. Everyday I have to refuse calls from every NBA team asking me to be their head coach.
10. I've actually cloned each and every member of Killoggs just in case some non-heads get jealous or our collective brilliance and try to bump one of us off.
Oh! And you can all thank me for allowing you to get to know me!
