Have you ever snorkeled? I finally have embraced this big Pacific Ocean and I love it so much. It's sort of a wierd natural high because of the body bouyancy.
Anyhow, Max and I took Ben out this afternoon, and we saw a four foot sand shark swim closely by us. I know this animal is harmless, and I still continued to hear the "da da.. DA DA.... DUH DUH..." Jaws theme song play in my head.
I also saw John Malcavich sitting on the beach with a family.
So this is probably the best damn Monday I could possibly have.
...I don't know, I guess I was inspired by Kate's post about Justin Timberpunk and Cameron Diaz and I don't know if this has been done before but what the hey. Top 5 Celebrity Crushes:
My friends in the band THE CATALYST are bumming around the west coast without any shows for several days as a result of shows falling through at the last minute.
If you know of any place on the west coast they might be able to get a last minute show, if you want to let them know about cool places to go, if you want to go get a beer with them, if you want to let them crash on your floor, if you want to just chat with them... PLEASE DO. They are from my side of the country, very far from home, so, seriously - even just letting them know of cool/cheap things to do would be awesome.
I vouch for these people! They rule!
(Email Eric from the Catalyst at thecatalyst666 AT hotmail DOT com or contact me for his cell #)
I thought I'd introduce myself through a poll...
I have the biggest crush of all on this website,
and I talked with Ben last week about how, with killoggs,
we almost never check any other webcontent at all,
and so I wondered:
I have the next two days off, and I'll be spending them with my parents. I haven't seen them since August or September, but I'm sure it will only be a nice time. I'm just not very excited about it. In fact I rarely get excited about or inspired by anything anymore, and I don't really know what to attribute it to -- it really disturbs me. There are things I would like to do that I just don't have the money for. And feeling like I need more money to be happy and secure makes me feel very disconnected and uncreative. Then again I don't really know too many people on a poverty-level income living the good life. I'm not so worried about finding a job that pays an actual living wage anymore -- I think I'm finally well on my way -- but it will still be awhile. At any rate, regardless of how much a little extra money in the bank will help, I know that I can't blame my unhappiness on that. Doing that only gives me an excuse to be lazy. I'm a creative person, or at least I was at one time, and I'm pretty smart, so why haven't I figured something out for myself? I know that I can't really feel sorry for myself if I'm just lazy, but I also don't see the point in doing something if my heart's not in it.
Example: I recently completed two paintings, the only two paintings I've completed in quite some time. I just decided that I should start painting again, because while I've never been prolific enough to call myself an artist, painting, drawing and the like are something in which I've demonstrated remarkable skill. Painting the two paintings was only mildly pleasurable for me, and now that they're completed, I look at them and say, "So what?" I'm still skilled terms of rendering, but the paintings just aren't very interesting to look at. They lack style. But should I just shrug it off and listlessly continue painting, hoping that a muse will fall from the sky? I don't think so. I really do feel like time is running out for me in a lot of ways. Most of my close friends think I'm silly for feeling this way, but I feel like I need to make a name for myself very soon or I'll fall into utter obscurity and be forgotten.
I'm sorry if reading this is tiresome -- I guess I've made posts like this before -- but I just can't escape those feelings. Maybe I just need to go on a vacation. I feel like I've still experienced so very little, relative to most other people my age. And maybe that's the key to getting excited about life again: just getting out of this horrible rut that I've been stuck in for awhile and experiencing some new things, maybe even getting a little inspired to do something new myself. But it does cost money to drop everything and roam around for awhile, and I don't know while I'll be able to afford to do that. It's too bad I can't get excited closer to home. I'm open to advice.
I need to quit buying clothes that I only wear a few times. Every couple of months, I gather new piles of clothes to give away. Maybe I should just quit buying clothes altogether which will then force me to wear what I already own. Right now, I'm wearing a wifebeater and a plaid skirt. It's very 5th grade schoolteacher meets white trash redneck. except this wifebeater was purchased at express, which isn't really white trash at all. more like trendy-fashionista-psuedo-white trash. what white trash would be if fashion sense was involved. back to the plaid skirt. i bought it on the $5 rack at funky monkey. the elastic band was too thick so i cut it in half, relieving me of a pinched waist which also gave me the appearance of love handles. although you can't really appear to have love handles. you just do. so i guess i just had love handles. fuck off to that. the skirt is long and flowy which makes it fun to walk around. i like the feel of light cotton on my skin. it feels something like good. on my feet are flip flops. brown ones. and that's all about them. my feet could use a good scrubbing. dirty feet would not be appropriate for a schoolteacher but very appropriate for white trash so i'm kinda stuck between a rock and a hard place on this one. i could polish my toenails with a pretty color but that would require a lobotomy on my part. and i'm not talking about surgery here. i'm talking about clothes. well, now i'm talking about nailpolish. i find the concept of nailpolish very confusing. do you pick colors based on an outfit? when does mauve peachy pink look good with an outfit? not very often, in my opinion. i remember when the baby blue, pale green, light yellow nailpolish color craze happened. i think i was in 9th grade. the really f-ed up part is that i had mixed a few drops of regular blue polish in a bottle of white polish. and what the fudge do you think it made? light blue nail polish. i was so proud of myself. then i saw it on mtv. i think alicia silverstone was wearing it. i felt cheated. every emotion i've felt since then has been somewhat similar.
I'm currently reading a book. And I can't stop. Seriously. I've started reading it as I walk to the train, while I'm on the train, when I get off the train, on the elevator. At work I've been secreting it under my shirt when I go to the bathroom. My bosses probably think I have bowl problems. I've also taken to hiding it under my desk when things are slow or if they leave the office for any reason or if I notice that they are both on the phone. I read it in bed until I fall asleep from exhaustion.
And it's a long book.
Has anyone else had this happen? Or am I just a big book nerd?
