McMandroid2000: I had to go to my friend's boyfriend's funeral right after I got home today.
McMandroid2000: I haven't been to a funeral in years, and it's messing with my thoughts. I seriously can't sleep.
Bendependent: jeez. that sucks
McMandroid2000: yeah. it was pretty much: off the plane, call my ride, "hey, you have to come to this funeral," shower, funeral, lots of depressingness. It's not the way I wanted to top off my vacation in the least.
McMandroid2000: actually, after sitting through the ceremony, I want to make sure I either write down or tell someone my funeral ceremony requests.
McMandroid2000: the preacher was entirely batty.
Bendependent: haha
McMandroid2000: I think I want 5 kegs and an open bar.
McMandroid2000: brandy alexanders all around, too.
McMandroid2000: I want totally stupid and meaningless music.
McMandroid2000: oh! and karaoke.
McMandroid2000: then I want my body to be cut up into little bits and fed to an aquarium tank of sharks.

It was a Tuesday night, and I was sitting at the bar. I was staring down into my beer, which was half empty.
This girl Nat came up to me and talked for a few minutes. She gave me some Percusets, which I put into my pocket for later. Does she want to fuck me or something? I don't know, but whatever,
A few more beers went by, and I hadn't spoken a word with anyone for quite some time. I don't know if that was good or bad.
Anyway, God walked in the door and sat next to me.
"You shouldn't be drinking! Its bad for your health!" God said.
Being that it was God and all, I obeyed.
I asked something like "to what do I owe this privilege," but I probably sounded less sarcastic.
"It's the funniest thing!" said God.
I paused and stared, and looked at my beer from the corner of my eye.
"You are having a vision! Can you believe that?"
This sounded pretty cool to me.
"Come on, I am going to tell you all about myself. We'll hang for awhile, and then you will have a moment of clarity, be touched by Grace, and love me forever."
I followed God somewhere, either down the street, or into the sky maybe, I can't remember now. I must have been thinking about something or something.
Well, God showed me a lot of stuff. God showed me a kitchen full of shiny and elaborate appliances. "Just check out my wardrobe," God said, while showing me a closet of leisure suits, "isn't it totally fabulous?"
"Are you hungry - because I can get you anything. Anything!"
I wasn't really hungry. I was bored. I got a slice of watermelon. I wanted to ask for a Yuengling.
God and I had a long talk. I asked a pretty important question. I asked God, "okay, so whats the meaning of all this and whatnot?"
"Oh man," God replied. "well you're going to love this one. Its all a big joke! Jokes on you! Haha, isn't that haaalarious?"
I politely chuckled.
God took me home and waved goodbye. "I'm so glad that you will love me now! We are going to have good times. I promise. I'll be back sometime I swear!" It didn't sound so sincere.
I had a choice at that moment: Whether to duck back inside where I came from and drink until 3am, or to step into this church right next door that I had never noticed before for some reason.
When I got inside, the bartender had already emptied the last of my beer. How annoying.
Just like everyone else I've ever met, God was a disappointment.

Today for lunch, I skipped out on work and went to a place called BBQ with my good friend, Maryann. We each had the 1/4lb burger lunch special and a "Texas-Sized" margarita. Maryann had a Pina Colada, actually, and I had a Strawberry Margarita. We were gone for about two hours, and it was pretty fun. I totally recommend blowing off work this time of year and taking an extra long lunch.

20oz Strawberry Margarita...... $3.50
1/4lb Burger and potato............ $4.50

Total w/ tip ............................... $10.00

Spending time with my good friend, Maryann..... Priceless

Date: Fri, 2 Jul 2004
From: Stephanie _____
To: josh@_________
Subject: Make our dream come true

Hello,

My name is Stephanie Garza. Im 13years old but as young as i am im proud 2 say that ive made a music group. Even though we sing songs of artists we make our own lyrics but no sound. Even though we have it in our head how its gonna be. Ive been searching for someone to take us as artists. That's our dream and we would be happy if lava records made our dream come true.We like Uncle Krackers songs. I really haddn't thought about searching for someone to take us. Until we heard on uncle Kracker's (Double Wide) intro. It inspired me and the rest of the team to search. Now id like to get a response if possible. And if you could make our dream come true we'd be so happy. Thank you

Love Always,
Flirty and the UK's

Maybe the second best, actually, but this shit is amazing.

[23:47] (notme): ugh i think the leftovers i'm eating went bad
[23:47] NucklehedEd: Eeep!
[23:47] NucklehedEd: That's not a good thing.
[23:47] (notme): yeah
[23:48] (notme): i'm still eating tho. HUNGRY and there's nothing else
[23:48] NucklehedEd: No crackers? Peanut butter? Stale pretzels? There's gotta be SOMETHING.
[23:48] (notme): NOTHING.
[23:48] (notme): i'm at my bf's place.
[23:48] (notme): and he's away for the summer.
[23:48] (notme): so he has nothing
[23:48] NucklehedEd: Tell that focker to go get you something. YOU HAVE THE VAGINA!!
[23:48] (notme): and i have nothing--only my leftovers, which taste winey.
[23:49] (notme): HA HA HA
[23:49] (notme): that's good ;)
[23:49] (notme): he's in DC, so i think it'd be a little cold by the time it got here ;) he's flying up for the weekend tomorrow, though. hooray!
[23:50] NucklehedEd: Any man will quail when presented with Ben's version of Cecil's chart. "This is the part that doesn't love you any more." HAHAHA!
[23:50] (notme): HA HA HA
23:50] NucklehedEd: Ahh. Yeah, probably wouldn't work.
[23:50] (notme): that was the BEST. the weird thing was tho
[23:50] (notme): that's actually what i thought of when i saw that red intersection ;) it's just the right shape!!!
[23:51] NucklehedEd: HAHAHA! No offense, but I hope I never see you nekkid.
[23:51] NucklehedEd: WAY too many sharp angles.
[23:51] (notme): hahahahahahahahaha
[23:51] (notme): OK
[23:52] (notme): well maybe not *that* much like the drawing....
[23:52] (notme): i come armed with a beak to bite off men's dicks...
[23:52] (notme): ok that was pretty out there.
[23:52] NucklehedEd: Uh... yes. Yes, it was.

So my band just got back from a show in West Chester, PA. Not too bad. The kid doing the show was cool and it was a new cafe that just started doing shows and everyone was courteous and nice. A change of pace from the usual douches we end up working with.

Oh yea, during the set, our singer wa sweating up on a lot of people and getting up in their mix. Most didn't appreciate it. At one point he bit some dude in the ankle and got kicked. A few hours from now he will be at his straight job as a school teacher. Punk rock dudes!

After we got home and loaded the gear at our space we found a bunch of office supplies some place by us threw out. There was an old typewriter in the trash as well. I destroyed it with some random drunk girl that happened to be walking by. She told me my throw was "wussy" and then she picks this thing up and slams it against the building. Pretty intense. I should've gotten her number but she just ran off after throwing it.

How was everyone else's Thursday night?