From Margaret Cho's blog, http://www.margaretcho.com/blog/blog.htm.
(No, as a matter of fact, I DON'T know how to post a link.)

"Omni Hotels stopped payment on the check. I said I would not accept their money after they turned the microphone off after a few minutes of my performance. ...

"I am sad this corporation has no dignity, that they just have to be petty about what was their 'mistake' to begin with. If they wanted to have no controversy, no 'message,' no meaningful entertainment, why the hell tap me? If they didn't know who I was, then that was their fault. If you hire 2LiveCrew for your daughter's confirmation party by accident, you still have to pay them even if you unplug the sound system during 'Me So Horny.' "

I always feel like I am a very ugly girl hiding behind the face of an attractive girl.

here's a fun little bit from my friend Daniel's myspace blog. he works the night shift at a kinko's, which means he babysits all the bums and creepy perverts of springfield VA.

"Total high point of the day: Black dude in a suit shouts at me across the room "fax?!" I gape. "Fax machine?!" He seems somewhat exasperated. "Is this the fax?" He's tapping on a cabinet while he speaks. He thinks the cabinet sends faxes. No joke; a big, clunky, old cabinet with "White Paper 11X17" written on the front. The homeless woman circulates as well, muttering gibberish. "

so i'm in the middle of this job hunt. i was expecting to just get my old job back, but they weren't too excited about the idea. it's true that i've already quit the place three times, but hey, i can only take a job as seriously as a job takes me. when we were younger, we would all talk about "careers" and shit, but i can see now how that was sort of a collective fantasy. in this case, more than ever, i see a job as something that prevents me from doing what i really want to do. unfortunately, my lack of funds makes it necessary for me to go prostitute myself out there.

in some ways, daniel has a very clear worldview. he considers time and money to be interchangeable. he gives his job time, he gives other activities time, and money handed out. like everybody who works for an hourly wage, he's angry because his time is not worth quite what it should be.

he thinks employers are blood-sucking monsters, devouring your life one shift at a time. taking you away from your chosen interests. i have to agree.

he calls people that waste his time "Time Vampires."

cigarettes and livejournals. thanks, the internet. where you can buy slightly discounted cigarettes from what i assume to be an unsavory matriarchal co-operative in north dakota, or familiarize yourself with the workplace antics and menstrual flows of very pretty girls with lj names like "xgodxlovesxuglyx" or "suckyfucky". its so awesome

but seriously, lotr slash. i think i am most thankful for all the slash.

slash can get me feeling like a real perv, and not by its content, but when i am like, disappointed. take "captured by uruks", written by a man known simply as "goblinarcher93". this literary gem takes place during the uruk-hai's jog from parth galen to isengard. it is rated R for "non-consensual groping", so i should've known better than to waste my time reading this flowery love letter from one gay hobbit to another. so a well-oiled uruk-hai in a crust vest makes out with pippin. shit like this happens everyday, just not with fantastic races and beings. if i wanted to watch people cheat on their boyfriends, i'd go to hollertronix.

but back to livejournals. i am going to get bored, and i am going to see what lj communities you are a member of. if you are a member of alternativslash (operating on the terrifyingly sexy premise of what if the girl from AFI ate out brody from the distillers), you should really get creative and post more often because there are like three entries in this community. what a joke!

we can all break into the online sex industry in our own ways. kara is remarkably photogenic and has great tits, and has a sexy website all about it. carla is real innocently cute and would make a great adult baby. i think i could write some really top-notch slash, i have watched so much television today and i cannot think of anything better to do.

I was almost too embarassed to mention it.
I can imagine the looks on the faces of my readers. Carla is shocked and writes a text message for further details, Ben smirks, Chris X is annoyed and glad we're no longer dating, Sonny kind of understands, Josh thinks I'm weird.

So...

I got a 40 dollar parking ticket.
And then another.
I'm waiting for my change of address to come in the mail so that I can get my parking permit.
Instead of another 40 dollar ticket, I decided to drive to the parking garage by my work and pay 15 dollars to keep it down there for today.
As I spiraled down under the ground into the damp musty corridors of the garage, an amazing thing came into my view...

MY OLD CAR!!!

The plastic bag window, the racing stripe, the rust, dragging tailpipe, and stickers were all there, covered in months worth of dust, abandoned and lonely. My heart jumped at the shameful sight of my neglected little Volkswagen.
I didn't get near it. My heart was racing as I ran into my office building. I tried to remember the scenario of a January morning when I had driven to work. Why? Why did I drive?
Was I coming home from someone's house? No. I remember the lack of sex in January all too well.
If I couldn't remember these details throughout the grueling winter months of 2004, I won't remember them today.
Well now what? I calculate that it will cost me approximately 1900 dollars to pay for the cumulative storage of my car.
And so, I decided to leave it behind.
I'm sorry, car. For what its worth, you treated me poorly. I am in a serious commitment with a new car now.
When I walk out of the office today, I am going to drive nonchalantly past 'Bessie." I am never going to park in that garage again.
Some day, the cops will call me, and tell me that my "stolen" car has been recovered.
I will act surprised. I will go pick it up, and sell the parts, and put Bessie into the past for good.

It was a birthday gift
of a Mexican Telecaster
And from this day on I will play along
to all my young pioneers records
And there will be a poetry spoken silently between me and the stereo
I'll work mornings
and you can work through the night
Mary, there is no hope for us
If this GM van don't make it
across the state line
we might as well lay down and die
Because if Florida takes us
we're taking everyone down with us
Where we're coming from (yeah)
will be the death us
And I cannot help but hold on
to a handful of times
when what was spoken
was a revolution in itself,
and what we were doing
was the only thing that mattered
And how good it felt
to kill the memory of nights spent
holding your shirt for the smell
I heard you used to cry
when you made love to him
but this band will play on
Because all we can do is what we've always done. And on and on and on...
Mary, there is no hope for us
If this GM van don't make it
across the state line
we might as well lay down and die
Because if Florida takes us
we're taking everyone down with us
Where we're coming from (yeah)
will be the death us
-Against Me!, "We Laugh At Danger (And Break All The Rules)

I like this song, it reminds me of how I felt when I was a little younger, and how much I hated living in the town I grew up in. It reminded me to be grateful that I got out, and am living the life I want to live, doing the things I want to do, with friends that matter, surrounded by people I care about.

I'm lucky.