Killoggs : takes the shape of whatever container it's sitting in

I just got back from a business trip to Biloxi where I was supposed to be staying at the President Hotel (and casino). I only stayed one night instead of two because of the following nightmare:

1) I went to front desk to check in and no one was there, no people in the lobby, no bellman, no one at the front desk. We stood there for a minute before saying "Hello? Hello?". A voice from the back office yells. " I'll be there in a minute!". The person in the back office is on the phone. I wait about 5 minutes for the person to get off the phone. The lady finally come up to the desk after about 5 minutes and looks for my reservation. They can't find it because its been spelled Klassen instead of Claassen. She then advises me that I am in the "other" building and that I need to check in there. She tells me its right next door. I drive next door to find myself at a mausoleum. Next to the mausoleum is the "other building".

2) We walk in to the "other" building to find it just as desolate as the first building, no bellman, no security, but darker and with someone at the front desk. The lady at the desk is in her 60's, has collar length curly brown hair, glasses, and the phoniest grin I have ever seen. She seemed like a nice lady who had an alien take over her body to make her spooky. Here is the conversation at the front desk:
Me:" I need to check in- my last name is Claassen but I think you have it spelled Klassen"
Robot:: "Yes, I have your reservation here, for a king bed non smoking?
Me: "Acutally, I would like a room with 2 queens if you have it".
Robot: "Sorry ma'am but we don't have 2 queen size beds in this hotel"
Me: "So all you have is rooms with a king size bed?"
Robot: "No, we have rooms with 2 double beds."
Me: "Thats fine! I just need 2 beds. I don't want to sleep in the same bed with my mom."
So I give her my credit card, sign the check in card verifying a $60.00 rate, and she gives me the keys...
Robot: "That'll be room 414." (with a big shit eaten grin and no explanation of how to get there)
Me: "Can you tell me where that is?"
Robot: "Sure, turn left around this corner and take the elevators to the 4th floor."

I make my way toward the room through a dimly lit hallway and realize that its dimly lit because there are stains all over the carpet. I get to my room which also has stains all over the carpet, no clock, and is also a smoking room (which really doesn't bother me but I thought it would bother mom, and the robot also never told me this when I checked in.)
So I call::
Robot: "Front desk, this is Randy."
Me: "Hi, we just checked into 414 and I was wondering if you have a room thats non-smoking with 2 beds?"
Robot: "Why, does it stink?" (as if taking pleasure in this)
Me: "Yeah, it sorta does."
Robot:" Well, I don't have any non-smoking rooms with 2 beds but I do have room 416."
Me: " Is 416 non-smoking?"
Robot: "No, its smoking, I don't have any rooms that are non-smoking."
Me: "Nevermind".

3) So Mom gets thirsty but I suggest going down to check out the pool first then hitting the vending machines. The pool is under construction and had obviously not been cleaned in a few days. We go to the vending machine outside the lobby and its out of order. Mom asks the robot where the next vending machine is and it says "We have vending machines on every floor, but they only take quarters." So we go to the 4th floor- it takes the quarters alright, no drinks though. I go to the 5th and I press bottled water and it gives me pepsi. Just for kicks I go to the 8th floor and finally was able to get water.

4) I waited til the next shift to ask for a wake-up call because I was through talking to Robot Randy. I walk up to the desk and ask the night agent if there is supposed to be an alarm clock in the room. He says no so I asked very nicely for a wake-up call at 6:30am.
I get back to my room and realize there is also no hairdryer or iron in the room. I call the operator:
Me: "Do you all have hair dryers and irons available for use"
Agent: "Yes, we sure do."
Me: "Great!.. if I need one, who do I need to ask?".
Agent: "You would ask me."
Me: "Great!.. I would like a hair dryer and iron brought to my room about 6:30am."
Agent: "Oh, well, you would need to call back at 6:30am"
Me: "Do you ever run out of hairdryers."
Agent: "No, we have an unlimited supply".
Me: " Ok, thanks."

Next morning: I get no wake up call. Thankfully mom woke me up. I called to get a hairdryer and iron brought to the room and the morning front desk agent says "Okay, we'll bring them to you if they're available". Luckily they were available or I would've had to show up late to my meeting with wet hair and wrinkled clothes. I asked to speak with a manager and I got transferred to a voicemail. I left a message asking the manager to call me as soon as possible but decided that I couldn't spend another night in the hotel.

5) I walk to the front desk to check out and see an old lady by the door asking if there is someone who can help her with her luggage. I felt bad for her because she was just at the beginning of her nightmare. There was still no bellman.

So I tell the new morning front desk agent that I needed to check out a day early. The agent prints the receipt and asks me to sign at the bottom. The rate is now $70.00....
Me: "This isn't the rate that you have on the card in front of you that I signed at check-in".
Agent: "The reason your rate is $70.00 is that you had an ocean view room."
Me: "I didn't ask for an ocean view room! I asked for a room with 2 beds and this is what Randy gave me. Can't you see that it says $60.00 on the card I signed at check in!"
Agent: "I see that but I can't change the rate."
Me: "This hotel is crazy! IIs there a manager I can speak with?"
Agent: "No, he won't be back until Wednesday but I can give you his card if you want to call him then."
Me: "Okay, but what if I don't sign the bottom of this sheet?"
Agent: "We'll charge the card anyway."

I wrote on the bottom of the sheet "No signature", left and checked in at Casino Magic which was like walking into a ray of sunshine after a dark abyss. I later checked with another attendee at the trade show who had an ocean view room and she said her rate was $60.00, not $70.00.

I plan on forwarding this letter to the "Resident Manager" as it says on the manager of The President Hotel's card (he's obviously not a resident) but since everyone that works there seems to have apple sauce for brains, I will contest the charges with my credit card company.
As it turned out, a few other people from my trade show also checked out early.