Sometimes when I'm lying awake at night trying to fall asleep I am seized with the intense desire to cut out my own tongue. The only thing that stops me is the fear that even after I cut it off instead of having this loathsome throbbing muscle pushing so hard against my teeth I think I'm gonna choke I'll have a pointy jutty thing falling down the back of my throat.

I just made an awesome ghetto omelette out of what was in my fridge..

cooked:
5 pieces of bacon (in a dash of olive oil with salt, pepper, & rosemary)

once bacon is cooked, remove and add to leftover grease, still cooking at medium heat:
2 large chopped mushrooms
tablespoon diced garlic
handful green olives
handful calamata olives

let cook for about 2 minutes

then add 2 eggs, scrambled
Cook to desired consistency

Then put it all on top of some Pepperidge Farm 9 grain bread to sop up any motherfuckin' grease!

yes it's a little greasy but I'm not HUNGRY ANYMORE!!!

It's too wide to fit into the posting standards, so I'll link today's strip here, but have I ever told you how much I love Boondocks? The current series of Bush courting the black vote is hilarious.

Flannery really loves it when I grab the chunky part of her thigh and squeal "SEXY BEAST"!

What do you love?

Bellies are hot stuff, ab's are ugly.