Can someone PLEASE translate this for me?? [click for bigger version]

I found a small bag at the bottom of my grandfathers army duffle bag with that writing and what appears to be blood splatters all over it. Creepy. I NEED to know what it says.

It will be fun! I think we are gonna give away a turkey!

Milk via Todd:

In a previous post Kiche wrote:

earlier this week i went to the best buy in chelsea and bought the newly released strangers with candy season 1 dvd. a few of the stars of the show were there. so i got my copy signed by amy sedaris, stephen colbert, paul dinello, and roberto gari.

I wonder if his encounter added fuel to the inspiration for the Dallas Observer article There's Strangers, then there are its strange fans.

"When we toured I got to meet a lot of those people, and they're all misfits," says Sedaris, seen of late in fleeting glimpses in such films as Maid in Manhattan and School of Rock. "As my brother says, 'Amy, your fans are ugly,' and I'm like, 'I know.' Jerri Blank's fans are unattractive because she just attracts misfits, so I'm like, great. They can be pretty freaky, but I just love how obsessed they are, in a way, but I'm totally nothing like her. I mean, I've had people come over to interview me, and they're so disappointed in me because I'm nothing like her."

"They're very nice people," Colbert adds. "But I have to say, sometimes when we were on the road with Wigfield [a book the main actors co-wrote], we'd be kind of scared by our fans. The freaky fans. Let me put it this way: I could tell by looking out at the line at the book signings who was a Strangers fan. For me, I could go, 'Strangers, Daily Show, Strangers, Daily Show.' Or, 'Strangers, Daily Show, anything else Amy has done.' They tend to be the ones with the shaved eyebrows.

The article also mentions the most prominent Strangers fansite, www.jerriblank.com, as well as talk about a Strangers movie script the three main actors are writing! The interviewer himself wouldn't be a bad co-author with this brilliant gem:

Jerri Blank creeped out a small, manically devoted segment of a nation that found this woman with a grotesque overbite and shellacked hairdo and fanny-pack thighs simultaneously delightful, hysterical and altogether nauseating--very much like the high school experience itself, at least among those who did not experience the joys of thinly veiled homosexuality called, in some parts, "playing varsity football."