Hi Killoggs.

I saw this thing today, and it made me laugh.

It looks like Ben coulda drawn it.

Ben, you need to make some cool movies like this one.

Yuck. I wish I'd had a bazooka to insure my safe passage through the hordes of testosterone-overloaded male specimens crowding downtown Montreal today. Let's just say that the tourists attracted by the Grand Prix are not quite the same as those attracted by the International Jazz Festival. Think Mardi Gras crowds carrying beer-filled coolers, but comprised mostly of 30+ year-old men of the car-worshipping persuasion, and a few carshow bimbos. Actually, the European tourists were not as bad as the local "Longueuils" (the Québécois translation of mullet-people) and attracted by the event.

Even I, dressed in my pinstripe floods, 3-inch belt, distressed jean jacket, and ankle boots, with my pommade-greasy messy short hair, managed to get hit on a record number of times making my way home from class. And trust me, I am not their type. The yellow subway line to Longueuil was particularly horrendous.

The same way I used to flee LSU campus during football games, I will stay away from downtown this weekend.

Fuck me if I'm an elitist.

I've been neglecting my friends lately, being very non-committal or even breaking plans altogether.

The reason for my decrapitude is that I have been rather restless. No waking moment brings me peace. I know the reason, but I do not always know the solution. I neglect my art to the point where it becomes painful, unbearable. By this I do not mean a physical pain, but some sort of spiritual anguish akin to the furies raking my temples with their claws of brass, a kind of frothing at the mouth and spewing obscenities type of sensation.

It is the not the first time this has happened and I am sure that it will not be the last. Often, such moments precede a new awareness or new creative outburst. The creative process is never linear, at least it isn't for me. Anyway, I have spent the past few evenings drawing, drawing with watercolors and sometimes adding marker before or after. I am working on getting a momentum going. I need to bust out the drawings. Then I will feel like I have accomplished something.

Then I will be able to relax and enjoy myself.