http://www.rubberburner.com/

Hey, you might recall the Star Wars short film I worked on awhile back.


You can get more info here, or just watch it.

Hello. This is Ben with another installment of the stupidity and bad ideas for everyone show. Today I was on the Metro. A lady sat next to me and pulled out a book. It had no jacket, but instead was covered in aluminum foil. "weird," i thought, "this lady must have a problem with accidently microwaving her books." or maybe she puts them in the oven before she leaves the house so that they will stay nice and warm during her ride to work. or maybe she thinks it will keep the elves from fucking on them at night...

got me? i went and got the number of the place selling the castle today. hopefully i can talk them into renting it to me. then i can respond to everyone's rude comments by simply saying "fuck you, dude. i live in a castle."

here are some ideas i've been wanting to do for a while, but never remember to do them:

1) I made some headshots of myself when I was in photography classes. I've been wanting to take them and autograph them and send them to celebrities along with stupid notes that say things like "good luck with your new film" and "great party last week. boy were you drunk..." with the idea that they wouldn't know who the hell I was and get really confused. People do odd things when you confuse them. Who knows what will happen... I want to do it to people like Conan OBrien...

2) Ever since I got my checks made, I've been wanting to send them to people for ridiculous amounts (like 37 cents). I'm about to send one to Yvonne. I have like 500 of them. It's not like I'll ever use them all. I want to send them to some famous people as insults. In the memo blank they will say things like "To: James Hetfield...7 cents...For: the thought of you never putting out another shitty album again" or "To: Actor dude...9 cents...For: your shitty performance in that movie you were in" or "To: Tony Danza... 18 cents....For: being the Boss" or "To: Joe from Facts of Life.... $3.79...For: the grooming costs on your extravagent mullet."

Maybe I'll do them and put them in the zine I will be working on...

I've started working on the cartoon also. I'm throwing away ideas left and right. Hopefully I will settle on something soon. I've got a set of retarded looking characters I want to use, I'm just kinda hating the stories I've come up with. I've also got another project planned with these guys i work with. The idea is to shoot a History Channel style documentary on a made up war that happened between two sets of little green army men... complete with interviews, bad dead guy music, heroes, and shitty films of the war.... I'm not sure if I like that idea that much though either...

Am about to get the contract for the summer job. Will be in California teaching from June 15th til September 1st. Hopefully Josh will be there too....

I just watched the DVD of gladiator. I'd never seen it before. That movie is so dumb. I hated it. I thought it was a horrible piece of garbage. I saw Traffic a few months ago too. I hated it too. I never said anything before cos you guys all seemed to like it, but whoa, what a load of crap. What else? I watched that movie Celebrity and thought it was dumb. I fell asleep during it. I haven't seen anything good since Being John Malkovich....oh yeah and I rented this Judas Priest video that was pretty wicked awesome...

Quintessential Quintet member Hannah flew down to New Orleans from NYC for some Mardi-Gras action. Some random dude took a picture of her (short blue wig) at State Palace, and now she's on www.ravers.org



Don't go to www.raver.com, like I and countless others did: it's a porn site. Hannah hasn't quite made it to porn stardom yet.

Yesterday Meredith turned 23. Amazing. I remember 23 for me was a kind of the final winding down from the craziness that was 21. Today I turn 26, a number that still hasn't impacted me yet. I look at it and watch the past 3 years blur together, thanks to school, work, and the craziest people I knew leaving the state. I come from a family where school required working your butt off to attend, so seeing "26" and myself living at home (poor) again sucks. I guess it still shocks me that I didn't get the first job that was a given and thought I'd find other tech jobs in BR easily, which isn't the case. So I'm going to stop feeling sorry for myself and start a part time job while trying to find my way into Solid Systems before their June hiring spree. Meanwhile I've been using my time getting back up to speed in Solaris, speciality internet services, and Cisco routers. I'm hoping to learn to use my microcontroller programmer to build a few devices with old intel processors and maybe get another 3'x4' painting done. I've also been reading a lot too and am going on a spiritual retreat on the 22nd or around then. Ran into Andy the other night at the Sr. Helen "Dead Man Walking" Prejean's talk at St. Joseph's Academy about the death penalty (a very powerfully gifted and intelligent woman).

I never had problems shopping for gifts before until Meredith's birthday. She's very particular about things like jewelry and decor and whatnot that it's always been a bad idea to even try to enter that world (I don't believe that "the thought counts" is necessarily a reasonable compromise). I remembered her saying she didn't get anything fun for Christmas and how that kind of rubbed her the wrong way, so yep, you guessed it: I got her a model rocket starter kit. Apparently the romantic quality there-in didn't go over too well. I've decided rather than return it, as a birthday gift to myself I'm going to give it to my friend Paul from Sri Lanka. Between work and school, he pretty much has time to burn since it's never easy making a large group of friends in another country. So I'm going to call him up today to maybe get a bite to eat or just visit/give him a pretty souped-up kit with two rockets, a launcher, and all the "not included" stuff included. As laughable as buying this for Meredith might sound, I think I originally did since I don't know her to have a single hobby that she persues in her spare time and I remember the satisfaction I got putting one of these together and watching it work. Hats off to you, Mr. Goddard.

My good buddy Tuan has seen stepped foot into my living space. I'm going to try to lure Josh over next.

i just go out of comps. for those of you who don't know, this is a 4 hour exit exam that they give you before they will give you a masters in library and information science. it took 4 blue books for the exam. this test is in addition to the 2 years or 40 hours of classes you have to take. the funny thing is i don't feel like i've learned anything in the past year and a half or so... i'm fairly positive i passed comps even though i didn't study for it. this is of course assuming one of the three professors who is going to grade my exam doesn't find this page, figure out who i am, and then somehow piece together my writing style to the writing style of the number which is on each of the four blue books that i was given to put on them instead of my name. do you ever wonder if society is somehow working itself backwards?

So, yesterday was my birthday. It actually turned out to be a fairly eventful day in small ways. It started off well, I went to work and did some copy editing, then the graphics designer said, "When you get your time card filled out, I'll sign it" so, cool, I did that, gave her the edits and she had some stuff for me to bring to BR Press "and after that, go home." Really? Go home? "Yup, it's a pretty day, go do something fun for your birthday." Well, hurray. I only worked for an hour. So, I'm thinkin' "Yeah, man, this is going to be an awesome birthday."

So I meet Jeff and we go to the KLSU exec staff meeting because afterwards we're all supposed to go to the Chimes to kind of begin celebrating my birthday. So we go and it ended up being just another excuse to go to the Chimes. I only had five bucks on me and no one even offered to buy me a birthday drink. So I had one pint of Guiness and after Jeff ate, we paid and left. Oh, well.

Then we get home and Jeff gives me my birthday present. Which everyone probably read about below. The model rocket starter kit. I really tried to not hate it. And yes, Jeff, I DO have hobbies that I pursue. Art, for me, is a hobby. Writing stupid sit coms and novels is a hobby. Running I would consider a hobby since I no longer am on a team. Rollerblading is a hobby. Acting is a hobby at the moment because I've already got my degree and I'm not yet being paid for it. Reading is a hobby. I have LOTS of hobbies. But it is the thought that counts and Jeff did put a lot of thought into what he was going to get me. I felt very guilty that I wasn't able to better disguise my dislike for it.

Jeff: Oh, my God, you hate it...
Me: ... No...
Jeff: Oh, God, you REALLY hate it!
Me: ... No... ... I don't HATE it...

Anyway, then Kate calls and she's upset because she has been in a car wreck and won't be able to make it. It was really sad, she was crying and all upset because she doesn't have a car anymore and because she really wanted to come, but she's in New Orleans, so obviously it's not like she can just get a ride.

Teresa asks me to pick up a styrofoam ice chest on my way to her house so people can put beer in it. So I'm going to do that. All of the styrofoam ice chests in Winn Dixie are on top of the frozen foods freezers. So I streeeeeeetch... and I streeeeeeeetch... but I juuuuuust baaaarely can't get them. And no one is around except for this little old lady who is staring blankly at me as if I'm mad. I try to hop, but I still can't reach them. I try to pull a cart full of boxes over and stand on it, but it keeps rolling away. It was so frustrating. I grabbed one of those "Wet Floor" signs and tried to knock one off with it, but the styrofoam was so light that it just pushed them further away from me. Eventually I grabbed one of their price tags and got one down and instantly about ten tall guys began to stroll down the isle. Later Josh broke this ice chest.

The party was pretty good though. Lots of people came in waves. There were never tons of people at one, I think maybe there were like maybe 10 at one time max, but lots of people kept coming in and out and we stayed until about 3am. Josh gave me one of his own Rolling Rocks as a present. Teresa made me a cake in addition to letting me use her house for the festivities. Todd gave me a big bottle of Crown Royal and Kristi gave me a boomerang from Australia which I kept in my pocket the whole night and a shell necklace from the same place. Brandon gave me roses and some bouncey balls. Tomorrow Jeff and I are going to my parents house and they're making us dinner.

I blew out all of the candles at once on my cake, so my wish should come true. Be prepared, therefore, to begin paying homage once I rule the world.

Well, Latin convention is over and I had more fun than my kids did. One example of things that contributed to my general euphoric rush happened when I bought a pretty 16 year at an auction for 15 dollars. My kids were scandalized.
I told the terrified girl that I only wanted one dance and that she didn't have to if she didn't want to. She acquiesed. When the slow song came on I threw her on my shoulders and spun her for about a minute (she had on jeans) then I put her down and thanked her for the lovely time. One of the chaperones asked if I had been drinking. Later I dressed in a chicken suit and harassed all sorts of people, claiming that I was from other schools. The Hilton's security came after me and requested that I leave the other guests alone. Other highlights of the trip include: a Roman banquet I attended glittered-up with a little off the shoulder number, shouting alot about chickens. Drinking the pool water, taking smoke breaks with my students, sleeping. Man did I sleep this weekend! I can't remember the last time I slept this well.

Today this morning, during an awards presentation, Meredith calls. I forgot to turn off my phone, and I forgot which pocket it was in. So it rings and rings, by the time I've gotten to it I've got the embarassed attention of the whole 344 person convention as I meekly clip it open and say, "I'll call you back later", without waiting for a response (they were waiting for me to call names)

Here's Meredith's message presumably left a few seconds later:
(In a slightly pissed tone) "What the Fuck was that?!"

Sorry Meredith, now you know. There's a similar message left on your answering machine, one left before I listened to your message.

Also, I now no longer have a stove, a washing machine, a microwave, a refrigerator, or a dryer. It seems that my esteemed British roomate neglected to tell us that his friend who used to live at our house, who owns all the appliances listed above, wanted them back.

Hi, folks!

I decided that my first post on Killoggs should be one of my patented retarded-annoying-totally irrational animal kingdom conspiracy theories.

Ummm....Boy, sea gulls sure are freaky, eh?


Linus

Well, this past weekend I thought that I would get away for a break before I have to deal with all the work that will be piled on in the next couple of months. So, Tricia, Bear (a sweet 100 pound rockwaller / lab mix) and I took off for a 3 day weekend at Kisatchie Hills Forest between Alexandria and Natchitoches. Kisatchie Hills is supposedly the most rugged area in Louisiana with lots of steep hills and it actually has mesas.

Anyway, we got there but were disappointed because the signs there weren't helpful and all of the scenic views that we found were not so scenic. All we saw at that point was a hilly pine forest with some pretty flowering dogwood trees. So, we camped out Friday night and roasted tofu dogs and vegetables over the fire (yes this is how vegans and vegetarians camp). The next day, we decided to pack up and head to Chicot State Park just outside of Ville Platte. But, before we left, we thought we would go see the Long Leaf Vista and the Kistachie Bayou, which were supposed to be the highlight of Kisatchie. The bayou was basically a fast moving river with actual rapids. I still wonder why they call it a bayou. I thought that bayous were slow moving. Anyway, we hit the vista and climbed up one of the mesas. That was pretty cool, but we were over Kistachie by that time. So, we headed to Chicot.

Chicot was beautiful. All the trees were lush green from the new spring growth and the trails there lead down to the beautiful Lake Chicot. I had been to Chicot many times as a kid, but I hadn't been there in about 15 years. I did some great bird watching and walked along the Louisiana State Aroboretum which is one of the most diverse areas in Louisiana. We camped out in a pretty crowded and noisy area but we made up for it by cooking hobo potatoes (potatoes, carrots, onions wrapped in aluminum foil and placed in the fire).

I got back pretty tired from the travel but definitely refreshed. I think now I can go back to doing work and the city life.

Discussion in Ben's review of Traffic led me to this question:

Do you think that the Drug War is futile? Why or why not?

Those reading this, please respond (everyone is free to respond, not just Killoggs members).

i just got back from a Steak & Egg. While I was eating my massive bowl of grits, I got to thinking about the spoon that I repeatedly put into and then removed from my mouth. Then I started looking at the people next to me. "Screw the Kevin Bacon game, I wonder how many spoons I am away from the freaks sitting next to me," I thought. How many spoons am I away from the homeless man down the block or the guy who played "Grandpa" on the Munsters or Rick Moranis even. I betcha that spoon was also used by the fat lady on the phone who also used a fork at the Diner which was used by Lou Diamond Phillip's mother. She probably then used it to spoon feed Cory Feldman when he fell off of his bike and didn't have the strength to feed himself during that horrible accident he had in third grade. Then, as a teenager, he and the dead singer of Blind Melon reused the spoon to shoot up heroin. My my my, I can't eat here in this filth, with this filthy fifth generation heroin spoon.

I can remember a time when I posted quite regularly. Now my posts are so sporadic that most of them are just updates on my life. This one is no exception. So here's what's going on in my life:

1) Remember the job I posted about, the receptionist position? Well, it was cut very short. It was supposed to be a temp-to-hire, but two days into it, the senior VP decided they wouldn't need another receptionist. I'm considering it a blessing. What the hell was I thinking? I couldn't do that long-term, no way. I'm never subjecting myself to that horrible kind of work again. Which brings myself to the next issue.

2) I fully realize now, how foolish it is to go on subjecting myself to such miserable work in order to hold on to something I really don't need in my location, my car. I'm getting rid of it very soon, because aside from not wanting the financial burden anymore, I really can't afford it, unless I want to be homeless. I'm actually pretty excited to give it up. I'll be able to accept jobs I would actually enjoy, for less pay. I'll also be getting much needed excercise. And I feel like I'll just gain a new appreciation for life in learning to cope without it. I'm supposed to start looking for a mountain bike tomorrow. I'm very excited about that. I haven't owned a bike in such a long time! I think living a bike-dependent life will be a lot more fun in many ways. I think the only time I would really hate not having a car would be on the weekend, when I feel like going over the bridge to hang out in SF. But even then, I can usually get a ride. And there's a 24-hour transbay bus, if I can't. Laundry won't be a problem, because I have facilities in my complex. And groceries won't be a huge problem either, because there's a supermarket just a few blocks from where I live. Yippee!

3) I've started painting my bedroom walls. I can't stand living with white walls anymore. I'm painting my walls two different colors, two adjacent walls one color and the other two another color. I went with a dark red and sort of a reddish brown. I have one wall covered with the red, but it still needs a few more coats. Right now, it looks very much like blood. I'd like my bedroom to be a place I would actually enjoy spending time, a sanctuary, a place where the womens will feel comfortable.

Hey, Ricky, what does this say:

Tibor [20. Mar | 12:15]
Ist auch tatsächlich so. Im Moment laufen wir (die Partykeller und ich) etwas gedämpft durch Berlin und versuchen immernoch verzweifelt eine Wohnung zu finden. Neben mangelnder Zeit auch mangelnde Muße!

Was die Popups angeht, so fände ich es ohne ebenfalls besser. Lieblingslösung wäre die von den Killogs. Nur weiss ich momentan nicht genau, wie ich die hinbekommen soll. Da bräuchte ich doch support. Die aktuelle "Lösungist einfach nur modifizierter Standard.

Hoffe das wird aber noch. War eigentlich für die Graustich-Debatte gedacht, aber die ist ja auch eingeschlafen. Vielleicht ist die Frühjahrsmüdigkeit ja auch auf die anderen Logger übergesprungen!?

This came from this German weblog. I hope it's nice.

Yesterday at the Farm Bureau I got to go out to a strawberry farm. The farmer we interviewed was really nice and kept finding good strawberries for me to eat while we were there. They were SOOOO GOOD!!! Then we said we wanted to buy a few flats for some people back at the office and he just gave us four flats for free! While we were shooting I kept eating strawberries. Then we drove to Ponchatoula to interview the owner of a market about strawberry sales. I ate strawberries all the way there. Then she gave us strawberry t-shirts. I got to take four pints of strawberries home. I gave two of them to Jeff because apparently one was not enough. They are yummy strawberries. It was a good day.

Some one recently asked my opinion about their computer desk. Here was my response:

I use a big ass 8' long, 3' wide heavy ass desk my friend made in his old apartment to use as a skate ramp, then he realized he was 6 foot and the ramp was 4 foot and his ceiling were only 10 foot (or so the story goes).

So then he made into a loft bed, but he left it, because he couldnt get it out
when he moved. So when i moved in, with my girlfriend (who had already moved in actually), it was up for grabs and I claimed it. We managed to get it out when _we_ moved and now it's my computer table. It's awesome because if i need to get behind to mess with any of the cables on any of my computers, i can just get up on the table and walk around, it's so sturdy.

I'm sure you all wanted to know this, too.

Isn't that great? My main focus for posting this (besides clearing out my email box) is to find out if the Desk-As-Skate-Ramp story is true. Give us some insight, Nathan. Also, expect more "dregs of Josh's inbox" posts to be unleashed today...

I would like to congratulate our very own Evan for getting a letter concerning bicyclists into the Reveille. It was well-written & I did not see a single scatological outburst that I sometimes hear when I am in colloquoy with Evan.

I could have added something to that letter though. Once, while I was riding on Highland, a member of the LSUPD told me to get on the sidewalk. I guess he is not aware of the university rule against bicycles on the sidewalk. I guess he had driven a dozen times around Fraternity Row & not seen a single beer can or there had not been any "frisky" boys in the Coates Hall restrooms. Those rent-a-cops lick.

Recently, Clay asked me what was my favorite film. I was stumped. I mean to say that I can think of a few that would be up there: "The Bladerunner," "The Battleship Potemkin," so on but all-time favorite? He suggested what I thought was a legitimate criteria for judging film: repeat-viewing quality. That is to say, one can watch it over & over again. So what are y'all's favorite fims? Please explain why. . . . oh, and no porn selections please.

I just got a $120-cheque from LSU in the mail today. No explanation attached. Anybody else had this happen to them? I'm scared that the second I cash it I'll get a notice saying it was a mistake and LSU wants its money back. In fact I'm starting to think it's all a conspiracy to make money off poor Canadians by having them pay fees to cash a cheque written out in foreign currency from a foreign institution, and then lose some more on the exchange rate (because the CAN$1.00=US$0.63, the lowest since 1998 and going down) and then getting charged more fees getting a money order to refund LSU (LSU won't accept cheques from foreign banks). In short, I stand to lose about CAN$10 + US$120 if I cash this cheque.

Just finished my radio show. Cohosts Taylor and Evan decided not to make it tonight. Thanks guys.

Highlight of show was either : when a guy called to get me to play Misfits "Come Back" for a mix tape he was making for his ex who had moved to Austin; the guy that said "I know this is the punk show, but isn't Pantera kind of punk" and this guy: "Your show is pretty
good, but do you know what would make it better?" "What?" "Henry Rollins'
Liar." "... uh, I'll try to get that on for you, dude."

Fun was had by all. Posted in the response section is the playlist for tonight, if you are interested.

It's kind of ghetto, but here it is.

So, before I left for England, I purchased this computer. For extra insurance for when I returned from the Old World, I also purchased an extended warrenty for about $200. The warrenty guaranteed in writing that if the technicians could not fix your problem over the phone, they would come to YOU and help you out.

Round about when I started dating Jeff (about 3.5 months ago for those counting) the harddrive began making a noise as if loads of tiny men with medeival weapons were pounding on it relentlessly. I remember the moment that it happened because I was IMing Jeff and he said I should take it in right away. Well, everyone who has been reading Killoggs for a while knows that last semester was hell, so it took me a few weeks before I had a chance to call them. When I did, this is what I got:
TECH SUPPORT: Ma'am, how much of your hard disk are you using right now.
ME: I'm not even using half of it. I don't use this computer for much besides word processing and Internet.
TECH SUPPORT: Okay, ma'am, do me a favor, look at the bottom of your screen where the clock displays the time...
ME: Uh, okay...
TECH SUPPORT: How many little pictures do you see there? (Gee are we condescending?)
ME: Um, about seven...
TECH SUPPORT: Well, well, that must be your problem! Your computer is having to load up too many things at start up. You see, all of those little pictures represent the programs...
ME: Yes, I know what the icons are for.
TECH SUPPORT: Okay, well let me tell you how to get rid of some of them...
ME: You don't understand, one of them is just letting me know that my computer is plugged in and not on battery, one of them is my Virus Scan, one is my mouse pad, one is my sound and then there's winamp and AOL.
TECH SUPPORT: Well, that may be what's slowing your computer down.
ME: You're telling me that these icons are making my harddrive make that sound like it's dying?
TECH SUPPORT: Why don't you run scan disk and call us back.

I got lots of that. Finally I got tired of being condescended to and phoned up furious one night and go "Paul" the helpful technician.

ME: No, YOU don't understand.... I KNOW when my harddrive is failing. You have had me run scandisk, you have taken me to the start up options, we have looked at the percentage of free disk space, THIS IS NOT A SOFTWARE ISSUE, I just want to know why my harddrive is making a noise like a spoon caught in a dishwasher disposal!!!!
"PAUL": Okay, ma'am, can you let me hear the noise?
ME: Sure. (I hold the phone up to the computer and let him bear witness to the grating sound created by my harddrive.)
"PAUL": Okay, ma'am, that's not necessarily a bad sound.
ME: What?
"PAUL": Computers make sounds when they get older...
ME: Okay, this is the thing. I KNOW something is wrong with my harddrive. The computer is taking and increasingly long time to boot up, as well as to open any programs and it shuts down when I attempt to multi-task with it in the slightest degree. I want someone to come out here and look at this computer.
"PAUL": Ma'am there is no proof that there is anything wrong with your computer and until we have some...
ME: I paid for an extended warrenty. It runs out in May. What if my computer crashes after May? Am I just out thousands of dollars? Are you going to help me then?
"PAUL": If it's not under warrenty, we cannot help you.

Up yours, Compaq.

So, after a month of the computer being sent off, sent back with a note that it had been refused service although "It has been determined that a valid problem exists that may warrent repair or replacement of your system..." my mom and I got angry and my mom get everything ready for certified letters and attorneys. My mom made one last call and got the head of Compaq repairs who has decided to help us. And in good time as my computer now refuses to boot up without running Scan Disk, which is finding more and more bad sectors. It now takes over half an hour to boot up and at least ten minutes to open any application. I was typing a paper for class on Word, using nothing else and was constantly getting "Disk Write Error" messages on the pretty blue screen. Oh, yeah. I think I'll be getting a new computer soon. Most definately. Hopefully courtesy of Compaq.

I want all Killoggers ( & non-Killoggers too ) to congratulate Heather on her 25th birthday. Actually, it was yesterday but she was not at home when we called. Happy Birthday, Heather!

I was sitting in class today & my professor asked us what the Congo term for an unofficial second marriage was as polygeny is part of traditional Congo culture but that is at odds with Christianity which some Congolese practice. The correct answer was "dieuxeme bureau" ( literally "second office"). I, being the dolt, that I am answered without thinking "menage a trois." Everyone laughed. D'oh!

so I'm back from holland. i was on a dancing tv show there. (www.barclaydanceblend.nl) it was really crazy. a dutch lady recruited me and my girlfriend off the street. i had just bought new orange sunglasses. i'm too lazy to print the pictures i took. school is still school.