Uhh, I'm going to be travelling to the DC in late September! What to do, what to do... Must-sees and other ideas, post 'em here if you would please. Staying in National Harbour area.
I have to comment that I get a big kick out of watching your inane political drama down there. Seriously, the frontrunners for the leadership of the frontrunning party are a white female and a black male. There is a high probability one of them will be president. So what are the criticisms about them? Well, the chick is not chicky enough and the black guy is not all that blacky.
What is this about? I have a suspicion this is part of Bush's legacy, that now people expect their president to be no better than them. And if your president is smarter or more successful than you, he/she is some sort of elitist snob. So you want your female president to talk mostly about what she's wearing, gush about her new shoes, and rate the hunkiness of various world leaders. And your black president should refer to the senate as "my homies", wear a Raiders hat and big gold chains all the time, and joke about how long his penis is.
I know they couldn't afford to do it, but I wish Obama or Clinton would answer one of these topics with a bit of ire. By rating the chickiness and blackiness of the candidates, it really keeps the discussion on the most meaningless of points. It wasn't quite on this point, but I was really happy that Edwards said what he did about not wanting the racist or sexist vote.
Extra point 1: Joe Biden gots balls! I loved when he called out that NRA whacko with his assault weapon "baby". I wish there was more honesty and less pandering as I think he gained more supporters than he alienated with that comment.
Extra point 2: I was actually impressed with CNN for once! I was convinced the Youtube idea was a front that allowed them to ask the candidates silly titillating questions without having to do the asking themselves. But they actually came through with pretty good questions.
Extra point 3: Hillary dropped the ball in the promo Youtube videos. I think her entire thing was anti-Bush, while I think all the other candidates had positive messages. Whoops!
So I guess this is my first real trip into the Bible Belt. I've been to Texas a lot, but they've got nuthin on this place. Nashville. I was having a beer with a guy from Knoxville, talking about business and the Smoky Mountains and stuff and I made the crucial mistake of mentioning the 2 things that concern me about moving to the US: health care and religion's influence on public schools. So much for pleasantries.
Here are some things I learned tonight (from a seemingly intelligent IT guy):
1. When the 10 commandments left public schools, children started shooting each other.
2. There is no evidence that any species has ever altered its DNA over time, through natural selection or any other mechanism.
3. Paleontologists have found the bones of men and dinosaurs together.
4. The bible (old & new) was written by the very people who experienced the events therein.
5. Noah's Ark was found about 2 years ago.
6. The left wing media does not like to report on stories such as "Noah's Ark Discovered Today"
7. The HIV virus passing through a condom is similar in scale to a marble passing through a hula hoop.
8. Articles from the National Enquirer should be used as evidence in a serious discussion.
This experience was bizarre and caught me entirely off-guard. I just take for granted that if someone is clearly intelligent, they will not turn around and tell me that man and dinosaur co-existed! Several times I had to remind myself that this guy wasn't kidding with me. And why do these people get such a beautful state to live in? Note to self: talk about Oracle. Do not go off-topic.
Inspired by the spam topic. Why is it that when I open one of these babies:
There are 2 possible results:
1. The entire concentrated tomato blob slides out in one neat can-shaped semi-solid accompanied by a satisfying slurp sound, leaving a spotless can behind.
2. The damn thing won't move and breaks apart as soon as I start to jiggle it out, with no gratifying sound, and leaving a mess of a can that I'll have to scrape out.
All cans are in the same case, all at room temp, there is apparently no relation to the angle of pour, etc. Post your theories on how to achieve a consistently perfect blob release and I will test in my controlled environment.
I have a similar problem with boiled eggs. Sometimes that membrane under the shell will peel beautifully, other times it will take chunks of egg with it. I have a feeling this one will be easier to solve though.
Why is she thanking them? What did she look like before the transplant?!?
Funny #2
Last night my 3yo son was putting heart-shaped stickers on people's shirts. I asked him what they were for and he replied "If you have a heart on, that means you love somebody."
I need new music. Now. I'm having so much trouble finding some new bands to listen to. Each time I think I'm onto something, I check out an album and it sounds nothing like the first song or two that I'd heard. I thought the Black Eyed Peas would finally do it, and Elephunk is a really great album, but I don't want mellow. I want heart-pounding, blow-your-head-off funk. Maybe I need to compile a Best of George Clinton CD or something. Less electric is great too. Paul Simon used to get the same feeling across with an acoustic (see: 1970's). A full, rich sound, and great rhythm with some changes.
But there must be some modern equivalent. Any ideas? At least half the album should be in the same vein as Retarded. The kind of songs that don't sound right at less than full volume. The kind of songs that make you forget your car has a speedometer.
I am about to get a good night's sleep for the first time in weeks. The last 12 days of my life have been obsessed with deciphering the jumble of 10,000+ database objects that is Oracle Financial Apps. All I wanted was to DTS a list of employees over to my HR database. After a boatload of technical problems, I chased down so many promising leads among the tables, views and packages; all them missing at least one bit of information, causing me to start anew.
So I'm not an artist, I'm not a creative writer, but do you want to see something I created that is truly beautiful to me right now? I'll show it to you...
SELECT * from OPENQUERY
(BETSY,
'select * from
APPS.PER_ASSIGNMENTS_F PAF,
HR.PER_ALL_PEOPLE_F HPF,
HR.HR_ALL_ORGANIZATION_UNITS AOU
WHERE PAF.PERSON_ID = HPF.PERSON_ID AND
PAF.ORGANIZATION_ID = AOU.ORGANIZATION_ID AND
AOU.LOCATION_ID = 46937')
Wow, it all looks so simple and obvious now. Nobody will ever know what I suffered through when they at this code. But I know. And now you know.
I have a few travel information requests, I thought I would post them here collectively. Please offer any advice you can in the comments.
Trip #1: On my way to Austin, TX I get to be in San Francisco from 9:15am until checkin for my next flight at about 1pm. If you had never been to SF before but you had always wanted to go, how would you spend this time? I understand there is a bus from SFO to the Transbay terminal. Is there a better/faster way to get down near Fisherman's Wharf or wherever? Maybe the best way to spend a few hours is just to find a place with a great view and walk around, go for sushi or coffee or whatever. Hopefully Loren has some tips. I don't know who else knows the city well, but any ideas are welcome! Also, if anybody wants to tour guide me for a couple hours in exchange for beers, that would be fun.
Trip #2: The week after that I will be in Boulder, CO. I'm not going skiing, but I want to go hiking, and I will have a car. Is there hiking around Boulder or Denver that really stands out? Anything else in those cities that I should make an effort to see/do/eat/drink?
Trip #3: This should be the big payoff. My parents-in-law are going to drive through the south, including Houston, Red Stick, NO, through Alabama/Miss to Florida. I am looking for some advice and things to see/do for fun that would not be included in your standard travel guide. Really unique restaurants, great blues/jazz places that aren't right in the centre of NO, how to get in on an authentic crawfish boil, etc etc. You get the idea. They are mid-50's, in good shape to hike, climb, whatever, somewhat adventurous and fairly seasoned travellers.
I look forward to benefitting from your combined wisdoms. Non-headers are welcome to email me and I can post your comments in here if that's ok.
This is the tube in which I spent my Thursday evening:
That is not me.
The tunnel is so small! I am 6'0, 190 lbs and the tunnel pressed my arms to my sides as I went in, I can't imagine a large person getting an MRI. I also saw a show once where they did MRI's of a couple while they were getting it on. There must be a special tunnel for the XXX MRI's and the fat people.
Second, since only my shoulder was being done, I figure 5 minutes, 10 tops. Twenty-five minutes! Crazy! No wonder it takes 5 months to get one done here.
Third, modern technology is all efficient and clean and silent. I thought this thing was gonna hum like an angel. Then they put the headphones on to "drown out the noise". It was pretty loud when my head went in, then after a minute the guy says over the headset "Ok, hold still, it's going to get loud now" (!!). So they pipe radio in through the headset to drown the noise and pass the time, cuz otherwise you stare at a blue stripe on the tube, about 1.5 inches in front of your nose. So I asked the girl for 96.9, a half-decent station, and she puts on 95.9, an elevator station. Of course, they can't see or hear me by now (they go to another room) so there's nothing I can do but fight to stay awake.
Fourth, they made sure I had no metal on my shirt or head, but they left my rings on. I guess because they were a few inches from the tube, it was no big deal. But is it not true that any metal in the tube will get thrown violently against the tube walls? If so, do they make the headphones from materials immune to magnetic fields? How do the magnetic fields not interfere with the signal to the headphones? So many questions...
Half an hour later, I am on my way out the door. Next week I get to see how fucked up my shoulder is, and if I will ever serve again.
Well, some of you were bugging me to put up pictures so you'll know what I look like when you stalk me. I agree, that tends to make it easier.
So here is the birthday portrait my daughter made for me last week.
That's me on the left with the black hair. Jordan is in the middle, with the long hair. And that's our little Jacob on the right, apparently wearing a beret. Oui oui!
Please don't P-shop my children, they may want to run for office some day, and I don't want this coming back to haunt them.
My labour of love is complete. If there is one thing I learned about myself since becoming a father, it's that I can actually build stuff. I was mediocre in wood shop, because I never cared about how to make a dustpan out of a sheet of tin. A new dust pan costs what, a buck?
But now that I'm a dad, I love when I can make something original and cool for my kids and they actually derive great joy from it. So I built this (all by myself!):
And I dare say it is the greatest thing I've ever created with my own hands. I can't draw, paint, sculpt or any of the many creative things you all seem to excel at it. But I can build things. And the best part is, I bought the posts, bought the railings, bought the shingles, and the rest is all salvage. Total cost: about 100 bucks.
It took me 32 years, but finally all the neighbourhood kids want to play in my yard. Next up: One garage.
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