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  Thu

brian




WHAT... THE... FUCK

I would normally post this to the news items, but... umm... it just has to be a post.

BTW: I am never sleeping on a greyhound bus again.

Man decapitates passenger aboard Greyhound bus in Manitoba


[ posted by brian at 07/31/2008 12:48:09 PM ]
[ trackback ]

  Wed

brian




woooooow

Welch sent across to me a personal (that beck sent across to him):

the nightmare before manowar - m4w - 26
Reply to: pers-462620889@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-10-29, 12:51AM EDT


"sally", your costume was superb, your aloof look sublime. maybe in the future some more words can be coaxed out, though most likely you'll stare at the ground shy and i'll stare at the ground in my normal fashion like we normally do.

you stood at a distance, but did any of the acts catch your fancy?

i hate this / weezer
metallica / micetallica
pixies / tarpixes
dissystema / motorhead
manowar & black hole


--young at heart
http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/doc/mis/462620889.html


[ posted by brian at 10/31/2007 12:52:12 PM ]
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  Thu

brian




Vegan Tits

Looks like there is such a thing as an (almost) free lunch:

http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/doc/cas/440133234.html


[ posted by brian at 10/04/2007 05:00:00 PM ]
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brian




My Science Homework:

For my biology class I had to answer a few questions:

  • Let’s start with a definition, what is a stem cell anyway? Are there different types of stem cells? Explain.

  • Name one disease that scientists believe might be cured with the help of stem cells.

  • What are some of the ethical concerns regarding the use of stem cells in research and medical treatment?

  • What is your opinion on stem cell research?




My Response:

A stem cell is a rudimentary cell which has the ability to mature into any other cell type and is self replicating. The 3 basic types of stem cells (in humans) are embryonic stem cells, cord blood stem cells, and adult stem cells.

Embryonic stem cells are procured from a blastocyst. Cord blood stem cells are harvested from umbilical tissue. Adult stem cells are harvested from mature adult tissue and currently are the only type of stem cell to have common use in modern medicine. Leukemia and other blood/bone cancers are treated using stem cells harvested from bone marrow.

While scientists believe that tissue regeneration will be *possible* with embryonic stem cells, there is established and tested medicine in use today to treat some bone and blood cancers through the use of adult stem cells.

Some individuals are concerned about the use of embryonic stem cells due to the fact that harvesting cells from the blastocyst halts it's development and causes it to self destruct. These same individuals believe that by it's existence alone there is some biological need to let the blastocyst develop further. These same individuals fail to recognize that adplantation has not yet occurred and that the blastocyst is no more likely to develop into a human at this stage than a roll of quarters is likely to turn into a hundred dollar bill. Only through adplantation and the female body failing to reject the blastocyst will it have any chance at developing to viability and later (assuming no further complications arise) into a human being.

I think that in some regards, science for the sake of science is a dangerous thing. While the exploration of the unknown has brought us great things like tin foil, adhesive tape, & edible roll-up fruit it also induces enough paranoia in the ignorant and salavation in the power hungry that the control of the fruits of these academic endeavors inevitably leads to some harm against man as a whole.

Then again, I do like fruit roll-ups.


[ posted by brian at 09/20/2007 02:24:51 AM ]
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  Mon

brian




that Judas goat lookin fella

I'm trying not to lose my shit.

“I became the calm, little center of the world,”

“I was the Zen master,”


So for the second time my employer has decided to put off doing a salary review. Now, this actually happened a while ago, but the problem is they always trick me into thinking that it was a good idea and then it strikes me later exactly what they've done.

This time it was the promise of a 'promotion'. I was to head up a new department at work that would be doing research and development of new technologies. Since this is my dream situation I gladly obliged. Then, the truth started to come out. It wasn't the pure 'R&D' situation that I was promised. It was a half-assed attempt at keeping me subservient while nudging me in the direction of doing highly profitable innovation for the company under the guise of it being "good for the community."

Now, this after rampant nepotism led to 2 employees sticking around most of the winter getting salary for doing largely nothing (as if that wasn't enough to leave a bad taste in my mouth). So when I was told that I was to screen candidates for a lackey position, I shut up for a bit. It's not often that one gets the chance to give someone 'the same chance they had', that being, a 'learn while you earn' situation on the job. What I do does not require a degree. Far from it, it requires a lot of the skills that are honed in school but very little of the actual subject matter ever applies.

I viewed this as the perfect chance to give one of the many people I knew a chance at an entry level position. Now, Joel Spolsky will be the first to tell you that it's a bad idea to hire people you know. then again, this also assumes it's for a highly technical position, this isn't. It's entry level. I need someone docile. I need someone unfettered by a degree. I need someone who I can verbally abuse and will understand that it's all in a days work. Arrogant? Of course I am. Nobody should have to put up with my shit, but c'est la vie.

Then I'm asked to write a job description, and I do. Pretty good one if i do say so myself. I pass it along and it's thoroughly butchered. All of the meaning of it is excised out to the point where it looks like I'm asking for a secretary.

Then, my work decides that there are not enough women and minorities in I.T. What do they do. They initially post the job description in one place (and one place only). The job boards at Howard. Now, considering that they made it clear that their goal was for a technical candidate more than an entry candidate, I must say that i'm a bit confused. Howard is not the mecca of development and administration that say UMD or GW are (just to name local campuses).

I manage to find a perfect candidate. I'm told to bring him in. Then i learn that it's only to maintain the illusion of fairness. They made their decision before he even walked through the door and couldn't be bothered with taking the time to even meet him.

Then to boot, I learn that one of the folks on my team is partially behind it...


[ posted by brian at 08/13/2007 06:47:53 PM ]
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  Thu

brian




San Francisco / San Jose Trip 6/14-6/23

Hey all, i'm heading out to the west coast to go to a class from June 17th through the 22nd. I'm coming out a few days early to chill and will be free by 6:00pm every night. Anyone want to play tour guide (or give me a couch to sleep on the night of June 14th or 15th)?

Starting the 16th I'm going to have a hotel room and i'll have a rental car the whole time. I'm hell bent on checking out the ocean, Muir Woods, seeing american steel, & other than that... I got nothing.

Hit me up and tell me whats hott.


[ posted by brian at 05/31/2007 01:37:41 PM ]
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  Sun

brian




professional appearance

you've got to be shitting me...

this craigslist ad with title - "Bunny Slipper Model / Program Hostess for SPAMalot!!" states as a requirement Professional appearance

how fucking professional are you supposed to look in bunny slippers at a monty python musical.

http://baltimore.craigslist.org/tfr/286742963.html


[ posted by brian at 03/04/2007 03:59:16 AM ]
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  Fri

brian




best random image page ever

673



[ posted by brian at 01/19/2007 01:45:39 AM ]
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  Thu

brian




called out!

Josh,

I'm gonna need you to answer this:



After watching you consume flesh and ovum at dinner the other night, i've gotta say, this shit needs to stop. Yo want to get all bloodmouth on me, thats cool keep your diet of cruelty outta my shit.

Oh...

AND DON'T LEAVE McDONALDS BAGS AT MY HOUSE ANYMORE SCUMBAG!



[ posted by brian at 01/11/2007 01:59:06 PM ]
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  Fri

brian




neeed sleeep.....

pardon the poor grammar and formatting. this is slightly tweaked from a jabber conversation:

so, a rendition of "my night". first i drove to pg plaza and a bunch of nerds started making fun of me "for thinking i'd honestly get a PS3 getting in line at 10:30 the night before" - ("we'll, I'm 5th in line and i've been here 38 hours").

then i drove to greenbelt and chilled there for like a half hour, then, looking at my blackberry, i realized i might have about a 20% chance of getting one so i headed up to arundel mills.

at arundel mills there is a best buy, circuit city, wal mart, & FYE.

so walmart had a short line, and announced they only had 4 consoles, so that was a wash.
all of the others were on "mall" property
so then i go over to best buy, and there's no line but the security guard announces "no one's allowed on mall property till 6:00 am". so i apologize, and drive around a bit.
best buy is supposed to have (min) 26 at each store
20 60GB models, 6 20GB models
they may have more but that was their "minimums"
so at that point i drive over to circuit city and they have a sign in the window (on the inside) stating that they only have 8 (scratched out) with 5 written over it and mall security says you can't line up till 6:00 am.

so
at this point it's 1:00 am and i drive over to walmart and sleep in the parking lot
periodically, i wake up and do the loop. all's the same except at 2:30 there is a sign on the outside of circuit city
"DUE TO A SHIPPING ERROR, WE WILL NOT HAVE THE UNITS"
but since that was on the outside i disregarded it as disinformation and go back to my post and go to sleep
at 4:45 i wake up and do the lap... only now there is 600 people outside of best buy
with 2 security guards trying to keep them under control and it's not working
so the county boys are brought in...
and then the state...
and then at 5:45 they announce that because the mob is so unruly they are refusing to sell the units

i immediately take the hint and haul ass over to circuit city. at that point
there is a mob of about 30 people crowded around the front door of CC, i say to myself "thats not very productive" and stand off to one side leaning against the wall
then about 20 more people show up and the mob gets worse and at 6:00 am they start demanding that CC open the store
and try and force the doors open i again say "what the fuck" and stand back a bit further and then they announce "form a line"
to which a line starts to form and i'm like 10 back (standing in the same spot i was in) save for a mob of 20 people who refuse to move from the door.

this continues with the security guards yelling at people, the line growing, etc etc
at this point i assume they're going to do a lottery unlike the land rush method they sometimes do
because land rush is what causes people to get trampled, anyways, i digress.

i'm standing in line, it's like 6:15 the mob still isn't listening to any of the security

the head of security is fed up freaks out
and points and me and yells "YOU CALM DOWN AND GET TO THE END OF THE LINE, RIGHT NOW!!!!!"
to which people start laughing at me. she does this to a couple of other people, then drags us back there to make sure we go.
at this point, i'm confused, because i've been dead silent the whole time avoiding the mob. when we get to the back she whispers "i'd suggest the 5 of you get around to the back of the store asap" we're escorted to the back. then we're let in through the stereo install area and then held in the store for an hour
because......
at this point people have started threatening violence on us
and multiple people were arrested for brandishing weapons
so we're held in the store until 7:30
and we have to give our keys to employees
who (in street clothes) drive our cars around back
so we can discreetly exit with electronics in tow

The Payoff


[ posted by brian at 11/17/2006 01:01:49 PM ]
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  Sat

brian




Taxlo

So i was rolling deep with Josh last night. He was destroyed on whiskey by the end of the night. As an aisde, i believe this gentleman is looking to have his timbers shivered.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/joshsisk/232116879/

Oh yeah, and if you have a problem with 2 posts in a row... THEN SOMEONE SHOULD HAVE POSTED SOMETHING IN THE PAST 26 HOURS


[ posted by brian at 09/16/2006 06:14:23 PM ]
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  Fri

brian




Call It

ZoIP

1-360-226-7386



[ posted by brian at 09/15/2006 04:29:32 PM ]
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  Thu

brian




Son, do you know why I stopped you?


Law Enforcement Latex Short Sleeved Shirt
Price: $225.00
Law sexy hot law enforcement look is a short sleeved shirt with front pockets & epaulettes. This law enforcement latex shirt is imported from London, Latex Grade 0.017" Sizes small, medium, large, xlarge.
Quantity in Basket: none

[ posted by brian at 02/16/2006 02:45:48 PM ]
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  Tue

brian




This is pretty sad

So josh sent me a link to this photo a minute ago:



My first thought was "Woah, I have that same shirt!..."

Then i realized the photo was of me. I'm pretty far out in left field obviously.

[ posted by brian at 01/03/2006 03:35:38 PM ]
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  Fri

brian




Regarding the previous post...

So let me flesh out this story a bit...

I walked out of my house a 7:15 this morning. Ready to start my 45 minute to hour commute out to Gaithersburg, MD. As i'm steping out the front door I look and see a white SUV speeding down the street and hear a loud "car-crash bang" sound. I realize that it's my neighbor, Joe's, car and immediately start sprinting off to catch up to this asshole. I figured, it wasn't the first time I'd successfully done this around our house, why not.

So i start off at a full clip, get half a block and throw down my laptop & business suit (on a hangar for a business meeting later today) to gain a little bit more speed when it becomes apparent that I won't be catching up weighted down by 10lbs of electronics gear and the like.

On the next block I let out a roar of "STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP... GET THE FUCK OVER HERE" at which point a little girl ahead of me waiting for the bus who I hadn't noticed starts squealing. While running in the general opposite direction that I am she pleads "leave me alone!" and I just keep running chasing down the SUV.

At this point i'm able to pick out the characters "929" at the front of the plate and realize "hell, if i'm getting close enough to read the plate, then i'm gaining on this person." I hit my second wind and take off again. After 2 more blocks i've decoded the string "92953M" and begin to slack off until i realize thats only 6 while there should be 7 characters.

I then run 2 more blocks (down the center of the street with speeding cars slowing down behind me) and see the car pulling into Dematha Catholic High School.

I stand outside of the fence.
Wait for the guy to park.
Then yell:

"Congratulations, you are now officially having a shitty day."

The kid tries to play it off and pretend nothing happened and I lay it out for him.

"You've got 2 choices. Come with me you SUV driving prick or I call the cops to report a hit and run."

He mumbles something about being late for school and I tell him that I don't give a flying fuck. This is binary. He can choose the "1" or the "0".

At that point I start walking away and he quickly realizes the gravity that this entails. He begins driving after me pleading "I SWEAR i was going to stop after school.", "Is there any way we can work this out", etc, etc.

Now, i wasn't thinking about it at the time, but i'm sure speeding in an SUV and having someone that looks like this:



catch up to you on foot, verbally berate you in front of all of your friends, then drag you off is probably a very scary occurrence in the minds of most young white suburbanites.

Long story shortened, we get back to the treeswing and I start telling the kid to copy down his license number, plate numbers, and all of his contact info.

While he's doing this i wait strategically and say:

"Hey..." and he looks up.

"Right now, i'm sure you're thinking you could copy down any info that you wanted and possibly get away with this. Let me assure you I memorized your plate number and if for any reason the owner can't get in touch with you. I WILL introduce you to a wrath worse than god."

Right after saying this his *Hockey* coach drives up and starts giving me shit. I find very creative ways to tell him to go fuck himself including the word "mogoloid" and imply physical harm from the business end of a hockey stick.

[ posted by brian at 09/23/2005 09:30:11 AM ]
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  Wed

brian




4 Words for y'all

GAY ICP FAN FIC

http://www.livejournal.com/community/icp_is_rps_otp/

all i can say, the end is nigh.

[ posted by brian at 09/14/2005 11:04:13 AM ]
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  Thu

brian




Blast from the past

So Josh and I were discussing the tragedy that is borf getting arrested and he said "yo, there's something on NPR right now about it." So i connect with my laptop to npr.org to catch some streaming audio of it (which is upsetting because they only support RAM and Windows media) and start listening.

Immediately I am accosted with the voice of Neal Conan. I used to DJ at a radio station he called baseball games for and this guy was a colossal prick. He was also quite a bit loopy, so much so that he wasn't allowed to operate a motor vehicle and as such had to ride a bicycle around the mean streets of Aberdeen & churchville, MD. But... I digress. Back to how this guy set new epochs in being a tool.

So he was calling baseball games for the new farm team "the Aberdeen arsenal". The Aberdeen arsenal was a monumental failure in baseball. See, there was this idea that people gave a shit about baseball in Harford county, which is untrue. So the plan was that the team would play their first season games at the community college then move to the new stadium that Cal Ripken was building. To make a side comment about this, let me pull a quote from the Aberdeen arsenel website:

"The Arsenal spent one season in the Atlantic League before totally dissolving. Managed by Darrell Evans, the Arsenal played their games on a community college field, something players felt very uncomfortable doing. "

So lets analyze this. They form a baseball team and make them play at a community college. They get some wacko from NPR who can't drive a car to call the games...then they broadcast them on a community radio station.

Brilliant.

Now, to the part where I come in.... During all of this, there were 3 punk rock radio shows on the air, "The Mongolian Bar-be-que" hosted by erict. from "The Shitdogs of War", "Broken Hearts and Busted Arms" hosted by Jessse Morgan, and a third radio show called "A Grinding Noise" hosted by moi. It was always really annoying because our shows would get pre-empted by these games (which few people listened to) and we'd lose anywhere from 15 minutes to an hour of our radio show and have to sit working through this stuff. So i decided to have fun with it. I would play sound clips and read the weirdest public service announcements I could find and purposefully get parts of them wrong, My favorite part of all of this was the segues. On the most memorable occasion I played the Reversal of Man - "The Hills Have Eyes". That's the one with the amazing clip from "the burbs":

"I want to kill everyone. Satan is good, Satan is my pal...
I want to kill everyone. Satan is good, Satan is my pal..."


And this guy would call the station flipping out and complaining about me. Ranting and raving about the "devil worshipping stuff" i would play and how it would throw him off. (The best part off all though was that I could cue things up that he would hear in his headphones that wouldn't get broadcasted. I'd play Daybreak and shit to get it cued up at the beginning of the show, blaring it in his ears and to the general public this guy would just lose his shit mid-scentence and forget what he was saying.)

So as Josh and I were waxing poetic about this, I decided to look up some information about this and found that they're still using all of the web designs and logos I did in 1999. - WHFC, 91.1. Public Radio

[ posted by brian at 07/14/2005 11:47:12 AM ]
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  Mon

brian




tour

yo all. i just got back from tour with "tradition dies here" and "an alarm" and i must say things went swimmingly. not too many details yet, i'll post them later. i just wanted to share this little gem:



[ posted by brian at 06/13/2005 12:27:40 PM ]
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  Fri

brian




a warm welcome


(12:54:41) Brian:
you would have been laughing pretty hard last night when started moving stuff in, cause when he walked in the door i was in the middle of shooting up

(12:54:53) Brian: i
had my sharps kit out and everything

(12:55:01) Brian:
and was taking my monthly b-12 shot

(12:55:30) Josh:
hahahahaha

(12:55:40) Brian:
so i had little vials of stuff (that actually look like the red drug vials from robocop 2) syringes, and alcohol swabs all over the coffee "table"

(12:55:51) Josh:
hahahaha

(12:56:32) Brian:
i found a place that sells vials of B-12 so i picked up a bunch and have stopped taking the pills

(12:56:42) Josh:
why do you take b12 shots? also you are one of the most unique people i have evern met, brian. its like, every time i speak to you, you drop some other tidbit in conversation that makes me go "wow, brian is intense"

(12:56:53) Brian:
partly because b-12 doesn't absorb for shit through the stomach

(12:57:03) Brian:
and partly because it's much cheaper to take the shots

(12:57:18) Brian:
actually, those two are closely linked

(12:57:40) Brian:
because 1mg of b12 in vials costs ~$2

(12:57:47) Brian:
and you do it once per month

(12:58:06) Brian:
other wise you have to take 1/2mg per day, every day

(12:58:18) Brian:
tried snorting it

(12:58:22) Brian:
which worked better

(12:58:28) Brian:
than taking it orally

(12:58:41) Brian:
but it stained the inside of my nose and all of my snot pink

(12:58:49) Josh:
man you are intense

(12:59:08) Brian:
just wait till vogel gets in on this

(12:59:17) Brian:
his GF did with me last night

(12:59:25) Brian:
i started joking about sharing needles

(12:59:27) Josh:
in two months it will be heroin

(12:59:28) Brian:
she didn't find it funny

(12:59:51) Brian:
i felt like such an addict asking for syringes in rite-aid

(13:00:03) Josh:
hahah yeah

(13:00:06) Brian:
cause they keep them behind the counter

(13:00:15) Josh:
man you should compose a post about this, its kind of amazing

(13:00:20) Brian:
and i was like "uhh, can i get some 1cc syringes"

(13:00:27) Brian:
and the girl just started at me

(13:00:36) Brian:
and i said "you know, like BD diabetic syringes"

(13:00:40) Josh:
"what, i'm diabetic"

(13:00:47) Josh:
yeah

(13:01:02) Brian:
and when she asked how many i wanted i said, "just one pack"

(13:01:08) Brian:
so she pulled a single box out

(13:01:18) Brian:
and i said "no, one package out of the box, 10 needles"

(13:01:26) Brian:
and she just went back to staring at me

(13:01:48) Brian:
i'm sure wondering what i only needed 10 needles for

(13:02:15) Brian:
i was tempted to say "c'mon lady. i can reuse those things. i mean, they cost like 30 cents a piece, you think money is made on trees?"

(13:02:28) Josh:
hahahaha

[ posted by brian at 05/13/2005 01:09:28 PM ]
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  Tue

brian




us failures are winning...

So. I went to school with this guy named Eric. Not too many people liked him. He was really into Video Games, Anime, Techno, etc. He was always amped and had ADD REALLY bad.

He was a reasonibly good artist and always would draw manga style versions of us and things like that. At some point, I started being an asshole to him (mainly cause I can't handle people who are spasomadic with ADD type tendencies) and haven't really talked to him since.

I just learned a couple of minutes ago that he:

a) started a video game company
http://www.neonfm.com

o.k., so thats no big deal. i mean i own my own business, josh and loren have one two. the difference is:

b) he found venture capital

c) he has preorders and distribution lined up

d) they moved into a dedicated office yesterday

e) there's actually a AVI file of the game being played
http://www.bemanistyle.com/Neon_FM_gameplay_video.avi

So i must admit. i am eating my words right now. this is crazy.

[ posted by brian at 04/19/2005 02:52:26 PM ]
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