Well, the wind is starting to pick up in ye olde BR. EAS was activated a few minutes ago because they sighted funnel clouds in Livingston and East Ascension, I think. My lights have already started to flicker, and those low-lying hurricane band clouds are starting to circle in. They're hard to describe unless you've actually sat through one of these storms, but, I think they're quite pretty.
Surprisingly enough, they're anticipating 70-80 mile per hour gusts up here. Which is quite strong for Baton Rouge. Most shingle roofs are only rated to 75 miles per hour, so, things could get pretty interesting.
I spent the day walking around the yard and thinking: "Is this a potential missile?" "Is the wind going to pick this up and slam it against the Jeep?" "Where the fuck do you put a scooter in Tropical Storm force winds?" "What's the best way to weigh down a garbage can?" (fill it with bricks) and laughing at idiotic media speculations like "Could Baton Rouge experience a Storm Surge?" (we're a 100 miles from the gulf) The other part of the day I spent looking for ice and d-batteries, no where to be found. Gas has already shot back up to 3.70 - it was 3.59 even 3.42 in some places.
Jindal was on almost 24/7 today. It was kind of overkill. But I understand, there is no way that anyone is going to be able to crucify him for inaction the way Aunt Bea was nailed (and somewhat rightfully so) after Katrina. Nagin to was taking the initiative and invited the looters to cross his happy ass. It's theater and PR, but, they do appear to have done what countless other previous evacuation orders have failed at, that is, systematically counterflowing the population out. I don't know what the difference was this year, but, despite and LSU game they were able to handle the New Orleans countraflow in a matter of hours. There were no 18 hour drives to Houston. Props.
In 2005 on my birthday, we watched New Orleans flood on T.V., this year it's a day late. I wonder if I'll get a birthday hurricane next year? Hopefully, next year at this time I won't be here.
I don't really have anything to say, maybe tomorrow if I have lights, I'll describe the interesting things that have been blown down the street.
/sorry for a double post from The Superficial, but, after gazing upon Rosario as I would a gem of great size and clarity, I found this obscenity from yesterday.
And the health organizations that are concerned with this sort of thing are walking around like guilty husbands, fiddling with tchochkes, and protesting in strange tones about how they have no idea how this 19 year trend was inexplicably reversed.
But then things start slipping out inappropriately in conversation. "Honey, you look fantastic in your Abstinence-Only Education"
"Cathy did you remember to pick up Abstinence-Only Education from her recital?"
"Baby, when we get home I'm going to flip you over and Abstinence-Only Education your asshole"
Here's the deal:
1) Human Beings like to fuck
2) Human Beings naturally start fucking pretty young.
3) Telling them not to - doesn't work - except of a statistically minor cohort. And that group doesn't not fuck at all - they just delay it, and they tend to pick up a wandering band of fellow STDs once they start.
4) So, basing your whole system of educating young human beings on how to fuck responsibly on the completely fantastically derived and whimsical idea that they'll just forgo it entirely tends to turn out... wait for it.
5) Higher teen pregnancies, YOU DUMB REPUBLICAN FUCKSHITS.
6) Thanks for strapping us with another generation of knocked up, and economically shackled single teenage mothers.
I'm about to wreak ecological havoc in the form of a huge dump. I'm about to hang a rat on the environment.
I was feeling kind of fat today, but on the way home, the scooter helped me clarify the situation, with all the vibrating and tumbling about, kind of like those old timey rock tumblers you could buy from the back of Boy's Life. Only this rock tumbler is faster-acting, wetter, and produces something not suitable for beading.
Or, at least cheap energy. And that's pretty much the end of our society, whose cheapness and popularism rode on the sulfur dioxidey glow of a lot of wasted gas. We're pretty much on schedule as far as all those predictions of yore went. We're rolling up on the end of the Mayan calendar, affordable oil is a wet dream, we've sold out our production capacity overseas, Mickey Mouse, etc. et al., the new caste system, and thus, and so.
So, as society essentially refreezes itself where we are. As barriers to travel become boundaries of travel, what are you planning to do with the rest of your stuck-wheresoever-you-are-life?
Mainly because I was extremely turned off by prices, warranties, maintenance, and reliability. I'm not cheap. I just don't like to waste money by stumbling around in unfamiliar places. So, anyway, I just bought a scooter. It's a cheapo, second hand, but I had it checked out at a shop that was recommended to me and everything checks out fine. At any rate its maintenance will be a new hobby.
I've been tracking my fuel spending and driving habits over the past couple of months. Even if I don't reduce the distances I'm going, I'm still going to save on the order of 250 dollars a month.
And the savings will only increase as fuel goes up. It's funny. My limit was $4.00 dollars. At four dollars a gallon, that was my absolute limit for the vehicle I currently have. Coincidentally, today, with the handshake, and the title exchange, the average price in Baton Rouge for unleaded ticked past $4.02.
Digressing every so slightly.
If this whole meteoric oil price thing turns out to be an Enron style price fixing with culpable American corporations in on it, then some actual suits need to go before firing squads. Actual firing squads. Cheap gas is more American than baseball and pie and Jesus. We have an inalienable right to cheap gas, endowed by our creator.
That being said, now I'm going to go tool around the roads aimlessly on a little machine that makes 80 miles to the gallon. Pictures, later, if I'm not annihilated by a H3(miles to the gallon)
I've been eating a lot of meat lately. I've just craved it. Don't know why. It makes me gassy. I wish I had beef jerky curtains. They'd keep the house warm in the winter, cool in the summer, lickable year round.
First, find a Youtube video, for this example we'll use "Penis Enlargement Possibilities"
You'll see on the right a box with some html labeled "embed" if you don't see this box, click on "More info" - sometimes embed is hidden by default. I've marked it out for you in this picture.
By clicking on the code in the embed field, your browser automatically selects all of the code/text that you'll need to successfully embed the video. There is no need to manually highlight it. Right click and select copy or press ctrl + "c" to capture/copy the text.
Next, position your cursor in a Killoggs post/journal/comment box. Right click and select paste or use the ctrl + "v" hotkey. It ought to look like this.
This, despite the cockroaches, despite the crazy-ass thundestorms, the 55 mph winds, the roof damage, the leak in my closet, the 90+ degree temperatures, is my favorite time of the year.
Because women are beautiful. And they are especially beautiful now. In the sauna-like humidity, cats lose their winter coats, flowers, bloom and fruit ripens, and women, women put on their summer tits.
Sweet bosoms.
Alas, I'm a little too old, now. I love, but love looks elsewhere. Still. I am surrounded by the bosomy reminder that bosoms, tits, sweet, heavy, fragrant, perfumed, heaving, perky, ahem, that life is good and worth living.
Maybe at the beach, I'll curl up with a copy of Time Enough for Love
I was about to see if anyone wanted to go for some odds for a Jim Jones style murder-spree followed by mass-suicide/ascension.
But apparently he was just thrown in jail.
The crazy is strong with this one, if you feel like taking a break from rational thought and diving into some seriously fucked up christianist cat-logic, by all means, indulge.
And the Mississippi is its great, muddy piss-stream,
Then this is a little bit like a drunken cock-fumble in the loo that leaves your pants wet.
But, it's one hell of a show. More inside.
I were traveling to Chicago, what would be a good weekend for you to meet up for a drink? I've already got a place to stay in Evanston, and a long purloined copy of Don Johnson's "A Boy and His Dog" held captive now for 4 long years to collect. Those things notwithstanding, some businessy things to take care of, and a much needed anticipated restorative dip in Lake Michigan (which all are welcome to partake), I'd like to see people I haven't seen in years. Perhaps even some people I've never met (does Yoda still read this?) I've got some la(ss)titude with dates. Input please. Google Streetview just doesn't do it for me anymore.
Things I'm willing to do/discuss:
eat inappropriate objects
hit on your sister
Discuss Title 44
skydiving
ride the Ferris Wheel at Navy Pier
spend a ridiculous amount of money on Clark Street
eat the shit out off a decent noodle shop
the space herpes
Things I'm not willing to do:
betray my country, my family, or my God.
Personally, I'd rather it were legalized and regulated. Hell, if there were relatively little risk of disease, pregnancy, or getting rolled by a pimp, once in a blue moon it might even be a fun time to take the sigoth down to the old whorehouse and shake things up a bit, all adults consenting.
But god almighty? $5,500 an hour? My dick better be gilt after we're done. If I'm going to spend half a camry, I expect a similar utility from the experience. I should leave with advanced knowledge in some arcane field. Maybe an organ transplant. Is this a zero-gravity fuck on space-ship one? Are Stephen Hawking and Madden going to be present doing a play-by-play? Am I coming away with Advanced Auditing toward my overcoming my Pre-Clear Status? No Load Mutual Funds? The recipe for Famous Amos's Cookies?
Because $5,500 dollars is a lot spend on some trim, even if there's a harvard education buxom flesh puppet attached to it.
Good god. Rich people and the things they do with money.
We haven't had a contest in a while. This is open to anyone who can read this.
Let's see who can come up with the best, original, composite sin comprising as many components of the new ones as you can, as well as the old classics.
Bonus points for originality, narrative, style, and of course depravity.
Extra bonus points for accompanying pictures
What should your entries look like - well for starters it should definitely be SINFUL! SINNNNNN. IMMORAL? YES! UNGODLY? OF COURSE! TASTELESS, WITHOUT A DOUBT - but nothing illegal.
Winner gets a gift certificate to Hot Topic.. Accessory store and clothing shop TO THE DAMNED.
For serious.
Winner to be determined by a simple majority vote of disinterested and bored Killoggers. In the event of a tie nobody gets anything. In the event that nobody cares, someone will get everything. In the event upon the posting of your newly invented sin that hell's own maw opens gaping, and the archangel MICHAEL himself rushes forth to thrust you preciptiously into the very bowels of Satan's chief domain , what favor could my paltry gift bestow to you? my friend, YOU HAVE WON THE GRAND PRIZE.
Mny have you have asked me. I know. I've heard you ask'n. You've ask'd me: "Why, Mr. President, our we in I-rak. Just whut is this surge about, Mr. President." Well, I'll tell ya' I've heard your calls.
You deserve answers. I am your President and I always work in the nation's best interest. Sometimes those interests aren't too clear. National S'curity. I say. I am the decider. And I've decided that now is a good time to let you know, let Am'rica know, where those trillions of dollars have gone. They've gone to security. They've gone to helping a country, a country that we destroyed, in a very powerful and decisive way, stand back up.
I am not religious. But I enjoy ritualistic behavior. Like once a year, I try to go throw a vegetable into the Mississippi. At least once every Easter, I wear socks on my ears. And at Christmas, I ritualistically gain 10 pounds.
This year, I've decided to give something up for Lent, just for the hell of it. And that sacrifice is:
