While looking for a new stick of deodorant today, I noticed that gone are the days of simple scents. They have replaced words like "spice" and "powder" with the most asinine descriptions, some so absurd that I had to write it down in the middle of the drugstore. So, here I share with you the cream of the crop:
Phoenix
Voodoo
Kilo
Essence
Orion
Lucky Day
Midnight
Afterhours
Unlimited
Adrenaline
Overdrive
Accelerate
Ionic
Victory
Energy
Chill
Clean Slate
Silver Ice
and my favorite: Dynamic Pulse
Ingredients:
4 Kegs of good beer
1 fridge full of 40's
1 Case of wine
Disposable cameras to pass around.
Palm Reader
2 bands
live hip hop(including an 8 mile style battle)
4 dj's
Friends
Mix together and let simmer for hours, and hours. This is what it may look like. Results vary. May need steam cleaner for carpet next day.
Straight up and down, ain’t no comparing me, see
Cause I got some shit that’ll put y’all motherfuckers
Back in freestyle therapy, b
I make rappers fall like when school starts, like cheap tissue
When you’re next to my shit you’re getting ripped apart
Dissing wack niggas without rehearsal
No matter what I say somebody gonna take it personal, so fuck it
Your man put down the cheddar, nigga we get the pay-oh
I make sure you lose a friend for life and be looking for a way home
Get dropped on your rap block without leaving a spot
Separate you from the jock, I got plans to make you hot
Watch an mc and you rot, nigga these flows is crisp
When a mic in my hand bitches is supposed to be like this
There’s mad niggas that wanna see mad skillz slip
Yeah you gonna see me slip, past your ass with your bitch in my whip
Get a grip, whoever got the itch then I got the scratch
Mc’s wanna get gassed, I feed their ass a lit match
All these jealous-ass niggas acting sheisty
Better tongue kiss magic johnson before they tell me I’m nice
But that’s aiight, northside e, conceited times three
Come through your town on skis, subtracting mc’s
Word to battle be in lonnie’s last name
Approach me, all you getting that
Plus you getting blown out the fucking frame
Who the nigga that got a big head when he on the mic, pa?
Ask a question, answer me (bastard, you are)
Who the mc that grab the mic and start busting rappers’ asses?
(you are you conceited bastard)
Who be burning beats down leaving you with straight ashes?
(you are you conceited bastard)
Who’s the one who put wack mc’s right in their casket?
(you are you conceited bastard)
Man these fools, they slower than retarded molasass, who the nicest?
(you are you conceited bastard)
Ayo, these little niggas in the rap game, they straight lame
Had diss you in a rhyme, but these niggas be scared to say your name
If a nigga say mine, he getting bagged, kid, I’m a be in the
Studio whipping his ass before he can finish his fucking ad-libs
Taking me out? stop hoping
Niggas always say they gonna do it, it never get done, it’s like voting
I get it open, rhymes tying into name
Simple and plain, I pull rhymes, one ring and one chain
I give a fuck about fame, press your luck and quit
Mic-wise you realize I ain’t that nigga you wanna fuck with
I’m nice as a bitch with the rhyme, if a nigga say I’m wack
He don’t know his name, can’t walk a straight line
Pissy drunk, screaming like onyx
Forgot his social security number, damn near drowning in his own vomit
I kill logic, test me friend, you’ll be in a club with your clothes
On backwards hollaring at a well-known lesbian
Half of y’all niggas got wack raps and wack tracks
Talking about you representing, putting your town on the map
Still, your mother heard your tape and wanted to shoot you
And niggas around this bitch wonder why we call ourselves "super? "
Your flows get you free lunch, mine get dough and cash
You shouldn’t like that your ho got my logo tatooed on her fucking ass
I do all y’all playa haters, believe me
You trying to end your career before this shit even start, come see me
This Halloween was a damn good one for me. I usually can't think of anything I want to be, so I settle for something stupid, like putting pantyhose on my head. This year, my costume worked cause everybody knew who I was, except for the TNT strapped to me which confused some.
So, to summarize this weekend:
Saturday, I went to the East Bay for some parties, one which had a kereoke machine that featured early nineties playboy bunnies dancing to the music. The other party was full of Berkeley students, who mostly picked their outfits to show off their bodies(which is no fun at all). I got so completely drunk that night that I passed out and woke up in the back of someones car. I flipped out somehow thinking that I had been kidnapped calling my friends in a panic. Luckily, it was some friends of mine that were gonna take me home.
Sunday, after getting home a 5a.m. I had to wake up at nine to go to work. I think I worked the whole shift pretty damn drunk and somehow managed to avoid a hangover. After work, it was straight to the Castro to show off our costumes to everyone there. Our friend Ricky (Kim Jong Il) stole the show that night. He kept running around yelling at people " Hans Brix, youre breaking my barls!". That Night I also yelled "Fuck yeah!" more times that I have in my whole life. I also got to see the legendary pink man.
Finally after getting home around one or so, one of my roomates' stripper friends shows up at our door crying uncontrolably repeating "My husband just beat me and threw me down some stairs!". After a good ten minutes of that she ran out of our house screaming " I'm gonna fucking kill him!". Next morning I found out that indeed she had gone home, grabbed a kitchen knife, and repeatedly stabbed her husband. She is now in Jail.
What a great weekend.
So this year my favorite costumes were: Two girls that painted themselves completely black to look like the ipod ads, two people dressed as Bunsen and Beaker from the muppets, a girl dressed as a pea pod, Tipi Hedren from "The Birds", and of course us.
Hotdogs are hard to eat when you are a puppet!
Chris hates actors.
Durka, durka, Mohammed Jihad?
I'm so ronrey.
All of us together.
More pictures in the responses.
So I posted this in the GC cause I thought us dudes would be the only ones interested in this, but I was told otherwise, so here goes.
I was at a local bar that has a photo booth. My friends took pictures in it, and when they came out they found some bonus pictures taken by people before them which were better than they ever could have taken. So here they are, and by the way, they aren't too work safe. one two three four
I want a vote for the best one, but I also want an explanation as to why it deserves the number one spot.
The bottom floor of the house I am living in is opening up for rent in September, so if you are thinking of moving to here, this is a good opportunity.
4 Bedroom, 1 Bath apt with parking spaces available for $50 each
$2300 a month with an additional $2300 deposit
The house has a small backyard and a big roof that is cool to hang out on, plus upstairs neighbors that are really mellow, so you can be as loud as you want.
The place is in the heart of the mission district on York st near 24th. Down the street are plenty of shops and restaraunts. There is a 24hr safeway close by as well(although, I rarely find myself going there cause there is plenty of food within walking distance). There are also many bars nearby, in fact half a block away is Pops, a fun sleazy/hipster/dive/semi-dyke bar. The neighborhood itself is mostly working class latino families, with a few younger kids like myself thrown in. This is actually a good opportunity since the places here go for alot more, plus the landlords are really mellow. Feel free to e-mail me through Killoggs if you want contact info.
A naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm and a two foot salami under the other. She lays the poodle on the table. Bartender says, 'I suppose you won't be needing a drink.' Naked lady says--
After an agonizing search, I have finally found a shoe store that carries my size shoe. In fact, they have a shrine of diffrent shoes dedicated to the size 14. They even have some Campers that I like, now I just need to save up some cash!
Since school has been out, I've been watching some movies, here are a few suggestions: After Life, The Hitch-Hiker, Unmade Beds, Sick: The life and times of Bob Flannagan Supermachochist, Grey Gardens and Shadow Magic.
