um, while checking into how to buy a patent/trademark/copyright I stumbled onto this...

US Copyright Office Frequently Asked Questions

Best chuckle in days, the world is crazier than me.

Billie Holiday
Ella Fitzgerald
Nina Simone

Commence arguing!

So in the last two weeks both laptops have gone kabluie! Flan spilt root beer on one and the recent hand-me-down I discovered is plagued with uncurable diseases and all of the friggin software and the operation system are not genuine Microsoft.

So, computer one. All but the keyvboard seem to be in working order. The keyboard at first refused to respond now it responds but it is all googly. I read several mentions recently of keyboard cleaning. How exactly do you do that without breaking the keys?

Computer two I am thinking of just wiping clean to get rid of bugs and starting over. Can that actually be done? I have a new legal version of XP and Office to put back on it.

We turned off the cable so I have no television to keep my sanity. I need the internet to start my new online tutoring gig as well. Who can live without a computer anyway? Where would you keep notes? How could you live without Excel?

Any suggestions would be welcome. Computer one is less than a yr old so I'd hate to chuck it. Computer 2 was free so anything goes to try and fix it (or could I just run it in "safe mode" forever?).

Thank you. I would be more than happy to bribe advice with cookies. My oatmeal cinnamon choco chip are mean mean cookie machines.

Whats up with all you women who are too liberated to have babies but not woman enough to tell your manfriends to wear a friggin rubber instead of havin blood run down yer leg for months at a time and your boobs close to explosion?

Rubbers are cheap and low on side effects. Better yet, get your man to have a vasectomy. Stop taking pills, stop wrecking your body and mental health, have regular periods. Hell, if you hate periods so much, have a baby and breastfeed, you'll get at least a two-year hiatus. They are good for something. You guys really worry about the horror of shredded vag when you have constant blood flow, swollen boobs, raging hormones, massive weight gain, and constant crying?

Those of you with weak stomachs or at work will not want to open these groovy medical photos of some of my innards.

more images in reply....for the love of josh, please don't enter if you hate yourself, hate children, hate life in general, or just hate me and my reproductive organs. i am in baton rouge right now and i will find you, stalk you, and circumcise you.



i thought a cool pic that wasn't a cute butt wouldn't illicit snide remarks, but this is klogs...

Ed!!!

Have you read it? Are you done? What did you think?

Are you just dying for the last one?

I thought I would never recover when Sirius died, but now...I cried myself to sleep.

Morrissey Jack Reid
27 weeks old

Happy Number Two!
Look inside for more.

i have feel like a real hillbilly mom now. last week i was fortunate enough to bathe in diet coke, this week was cheerios.

what is the strangest thing you've ever bathed in, with, or...

a personal favorite

Hey, if anybody is in the Baton Rouge area, my mom has like 500 records in good condition she's trying to get rid of. Its all good stuff, Beatles, Lennon, Elvis, Elvis Costello, etc, etc. Call her, go see them, make her an offer. That sounded really bad. Anyway, email me if you are interested. She needs to unload them so she can move to Alburquerque.

Alternately, if anyone knows of a place that buys used vinyl, please pass the info on.

Love,
Amy

Help needed now.

I am so overwhelmed. Not like I'm gonna bury myself and can't get out but to the please beg friends for help stage. Anyway.

Question one: My colleague Mark wants coming-of-age stories from around the world. Preferably short stories and he really needs a female author or main character. This one is easy.

Question two: I am developing an independent project for one of my seniors who is fascinated with the Czech Republic because his family ancestry is from there. The class is economics/government. I was going to get him to do research on Prague Spring, the Velvet Revolution, and the Czech intelligentsia class who basically rebuilt the Czech govt after the Russians left. This would include Vaclav Havel, the new constitution, and the novels of Milan Kundera. Any ideas on structure, format, approach, more insights on the history/ties to US govt economics/govt in general????

Question three: The other senior in econ/govt is much harder to please. Of course they all claim to be anarchists so I am trying to shape the whole class in the form of the question "Why is govt good? Do we really need govt? What is bad about govt in general that we would loike to see changed? I know you guys have opinions on this! For him I was gonna let him to an independent project on separatist groups and/or groups of people that exist within the US but do not have to abide by our laws, like reservations and embassies, etc. What do you guys think? Any other ideas? I can basically teach whatever I want but I have to come up with a way for them to research these topics. We have no library of our own. I can take them to the public one and they have internet access for research. I will rpobably provide alot of the research materials myself or at least tell them which books to check out.

Love,
Amy

Oh, yeah. Everybody else is doing fine. I'll send pictures of my classroom soon. I love the kids. Even the ones straight from juvie.

yay. Amy got a job teaching world history, economics/govt, and art at a small charter school. Only 150 students, full time is considered 4 hour and a half teaching periods a day (one of which is a prep period), and 189 contract working days a year. Not to mention the fact that the salary is a whole 51% more than I've ever made in my life and 198 more dollars than my husbands first management job.

I get a big classroom with lots of windows, I get to have a goldfish, and all the plants (bonsais) I can fit in the room. Its an old building with only 6 classrooms, hardwood floors, and pictures of the first graduating classes of the original school on the wall.

Yay. Happy. And the cherry? A trip to San Fran in November to attend the Coalition of Essential Schools conference. Yay.

And I will need lots of help from you overachievers.

Today I finally caught up with this century and obtained my very own picture phone. Now if I can just get it to work I can start emailing Josh smut on a daily basis. I also obtained for a whopping bargain bin price of 15.00 a crappy web camera. I will soon be aiming in the nude. I accept paypal and krispy kreme gift cards.

You know what boobies are good for? Gettin babies to go to sleep. Just cuddle em up right between your peaches and they fall off to never never land to two winks. Ah boobies. Fresh squeezed milk smellin boobies.

I just had a 42 minute coversation with someone I haven't spoken to since May 99 when I drove 5 hours in my minivan from Natchitoches to New Orleans following the topless Julies from Amanda's wedding reception. I think he only called me the day before to tell me he was in the state, visiting the Turducken records guy, Anthony, in Nola. I always dropped everything when he called. There were two of those in my life, he was the second, there hasn't been another even close since. Of course the calls always meant sex.

Anyway, he actually called because he is starting a business and he thought maybe one day I'd want to come play with him, work as a director of photography for some of the projects. Its nice that people after so many years, its been 10, think of you in terms of your actual talents and not just your prowess in fleeting abilities. I guess now I don't have to stalk him anymore. And bonus, he lives down the street from Cecil so I can kill two birds with one stone.

Will Ferrell. I just don't get it. He never was funny. He still isn't now. Somebody explain or stalker will soon turn to assassin.

My husband just called from work to ask permission to go to a strip club for a few hours after work tonight with a friend. Of course I said he could go. But he called to ask permission. Go me.

So I had my first teacher interview yesterday with an awesome school. They needed me to teach fine arts, technology, and community service. So yay, I was stoked. Starting pay was close to 40k, a full 10k more than public schools (it is a charter). A four day work week. 5-10 students per class.

They only interviewed 4 people out of about 25 resumes. From the four they were supposed to call some back for a second interview on MOnday. She said she would call today no matter what. It is now 6:37 Mountain Time. Stalking instinct kicking in. Must break in, rummage through desk. Only kidding. Call me. Need job. Want job. Dream job.

As you'll recall, I had to give Baby Girl up for adoption in January. That was a suck ass day in my life. I later updated you that she was adopted on Valentine's Day. Not satisfied with this, I had to know more. Yesterday I called Animal Humane and finagled my way into getting them to give me the adopters phone number. With the phone number I found the address. With the address I found the house. At the house today I found the dumbfounded new owner. Although somewhat put out at my arrival, upon the release of my wail of tears she let me in.

Baby Girl's new name in Val, short for Valentine. The new mommy and daddy are Lenny and Carrie. Carrie had a miscarriage in February and was very unhappy so Lenny brought her home the dog. Now the dog is her baby. Val wouldn't let me touch her. She just barked at me. She always was afraid of strangers but never this bad. Carrie said the shelter workers said Baby Girl was extremely depressed the whole time she was in the shelter. Maybe she was just mad at me today.

I couldn't drive home for the crying. Russ had to come get me. She was my baby. I've never loved anything so much before in my life. I'm not sure how I gave her up in the first place. I promised her I would always take care of her and I failed. Being a grown up sucks. Fucking up sucks. Being sick sucks. Doesn't anybody else on this damn site have any pain...

These are the three pieces that I have yet to have printed for a show in three weeks. That is why I got a job.

my new job

Check out the "Range Rover" section. This place has unique t-shirts. They encourage people to wear them on trips and send the pictures in to the restaurant. There are pictures of ppl in Range t-shirts with the Great Wall, the Pyramids, scubadiving with sharks, you name it. Its a very laid back place. I've never worked for a mom and pop restaurant before, only corporate. This place lets you eat all day pretty much whatever you can get your hands on, they let you wear whatever, they are really nice. The downside is that it is extremely disorganized. Its kinda cool that all the old-timers that come in early speak Spanish to everybody. Working there will probably be as close as I get to working in a foreign country. Oh well, 6 tables and making 80-100 bucks every day for lunch ain't bad at all. At least til cross your fingers and toes I get a teaching job.

In the past week I have applied for at least 25 teaching positions. Hopefully one of them, just one, will bite.

I've been stalking various members of killoggs in my freetime. If only I had a bigger telescope. I guess falling in lovelust with cartoon heads is better than rockstars or actors? I have to crush on somebody. I'm just built that way. Its Josh and Ben's fault anyway for collecting so many worthy candidates in one place. If there are any volunteers...

If I could give the world just one thing, it wouldn't be a coke, it would be one night sleeping with flan. Just to have that sweet smelling baby nestled under your chin, face in chect, arms round you, hand clenched on shirt or skin, heavy breathing, warm breath. And to wake up in the morning to her face inches from yours grinning maniacally ready to start chasing the dog all over again. Ah, love.

If anybody gets intellectually bored and needs something new to watch, rent Hal Hartley films. I watched all the early ones ten years ago with the french professor and i loved them but i dont think a 19 year old has the mental stillness to really appreciate the beauty and emotion of his films. I saw Amateur again the other day for the first time in years and I was possessed. Martin Donovan is truly an unsung hero of the American cinema. After you watch Hal, read some Milan Kundera, particularly "the Book of Laughter and Forgetting" and "Immortality". You brain will be so cloudy with ideas that you will have to have sex five times a day just to remember to eat.

I'm getting bored with my name. I'm thinking of an alias? Any thoughts? (It would also be useful since my online thoughts don't get any tamer and I am about to be the mentor of a bunch of teenagers with internet access and nothing else to do than search for me.)

So I lost my virginity yesterday. My boyfriend, who right now I can't remember how long we've been dating or how we met (oh yeah, a club), took me over to his friends house because his friends mom was out of town. His friend with the black hooptie car with no back seat because it is full of speakers, is dating my best friend Carmen's sister Mia. So we had sex on his twin bed. There was blood. I guess the friend gave Jeff the sheets because a few weeks later he pulled them out of his trunk. I asked him what those were for , and he said to dry his car after he washed it.

So what do you use to buff your TransAm?