Please, for the love of god and all things right and decent, send this vile and untalented boarish mutant of a human being off of my television screen and back to the wilds of Canada.
"Oh no, I don't read the blogs—you couldn't pay me to read the blogs. I don't want to know what people who can't even afford to eat in my restaurant, let alone know how to cook have to say about me, and the few comments I did read on Eater.com a few weeks back because my job asked me to read 'em. The best they could come up with was that I was ugly."
-Lisa Fernandes
She certainly is ugly, both inside and out. More importantly, though...SHE CANNOT COOK. Even if I had the money to afford to eat at her restaurant, I sure as hell wouldn't go there. The twat can't even get steamed rice right and hasn't come up with an innovative or successful dish all season. That, and her hygiene is disgusting. She'd probably drip beads of her lesbian hippie sweat in my food while badly preparing it.
I want to keep my money,
and give away absolutely nothing
to the government,
who moderates my spending
and obliterates depending
on what time of the year.
Brutality is NEAR.
In the form of income tax,
I'd rather take a fucking ax
to my face. Blow up this place
with you all in it
I'd do it in a minute.
If I could, I'd write off your murder.
I'd save all of my receipts,
because I'd rather you be dead
than lose a tiny shred
of what I made this fiscal year.
I'd rather you be dead,
than ponder parting with my second home.
I'd rather you be dead
than consider not opening a restaurant.
I'd rather you be dead.
I'd rather you be dead.
Prepare the laser beam.
We gonna use it tonight.
Engage the laser beam.
It's gonna end your life.
We're gonna use it tonight.
If I could I'd write off your murder
I'd save all of my receipts
because I'd rather you be dead
than lose a tiny shred
of what I made this fiscal year.
I'd rather you be dead,
than ponder parting with my second home.
I'd rather you be dead
than consider not opening a restaurant.
I'd rather you be dead.
I'd rather you be dead now.
I will be in the following places on the following days:
Sunday 9/2/2007 chicago, il Empty Bottle
Monday 9/3/2007 milwaukee, wi Points East
Tuesday 9/4/2007 minneapolis, mn Big V’s
Friday 9/7/2007 seattle, wa Funhouse
Saturday 9/8/2007 portland, or Tonic Lounge
I fly into O'Hare this Saturday evening. I'm still looking for a ride from the airport (I guess I can attempt to take the train) and a place to stay overnight, though I should be able to scrounge something up between all of the people that I know in Chicago.
Come out and see me. I probably won't be back in the Midwest until at least Christmastime.
My boyfriend left on tour this morning, which makes me very sad. However, his band is actually very good, despite what I said last night when I was threatening to break his fingers so he couldn't play.
You should go see them, especially if you're in the D.C. area because they don't know all that many people there and I promised that I would try to get my friends to attend the show. Feel free to introduce yourself as Mandroid's friend from Killoggs. They are all fantastic, hilarious geeky guys.
I have a '92 Toyota Corolla filled with amps, guitars, clothing, and assorted other possessions, and tomorrow it will depart the state of Wisconsin for my new home--Oakland, CA.
I'll be checking in when internet access is available in hotels if anyone wants to entertain me on my journey through a significantly boring portion of the country, but I hope that the SFC and Oakland Killoggers can make it out to welcome me to your fair region on Saturday night. One of my boyfriend's bands (Replicator) is playing that night. If you can't make to that show, there's another one with Melt Banana the following Saturday.
I hope to see some of you there, and K-mail me if you need my cell phone number. Weeeeeeeee!!
My flight made it to the San Jose airport last night, despite the worst turbulence I've ever experienced. Consequently, I spent my first night in California with vertigo and nausea, attempting to not vomit with only limited success.
I'll be here until May 5th, so let me know phone numbers if anyone wants to meet up with me.
Photos forthcoming, including gratuitous shots of the kitties for Meredith.
So, I'm now a baroness in my Tribal Wars tribe. That's pretty cool, even though I accidentally killed another one of my noblemen yesterday through my own carelessness and a steak of misfortune.
One of my duties as a member of the aristocracy is to answer the questions of my puny minions. Today, I had the opportunity to guide one of my fellow players into the confusing territory of nerd maturity.
Q: I know i'm not strong enough yet, but whats a reasonable amount of points that you should have on your first village, before considering a second one?
A: Invading a village is a natural and normal part of life. And so is battle. Having battle play — from raiding to scouting and from sending diplomatic correspondences to slaughtering entire armies — is a big decision. It involves many feelings and responsibilities.
Choosing to be in an ongoing village occupation is another big decision. There is a lot to consider.
Figuring out when you're ready for village conquest continues through life. People need to make decisions about invasions in their teens, 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, and beyond — every time a diplomatic situation develops.
It may seem as though everyone in your point category is taking small villages or plundering resources. This can make you feel that you should be, too. But the truth is that only about half of TW players have ever sent their noblemen on a quest to vanquish an opponent. Far fewer have done so on a regular basis. Many *name withheld for reasons of geekiness and potential espionage* tribe members who have pillaged wish that they had waited.
Your first conquest is a very special one, and you shouldn't feel obligated or pressured to invade until you are confident that you are absolutely ready and able to deal with the potential repercussions.
I need a job in the San Francisco area if at all possible.
I don't normally ask for assistance in finding jobs or places to live but this is urgent. Like, "Amanda is no longer able to cope with living here and needs to escape with whatever can fit in her small car" urgent. "Amanda loves her stuff but is sick of being emotionally abused" urgent. "Amanda got sucked into a shitty situation post-divorce but she is desperately trying to amend that mistake and will do almost anything other than prostitution" urgent.
Suggestion, connections, ANYTHING PLEASE. Help me get out of here before I lose the will to live completely. I'm not being overdramatic here. I am in a horrible situation that I will not delve into on the main page, my ego is pretty much non-existant at this point, and I have never moved anywhere for a reason other than school. I have about $2500 in savings and may get more if I find a bartending job for the next 1-2 months.
I also have a credit card with an $12,000 limit and am willing to use it.
If you see a place that is hiring while you are about, please get information for me. Really. This is very important. If you're at a restaurant and you notice that they are hiring cooks, ask for information. Tell them that your friend is an excellent culinary enthusiast in Wisconsin and wants to move elsewhere. Tell them that your friend has been making bernaise sauce since grade school and has yet to denature the egg proteins. Anything that you can think of is appreciated.
Killoggs helped me out once before when it bought me an airline ticket to D.C. right after I left my husband and needed to evacuate the state. I'm hoping that it will assist me again in a non-monetary manner, here.
Girls Against Boys played "Venus Luxure" in its entirety. I danced like the spastic retard I am to !!! with my friend Laura. The Ex made me want to play in a band again because I too want to play guitar until my hand is bleeding all over the pick-ups. Killdozer were...Killdozer (so-- awesome). Sally Timms' joke about David Yow's "fantastic penis" being kept in a jar backstage made me giggle hysterically, especially with the British accented delivery. I love how Brits seem so proper, even whilst speaking of the cock of Yow. Man...Or Astroman? were brilliant and I think that I am in love with their drummer, who threw his drums into the audience at the end of their set.
Big Black were somewhat disappointing and lacked energy (probably due to admittedly not being excited to play), but Shellac's set blew me away despite some shitty sound. Their rendition of "Billiard Player Song" had me smiling and misty eyed the entire way through, though I wanted to punch the douchebags behind me who kept yelling for Steve to get to the rock part. They played "The Radio Song" as the wind picked up and the Sears Tower's peak gradually dithered into the mist and clouds on the horizon behind the stage.
"We'd like to thank our sponsor, but there is no sponsor. It's the end of radio."
I am so happy at this moment, and so anxious to move to Milwaukee and finally work on music again, and I have yet to see Black Heart Procession, Three Mile Pilot, or Enon. I love this weekend.
Touch & Go's 25th Anniversary Celebration draws near. Is anyone else from Killoggs going, or will I be drooling over a certain special recording engineer all by my lonesome?
I quit my job, my job does not want to quit me, I'm entirely lost, and I am either moving to Milwaukee or Grand Marais or Perth, or I may still be guttng game animals in Mozambique with Arnie. Not sure. If you have a cause for me to pursue I'm potentially there.
Hi, Killoggs. I once more succumb to your intrigue.
Some old dude told me that I am a "very sexy young woman" this morning, after I pointed him to the rosin-core solder section of the store.
So, you can eat eggs on Fridays during Lent without it being considered a chicken but a fertilized human egg has a life which begins at conception and is quantified as being human when fertilized? What?!
