Kiddo had just drifted off to sleep, letting the nipple slip out of his mouth as he rolled over to cuddle his dad. Tranquil domestic scene. I'm still awake, can't sleep, so I sit up and am about to get out of bed. Something drops from out of nowhere. A smallish black figure scurries across the blanket. Spider. Spider on my sleeping family. Oh, hell no.

I squashed him quietly, with two bare fingers. I wiped his corpse from my bedsheet with a flannel receiving blanket, and I laid him to rest in my fuckin' garbage can, because, motherfucker, you don't crawl on my family while we sleep. Because fuck you, I'm bigger than you, and this is my house.

Sleep tight, Killoggs.