I don't like this new Gap commercial with Audrey Hepburn in skinny black pants dancing all around. She was too skinny anyway, and now she's dead, and they shouldn't be using her skinny corpse to sell pants.

Being that I'm a temporary stay-at-home mom with unhealthy tendencies, I've been watching WAY too much television this past month. It's been a month since this little boy came out of my body and into my life, and since then I've been living in a small box in northern Virginia, not wearing a shirt (what's the point?), and watching TV. I would watch more movies, but I hate them, plus we lost the DVD remote somewhere.

Apparently Julia Louis-Dreyfus' dad is a French billionaire. Her brother used to be president of Adidas. The "Prime Time in the Daytime" programming on the TNT network is targeted at women losers. You can tell because all the commercials are for douche and night school. 'ER' is very poorly written after about the third season. If all TV could be as good as good TV, then I wouldn't feel so guilty about blowing out my brain on all this TV.

For all you people that think I should be paying attention to my baby instead of eating cookies and watching TV all day, I DO. He's only a month old, his attention span isn't conducive to Baby Einstein and flash cards, no matter what childrearing knowledge you may have gleaned from "Meet The Fockers". I'm making my baby fat and stupid on purpose, so he'll fit in.

When my mother-in-law came over tonight to hang out with the kid, I took the liberty of going to the store to replenish our unhealthy food collection. My husband has strict instructions to hide all the cookies after I go to bed, because if they're in sight, I'll eat them all. Nursing really takes it out of you, and it's so much easier to just grab a cookie than make yourself a salad. Although I suppose it would be just as easy (though less euphoric) to grab an apple.

Egon Spengler was the cutest Ghostbuster.

I'm really, really at my wit's end.