A quick suggestion about searching for rooms:

The ad read: MY LAST ROOMATE FLAKED OUT ON ME AND SO I NEED A NEW ONE... I NEED SOMEONE TO MOVE IN THE 5TH OF THE MONTH NO LATER ...FIRST MONTH AND 200 DEPOSIT. LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT TO COME BY AND LOOK AT THE PLACE. ANYTIME THIS WEEKEND THANK YOU AND HAVE A NICE DAY...

I should have noticed the words: FLAKE, NEED, NICE---and the ripped screen door in the front.. The mailbox read: J. LEACH (yet another clue: "damnmit, breckany: observe!!)" A man in his mid-20's sat on the couch fuming cigarette smoke & ashing on the couch said, "I reckon you kin' come on in, mmmhhhmmm" (if he had been been rubbing his hands land holding a long sharp object, he could be mistaken for Billy Bob in Slingblade)...I decided to leave the front door open (granted it was falling off its hinges anyway).

He lead me beyond the crusted dishes in the kitchen and hairballs in the sink to the upstairs room that smelled like someone had just been murdered. (When he mentioned the "HUGE walk in closet", this was my first thought)...

"Well, the last guy here just done DISAPPEARED-I dunno if he's coming back, so the room is open."...(note to self: This is HINT # 6,998,867.5)

"HEY, where you from anyway? You got really PURTY EYES!"

My response: "Anywhere but here."

Best luck home-hunting.