I've come across this problem in the work environment that I'm not sure how to handle so I thought maybe you guys could help. I've been at it in tourism sales for about 7 years, worked in tourism since college, and I just had a birthday that put me just under 31.
The problem I'm having is when I encounter business associates over 45 years old who in conversation say "I could have a child your age" or "You were probably just a baby when I did such and such" or "You probably don't know about that because you weren't born yet".
Just yesterday I was at lunch with 3 people who were all over 45 and this part of the conversation lasted way longer than I would've liked it to. Another time I was out after a convention with a bunch of people at a bar and when I played Creedence Clearwater on the juke box somebody said " What's this! Did your daddy tell you about that song?" and everybody laughed.
I am tired of this kind of humor and don't see what the point is. I am flattered to be young but the impression they give me is that because I'm young I'm stupid and don't know anything about anything. The only thing I can do is not laugh and change the subject but I could use some clever responses to these stupid remarks.
anthony [email] said at 6:14 PM 01-06-2006: I would drop something along the lines of "I hope I'm further ahead career wise than you by the time I'm your age"
or
"How does it feel to be showing retired couples your age what they should be doing for vacation? I can't imagine how I'd keep from feeling like a failure"
art [email] said at 6:15 PM 01-06-2006: What's this! Did your daddy tell you about that song?" and everybody laughed was a pretty rude thing for them to say, but i'm not sure you can do much about it except impress upon them that you're not wet behind the ears and that you know your shit - that's the best revenge.
I think it's just inter-generational badgering and it works both ways. Last week at our company christmas party a teenage friend of an employee made a crack about how he was in diapers when I did something or other and I laughed and told him someday he will be standing where I am and some young punk will be saying that to him. The thought had never crossed his mind.
ed [email] said at 6:15 PM 01-06-2006: As an old guy, I can assure you that it's jealousy/discomfort.
I (as if you couldn't tell by my presence on Killoggs) tend to hang out with younger folks on a regular basis. And when minor things annoy me (for example, Katie Melua's cover of "Without You" is cited as a Mariah Carey song), I tend to overreact. But it's much less a slam (real or perceived) on your youth as it is a lament about being able to remember things that happened before (the theoretical) you were born.
Yes, I could have a daughter your age.
But that's not a badge of honor, as some people might wish it to be. Rather, it is a sorrowful interjection into a conversation that does nothing other than to assert that I am old and have unresolved issues in the past that I shore up with bravado, rather than confronting.
myriam [email] said at 6:18 PM 01-06-2006: Man, I have been battling this one BAD lately. I HATE IT. You have my utmost, complete sympathy.
It's an odd situation because I can never help but sit there and think, "and yet I am so much more professional than you are..." and then I just feel even more uncomfortable.
denman [email] said at 6:20 PM 01-06-2006: Um...you're upset because they are old, insecure, not too bright, and ignorantly take that out on you?
You could be me, look alot younger than you actually are, and therefore have your own peers treat you that way. (I actually had a guy pull that same CCR shit with me...only it was a PIXIES SONG!!!??? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!??!!?!?)
julie [email] said at 7:45 PM 01-06-2006: Oh MAN, I hate this so much. I work with probably 90% old dudes, and there are a couple of them who greet me with "Hey there, Kiddo!" One time, I said, "Hey there, Gramps" to one of them (the more jocular & annoying one) and he avoided me for a while after that. But you also can't really go around alienating all the old dudes you work with, either.
Most of the time I just grin and bear it. Or, actually, I deliberately DON'T grin, I just kind of look at them with a mild confused expression on my face.
I think lots of oldsters have a hard time differentiating age in the 15-35 group. They think we all look alike. Once, I shut some people up very quickly by explaining that No, I'm NOT "just out of college," thank you. They really just see a young person and think MIckey Mouse Club.
But the next time someone says "I have a son your age!" you should say, "Wow, really? Huh, weird, you look a LOT older than my parents."
kevin [email] said at 8:29 PM 01-06-2006: i think it's weird when people older than you are talking to you about pop songs they grew up with or whatever and they are getting the facts/details all wrong about the music or whatever, and you the younger human know they are wrong and you gotta decide whether to call 'em on it or just let it slide!
jake [email] said at 10:09 PM 01-06-2006: I get this sort of thing a lot. Actually, because of my parents and my oddball interests, I do know about things that are way out of my age bracket...
I usually come back with something borderline rude and ironically obtuse, like "OOhhh... is this band old? Like from before the internet and poptarts?"
Or I'll just throw a fish-eyed stare and say... "You don't know my parents, do you?"
pokey [email] said at 10:40 PM 01-06-2006: I had a supervisor once, when I asked to take a break n gain my composure after my doctor gave me a bunch of shit about my nose ring and hepatitis, tell me, "Well sweety, she's a grown-up and I am sure she knows what she is talking about." I was 23.
In your situation, I would complement them on their longevity in the field, as it is surprising that someone so old would still be around.
reggie [email] said at 10:30 AM 01-07-2006: I think I may have gotten it the worst of all, cuz I worked directly with music (I also think that at times, there was an unintentional racial issue as well--I mean old white men just don't believe that a 20 something year old black dude can talk to them about the Clash, Eric Clapton, Bob Dylan or Johnny Cash.)
But I'd get so many people who are not only my parent's age but most likely YOUNGER and would act so surprised that I'd no who someone as common as Al Green or Sam Cooke is.
They have our age mixed with the teenagers below us who really don't know. We have parents, many of us have older siblings, older cousins, aunts, uncles it just might be possible -- call me crazy -- that maybe we learned something from them. I know, I know that's crazytalk! But yes it is possible that at a very young age, many of probably listened to our parent's records (and yes, we do know what vinyl is!) or, I'm just throwin this out there, maybe some of us even had some of our own.
Work in the music retail industry and you'll get that condescension every day you work, I guarantee.
mary [email] said at 11:13 AM 01-07-2006: I agree that they are doing this out of insecurity and discomfort. I'd just politely ignore it. Though I have had some fun just running with the exxageration and having some fun with it:
What's this! Did your daddy tell you about that song?
No, my babysitter. She plays CCR in the morning when she brings me to work.
meredith [email] said at 3:52 PM 01-07-2006: I get these comments a lot. It no longer bothers me. If it goes on and on, I just usually say, "enOUGH, children, can we talk about something new?" I have been with my company for two years. I've had a birthday and I'll be having another in a couple of months. My boss has me stuck at 23. Every time my age comes up, he'll go, "You're, how old, twenty-three?" No, mister, I'm twenty-seven and you need to pay me more.
anotherben [email] said at 9:00 PM 01-09-2006: tell them you are a 7,000 year old demon scouting their realm, and that john fogerty was something you fashioned out of camel dung to make the 70's more bearable amongst the youth of that era. after you say this it would be really send home the message if you caused blood to squirt out of your eyes and burst into flame.
Oona said at 10:48 AM 01-10-2006: I could have daughters your age. In fact I do - and you know who. I work at the University so I work with lots of younger people and I try to always be respectful and mindful. I know better, too, I read Killoggs! I have never said anything like what you all have expressed experiencing and blanketly apologize for my generation. I know they are an officious and arrogant lot who think they started everything. I think those who make those kind of comments think they are being cute and it does probably stem from being considered over the hill, or at least approaching the hill, facing their own immortality and not being able to do a damn thing about it. So when they say stuff like that just smile and say "Yeah, I'm young. And you're not."
