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Bendependent

DIRTFARM #46: Exclusive News!

Wanna help me with this week's comic? It doesn't go to print until around 6pm tonight.

This is what I got sofar...

I'm not really happy with the dialogue in the 5th panel (the Bush & Kanye West panel). Whoever can come up with a better one, I will send you this original drawing of hurricane katrina partying it up in New Or-Leens...

I'd like it to still convey the same meaning if possible (caring about money more than people) if possible, but i'm open to other suggestions...

feel free to post this elsewhere.

thanks.

[ 67 responses ] < Dirtfarm Comic > < link >

[ posted by Bendependent at 09/14/2005 07:21:07 AM ]
[ trackback ]

Threaded Responses [ bottom ]

Bendependent [email] said at 7:26 AM 09-14-2005:
maybe "only black i care about is the sweet sweet black of OIL!"

i don't know...

[Reply To this] [#188613]

jake [email] said at 3:09 PM 09-14-2005:
I like this one best.

I'd also like it if there was dialogue back and forth (maybe a longer panel stretching into the other column?)

Kanye: President Bush, it seems like you don't really care about black people's problems?

Bush: Well aren't you rude! You should always start a talk with something polite, son, like "How's the weather?"

Kanye: (fumes in shock)

Bush: Just kidding with you Westie! You know the only black I care about is the sweet sweet black of oil!"

[Reply To this] [#188710]

jake [email] said at 3:19 PM 09-14-2005:
Hmm. With or without the dialogue, Panel 6 could be changed to "Now you're talking!"

I dunno, somehow that panel seems less angry?

The headline could be:
EXCLUSIVE NEWS
We looted an abandoned news stand
To bring you this jive report!

[Reply To this] [#188716]

ed [email] said at 7:58 AM 09-14-2005:
"Of course I care about black people! Condi's sorta black!"

[Reply To this] [#188614]

milky [email] said at 9:58 AM 09-14-2005:
Ed, I LOVE IT!

[Reply To this] [#188638]

ed [email] said at 7:59 AM 09-14-2005:
PS - panel 3 is pure brilliance.

[Reply To this] [#188615]

dave [email] said at 8:32 AM 09-14-2005:
nursing off a tattooed USA tit is every man's dream.

[Reply To this] [#188616]

jeff [email] said at 8:45 AM 09-14-2005:
I thought people were being held up at gunpoint for gas, not oil.

[Reply To this] [#188617]

myriam [email] said at 8:54 AM 09-14-2005:
Panel 3 is AWESOME and surprising. Panel 2 I feel could be a little more fake-terroristy or something... the "yeah, you dipshits!" is funny but not as funny as something more fake-fear-mongery... "we've been hiding here for 92 years, waiting to take you out!" what do the insurgents call us Americans again???? there's a word, i can't remember it. maybe he could say, "yeah, you xxxxx" instead of dipshits... I dunno.

[Reply To this] [#188619]

josh [email] said at 11:32 AM 09-14-2005:
deep cover levees
sleeper levees

[Reply To this] [#188661]

myriam [email] said at 11:42 AM 09-14-2005:
sleeper levees!

[Reply To this] [#188664]

woody [email] said at 11:37 AM 09-14-2005:
infidels?

[Reply To this] [#188663]

myriam [email] said at 11:46 AM 09-14-2005:
yeah... i thought it was something with more punch...

[Reply To this] [#188668]

myriam [email] said at 3:20 PM 09-14-2005:
Ok, after a brief poll of my own coworker, we think it would be funnier if it were "sleeper levee terrorist video" and *definitely* if it said "infidels!" instead of dipshits. :D

also the coworker thought that michael brown panel is solid gold.

[Reply To this] [#188718]

myriam [email] said at 8:58 AM 09-14-2005:
would it be funnier or less funny if bush's thing rhymed? maybe rhymed lamely? he *is* going head to head after all.

[Reply To this] [#188621]

denman [email] said at 9:01 AM 09-14-2005:
Hey how about "Don't Worry Kanye, when Trent Lott gets his new house, you can serve us lemonade on the porch!"

[Reply To this] [#188622]

denman [email] said at 9:17 AM 09-14-2005:
Adendum:
"...in a little black butler outfit..."
or
"...and call me 'Massa'."

[Reply To this] [#188626]

myriam [email] said at 9:21 AM 09-14-2005:
OOOOOOH that one's GOOD

[Reply To this] [#188627]

milky [email] said at 10:00 AM 09-14-2005:
I dig it as is, denman.

[Reply To this] [#188639]

reggie [email] said at 10:21 AM 09-14-2005:
agreed

[Reply To this] [#188646]

zack [email] said at 11:14 AM 09-14-2005:
this one's good.

[Reply To this] [#188657]

carla [email] said at 9:01 AM 09-14-2005:
The first panel is my favorite.

[Reply To this] [#188623]

reggie [email] said at 9:24 AM 09-14-2005:
Okay this is gonna be lame but...

"You're just jealous 'cuz Jesus walks...with ME!!!"

"Kanye chill out, we have a lot in common. You dropped out of college and I barely have a high school education!"

[Reply To this] [#188628]

reggie [email] said at 9:26 AM 09-14-2005:
No wait how 'bout:

"Kanye chill out, we have a lot in common. You dropped out of college and I have the I.Q. of an 18 year-old!"

[Reply To this] [#188629]

carla [email] said at 9:53 AM 09-14-2005:
But what about all the 18 year olds out there that are probably way more intelligent than the president?

[Reply To this] [#188635]

carla [email] said at 9:53 AM 09-14-2005:
or wait, was that the joke?

[Reply To this] [#188637]

reggie [email] said at 10:04 AM 09-14-2005:
Nah, don't give me that much credit. I said "an" 18 year old, not all 18 year olds.

However, you're probably right so I'll just say that no offense was intended to any 18 year olds who are smarter than Dubya.

[Reply To this] [#188641]

josh [email] said at 3:15 PM 09-14-2005:
actually younger people have higher IQs

[Reply To this] [#188713]

reggie [email] said at 10:06 AM 09-14-2005:
"Kanye I do care about black people is just that when they told me the levee broke I thought they were talking about Led Zeppelin!"

[Reply To this] [#188642]

kiche [email] said at 10:09 AM 09-14-2005:
i think that panel 5 is good as is.

i wouldn't change it if i were you.

[Reply To this] [#188643]

reggie [email] said at 10:22 AM 09-14-2005:
"Kanye I do care about black people I mean we need somebody to take up all the space in our jails!"

[Reply To this] [#188647]

kevin [email] said at 10:40 AM 09-14-2005:
"kanye, you're doing a heck of a job!"

or gw could quote a kanye lyric while he dances:

"...Drug dealer buy Jordans, crackhead buy crack
And a white man get paid off of all of that ..."

[Reply To this] [#188648]

reggie [email] said at 10:46 AM 09-14-2005:
The second suggestion is awesome.

[Reply To this] [#188649]

myriam [email] said at 11:02 AM 09-14-2005:
both of these are good

[Reply To this] [#188652]

brian [email] said at 11:10 AM 09-14-2005:
i'm way down with denman's suggestion.

[Reply To this] [#188655]

ericanm [email] said at 11:19 AM 09-14-2005:
bush should make kanye his lawn jockey

[Reply To this] [#188659]

josh [email] said at 11:34 AM 09-14-2005:
i liked it when you were going to have kanye be his little bear thing

[Reply To this] [#188662]

kiche [email] said at 11:50 AM 09-14-2005:
how about, "the only black people i care about are my wealthy friends' lawn jockeys."

[Reply To this] [#188669]

michele [email] said at 12:10 PM 09-14-2005:
i dont like the 4th panel... seems kinda baseless. i'd put something about trent lott's porch instead... something about "katrina ground zero" and a rocking chair being broken and bush sobbing over the tragedy.

and as far as panel 5 goes lemme just quote what i was once told by a person while working at Raisin' Canes. "I may black and you may be white, but this is GREEEEEN!"

- evan

[Reply To this] [#188674]

michele [email] said at 12:13 PM 09-14-2005:
"course i care bout black folks. i'm fightin a war for oil so we can keep fryin chicken!"

[Reply To this] [#188675]

michele [email] said at 12:14 PM 09-14-2005:
michele's gonna be bummed that i'm posting under her name... that was me (evan) above again

[Reply To this] [#188676]

kiche [email] said at 12:29 PM 09-14-2005:
this is pretty good.

[Reply To this] [#188679]

neilbert said at 3:07 PM 09-14-2005:
ben, you should enlarge the Michael Brown "Charlie Brown" panel and send it to all of the Newspapers in the country, it's really fucking good and really funny.

[Reply To this] [#188709] [ip: logged]

kiche [email] said at 4:18 PM 09-14-2005:
you're right, that is the best panel.

[Reply To this] [#188727]

jake [email] said at 4:07 PM 09-14-2005:
Hey Ben, it's probably too late, but if you wanted a Supreme Court/Roberts reference:

SENATOR: Mr. Roberts, will you just tell us, honestly, do you stand with President Bush on Roe vs. Wade?

ROBERTS: Mr. Senator, I think people need to get out of New Orleans however they can!

[Reply To this] [#188725]

kiche [email] said at 4:19 PM 09-14-2005:
now where did you hear that one?

[Reply To this] [#188728]

jake [email] said at 4:48 PM 09-14-2005:
Somebody emailed it to me in that form, and I revised it to make it about roberts.

The punchline is probably better with "New Orleans" as the last words....or ANY WAY THEY CAN!

[Reply To this] [#188730]

jake [email] said at 5:16 PM 09-14-2005:
Yeah, the original is clearly making the rounds.

[Reply To this] [#188736]

Bendependent [email] said at 4:44 PM 09-14-2005:
these are all pretty amazing.

thanks you guys.

i'm still not sure which one to go with. a lot of these would be really good if i had time to redraw the panel (like ed's condi reference). I think denman's is pretty amazing (and it would fit with what i've got drawn pretty well).

the other option is to just simplify what i've got...

"Only black I care about is the color of oil!"

What do you guys think? Please vote quickly. I've got about 45 minutes left on this...

[Reply To this] [#188729]

jake [email] said at 4:50 PM 09-14-2005:
I like the "sweet sweet black" line you put up first.

I also like my looting headlines joke.

[Reply To this] [#188731]

josh [email] said at 5:13 PM 09-14-2005:
SWEET SWEET CRUDE

[Reply To this] [#188733]

kevin [email] said at 5:14 PM 09-14-2005:
yeah.. that is why i suggested the kanye lyric. no redrawing. gw is already dancin' and all you would have to do is change what the words.

[Reply To this] [#188734]

ed [email] said at 5:14 PM 09-14-2005:
"Only black I care about is the color of oil!"

Works better than the original, and doesn't require redrawing. Sounds good to me.

[Reply To this] [#188735]

Bendependent [email] said at 5:37 PM 09-14-2005:
so you guys don't think i should go with the denman one?

i'm very tempted to go there...

[Reply To this] [#188738]

denman [email] said at 5:40 PM 09-14-2005:
I'm pretty tempted to go with Den...oh wait...(Anyway, have any of YOU guys ever shaken hands with Trent Lott? It's a very terrifying experience, and at a protest against him no less!?)

[Reply To this] [#188739]

jake [email] said at 5:41 PM 09-14-2005:
Maybe you could have him say that in #6?

[Reply To this] [#188740]

myriam [email] said at 6:33 PM 09-14-2005:
I SAY DENMAN'S

it's WAY funnier than sweet oil

[Reply To this] [#188743]

andrew [email] said at 10:34 PM 09-14-2005:
leave it the way it is. it's better when it is ridiculous.

[Reply To this] [#188773]

denman [email] said at 5:50 PM 09-14-2005:
You know maybe you could put one in the pannel, and the other could be an alternate which is where the astrick takes us. More bullets for your buck.

[Reply To this] [#188741]

Bendependent [email] said at 7:12 PM 09-14-2005:
yes!!!

thanks again you guys!

and thanks Denman.... I ended up using yours in panel 5 and mine in panel 6 like you suggested. send me your mailing address, and i'll send you hotttttttt miss katrina...

this is the final version...

[Reply To this] [#188761]

jess [email] said at 7:31 PM 09-14-2005:
It's excellent.

[Reply To this] [#188762]

reggie [email] said at 10:09 PM 09-14-2005:
Me likes.

[Reply To this] [#188768]

jake [email] said at 10:51 PM 09-14-2005:
Dude you totally fucked it up.
Way to fuck up a good cartoon Ben.
Why weren't you prepared for this?
Why weren't you ready?
You need to head up a task-force to figure out how these mistakes were made.
Dammit!

[Reply To this] [#188777]

lusterkaboom said at 12:30 AM 09-15-2005:
haha thats funny. thats the best one you ever done.

[Reply To this] [#188784] [ip: logged]

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[Reply To this] [#198092] [ip: logged]

jake [email] said at 12:25 PM 11-04-2005:
I would reconsider mailing you a ziplock bag of dogshit but the post office frowns on that sort of retraction...

[Reply To this] [#198136]

ed [email] said at 1:15 PM 11-04-2005:
Well, I gotta give her credit. Her search term was "Jesus Christ", so at least she didn't type that up after having gotten here searching for "tentacle rape porn" or something like that.

[Reply To this] [#198143]