While looking for a new stick of deodorant today, I noticed that gone are the days of simple scents. They have replaced words like "spice" and "powder" with the most asinine descriptions, some so absurd that I had to write it down in the middle of the drugstore. So, here I share with you the cream of the crop:
Phoenix
Voodoo
Kilo
Essence
Orion
Lucky Day
Midnight
Afterhours
Unlimited
Adrenaline
Overdrive
Accelerate
Ionic
Victory
Energy
Chill
Clean Slate
Silver Ice
and my favorite: Dynamic Pulse
abby [email] said at 10:24 AM 06-29-2005: a couple months ago there was an article in the post style section about axe and its competitors, and the marketing behind names like these. all this sit smells so fucked up and nasty also.
the axe effect is not a deoderizing or antiperspirant one! its simply an all over body spray bath and body works carnival for men, and thats how people most certainly wear it, head to toe, and they smell fucking unbearable.
male college freshmen are like the saggy aunts of our time.
chuck [email] said at 11:51 AM 06-29-2005: Yeah, I witnessed a group that fit the college freshmen profile get out of their car and spray each other down with Axe. There was a faint smell of weed that accompanied them as well.
shauna [email] said at 12:15 PM 06-29-2005: wasn't that the weirdest article? that smell, or anything that smells like "cool water" (the bane of my pre-teen existence) makes me nauseated and sort of angry!
i like my men to smell like cigarettes, liquor, and gaultier. and stinky a little. and a little fat. and hairy.
julie [email] said at 3:29 PM 06-29-2005: Sorry, Ed, if I disclosed any confidential members-only info to that fucking infidel, art, without your consent. It won't happen again.
matthew [email] said at 12:29 PM 06-29-2005: While stuffing our faces with hog meat at the National Barbeque Battle on Penn. Ave last Sunday, the ladyfriend and I were constantly handed free samples of a variety of random products--including small boxes of cereal, teriyaki sauce, toothpaste, and, yes, little mini deodorants.
The deodorant I was handed was the bare bones Speed Stick "Regular" scent. Regular! This was very helpful as I had just recently ran out of deodorant. So I've been wearing it the last couple of days. It smells weird--but in a familiar, comforting way that can only be described as the smell of all it was television commercials had me thinking made a man A MAN before I was actually old enough to know what being a man was all about (let alone old enough to require deodorant). It's like Old Spice, but good.
I keep smelling manliness in the office and sniff the air to find the source, only to realize that it's coming from ME! This deodorant completes my transition to full-blown adulthood. I am now, officially, ALL MAN.
cecil [email] said at 1:32 PM 06-29-2005: I'm a Tom's of Maine Unscented man. which actually has a scent but I guess it just makes the BO palatable or something. It puts the suger in my coffee.
brad [email] said at 1:35 PM 06-29-2005: I remember seeing a commercial for Brut deodorant -- I think it was Brut (maybe the cologne) -- and you hear a voice-over of a woman talking about how she likes MANLY men. At the end of it, she says, "Where have you boys been!" and you see a bunch of pretty boy, clean-cut models with hair oh so neatly groomed, sitting on Harley Davidsons. They all looked like they worked on Wall Street. It should have been a commercial for a cologne called "Mid-life Crisis."
brandon [email] said at 4:02 PM 06-29-2005: I just looked at my deodorant just to see what I have. I'm currently in possession of a dwindling supply of clean slate with fresh blast in reserve.
brandon [email] said at 4:09 PM 06-29-2005: Generally, if you stay away from things Bod and Axe body sprays which are odious, you're good to go with your deodorant. Old Spice draws positive comments when I wear it, but only because you can smell it, and the other stuff you generally can't.
brianbibbly [email] said at 4:12 PM 06-29-2005: What the fuck ever happened to good ole' Unscented deodorant? I can't find the shit for the life of me now. I used to buy Degree "Shower Clean" which has a faint powdery smell, but now they changed the line to Degree MEN which, unsurprisingly, all have retarded MANLY musky smells. It pisses me off because I have now turned into Johnny Smell due to the Bumble and Bumble shampoo mixing with the DEGREE MEN SUPER MUSK SPORT shit and my faint Armani cologne (no it is not Aqua De Gio, I HATE that shit).
milky [email] said at 4:20 PM 06-29-2005: Lookee here lawyah, you better stay away from that Musk shit...pretty soon alla women around you gonna associate that smell wif gettin fucked inna ass.
milky [email] said at 4:25 PM 06-29-2005: I dunno about all THAT, but keep playing around with that Musk...women gonna think you the damn devil, wif hoofs and shit...
brianbibbly [email] said at 4:27 PM 06-29-2005: It's not MUSK per se, but more like a light SPICE or some shit. Man, I dont know. It smells CLEAN, if you know what I MEAN.
milky [email] said at 4:31 PM 06-29-2005: You knew those brothers and the occasional redneck that smelled like musk...you didn't play sports? Shit smelled like a boar bathing in cheap, coppery cologne. Not CLEAN, more like "DIDN'T HAVE TIME TO BATHE, BITCH C'MERE!"
Not the hairnet, wifebeater AQUA VELVA mf's...same concept, different spectrum (C'mere, I'm god's gift white women...this hairnet's to keep the coolness IN, I never wear the same undershirt twice kinda thing).
brianbibbly [email] said at 4:36 PM 06-29-2005: No, dude, my shit smells good, trust me. I didn't pay $185 for cologne that makes me smell like a redneck.
shauna [email] said at 5:09 PM 06-29-2005: that's what i'm talkin' bout. versace and gaultier both make very sexxxy subtle colognes. the versace smells like chopped wood and grass, with a hint of tobacco leaf. they both come in really, really gay bottles.
brianbibbly [email] said at 5:20 PM 06-29-2005: Indeed. I used to wear the Gautier stuff. The bottle is tres gay. My big three I wear and ones I recommend for the dudes:
julie [email] said at 4:36 PM 06-29-2005: I don't know... I like certain smells, but I like a man to smell like a man, not like perfume.
The guys I know in my office who wear cologne smell like they BATHED in it. That's a big problem, I think-- guys use way too much. They direct-douse when they should mist & walk thru.
julie [email] said at 4:36 PM 06-29-2005: What I mean is, you shouldn't really be able to smell cologne on a man unless you're, like, in his arms or whatever. In the next cubicle? No.
art said at 5:35 PM 06-29-2005: she's not yearning for foreign men, she's got a hankerin' for american women (not that there is anything wrong with that)
