Hi, I'm Wilford Brimley. Welcome to Retardation: A Celebration. Hopefully with this book I'm going to dispel a few myths, a few rumors. First off the retarded don't rule the night. They don't rule it, nobody does. They don't run in packs and while they may not be as strong as apes, don't lock eyes with 'em. Don't do it, puts 'em on edge. They might go into bezerker mode, come at you like a whirling dervish, all fists and elbows. You might be screamin' 'no! no! no!' and all they hear is 'who wants cake?'
Let me tell you something. They all do. They all want cake.
I guess the most important thing to remember is: they're just like you and me.