"I mean, it's funny when it's other people. But it's extremely not-funny when it's me." - brandon
 

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  Wed

Bendependent





"hey ben, this is buzz..."

3:30 pm------------------------------

Buzz is gonna call again soon. I just know it. He's called like 40 times in the last two days asking how I'm treating his comic.

Buzz (P.J. O'Ross) is a guy I know who does a comic called Stinkfish in the CityPaper. He's quite a character. He kinda reminds me of an older version of Nathan. He's quite full of energy. I met him at a CityPaper party about a year ago, and we've been hanging out ever since. When I met him he had drank quite a bit of boxed wine, was wearing these crazy glasses and an american flag tie, and was taking pictures of everyone with a Nickelodeon Fun Blaster camera. He drives the messiest station wagon in the world, and noone really knows if he's homeless or a millionaire. It doesn't make much sense. He originally got his cartoon in the paper by paying $400 a week to run it as an ad. He apparently did this for months before they finally just told him that he could have the space. If you met him, you'd probably think he was homeless, but he always tells me that he owns a bunch of houses and has a lot of money. One day I asked him where he got all his money from and he paused for a second and said. "I can't tell you that. I assure you it was nothing illegal though." He paused again and then said, "I will tell you this though... Let's just say that I took a sting and tied it to something and put it out into the Gulf of Mexico... That's all I'm gonna tell you..."

???

For a while last year he was running my head in his cartoons. He made me into the young version of his characters the "Schwarm Triplets: Buzzy, Lefty, and Runt Schwarm". The comic itself is quite a hard thing to describe, so I'm just gonna scan one and put it here so you can see it for yourself. Buzz also has a < a href="http://www.bendependent.com/stinkfish/">website. I saved it from getting deleted by one of the free hosting sites a while back. I have a few pictures of him, but they aren't very good. There are a couple of them on his website. He's the guy with the drawn on purple mohawk. Here's one that's up on josh's site of him playing with my gumball machine. I need to fix his page. If you want to open one of the images, right click (ctrl+click for macs) on it and open the image in a new window...

Anyway, Buzz is in the hospital, and he asked me to do his cartoon this week. It was pretty hard to do. I can't imagine making something so insane every week. I tried to post a picture this morning after I finished it at 6:08 am. It was a funny picture too. I had pigtails in my hair so that it wasn't in front of my face. I've been putting my hear into a big crazy spike thing lately while I draw so i can see. I'll post the picture in the responses later cos due to the magic that is killoggs, it didn't work this morning.

sorry for the tangent...

Anyway, Buzz has been doing Stinkfish for like 5 years now or something. He has called me from the hospital every 30 minutes or so telling me things to put in the cartoon. He has also called EVERYONE else at the paper several times. He called Josh yesterday too. He's on a phone abusing frenzy. It's just a matter of time before he strikes again. Last night Jason told him that I had decided to just run an old Garfield cartoon in place of his cartoon... and that it really wasn't even a funny one. He kinda freaked out over that. It was pretty funny. Anyway, here's what I came up with. I think it kinda captures the spirit of a Stinkfish cartoon. It's one of the craziest things I've ever made though. I think I'm gonna try to go visit Buzz in the hospital. I need to find some wheels.

I had to draw a bunch of new heart people for the paper this week too. They were to run as a full page ad, but as of today it has been cut to a half page (which means half of the characters get cut). The ad's headline is just "Find Love", and the text just consists of different Matches ads that were placed in the classifieds. I had to read them all and turn them into heart people. It was a lot like drawing the killoggs heads, but with hearts instead. The top has a Sherlock Holmes heart and a girl heart with a telescope thingy, and the heart types I illustrated were that of a dork, a middle aged gay professor, a retired boxer, a hip girl with clunky shoes, a young gay doctor, a silly girl, a yuppie, a girl wanting guitar lessons, and a leather wearing vegetarian. See if you can tell which one is which...

5:30 pm------------------------------

So I think Buzz has officially called everyone who works at the paper. He got someone to fax him the cartoon that I made for him. I think he quit calling me directly because of it. Now I keep getting transcribed notes from random people who work here that I barely know...



[ posted by Bendependent at 02/06/2002 06:05:24 PM ]
[ trackback ]



Threaded Responses [ bottom ]
xmeredithx [email] said at 7:06 PM 02-06-2002:
gawd, ben, that post rules. the heart in the upper right corner looks suspiciously like linus, i guess that's the "dork" heart. or the gay professor.

and without being an evil editor, popular is spelled wrong in the stinkfish cartoon......*embarrassed, she quietly puts away red pencil*.....
Bendependent [email] said at 7:18 PM 02-06-2002:
Believe it or not, Buzz made damn sure that I spelled popular wrong. That was more important to him than ANYTHING else in the cartoon. I forgot to mention that in the post...
Bendependent [email] said at 7:22 PM 02-06-2002:
Actually, he wanted me to make the entire top of it how i made it...
Bendependent [email] said at 7:27 PM 02-06-2002:
Correction:

I will tell you this though... Let's just say that I took a piece of string and tied it to something and put it out into the Gulf of Mexico... That's all I'm gonna tell you..."
buster said at 8:14 PM 02-06-2002:
When did the Hamburger Helper dude start giving massages??
[Reply To this] [#25240] [ip: logged]
zack [email] said at 10:57 PM 02-06-2002:
You should post more, Ben. That was priceless.

You also managed to somehow approximate the deranged mind of a "folk artist".
Shell said at 11:47 AM 02-07-2002:
Great post--and as for stinkfish, I liked that all the coupons expired in January :).
[Reply To this] [#25259] [ip: logged]
milky [email] said at 1:24 PM 02-07-2002:
Another marathon bendepedent post...cool, very cool. I don't know him but I hope buzz gets better.
Nathan said at 11:45 AM 02-08-2002:
I have two favorite local cuckoo men. Buffington Meyer frequents art openings and loves to tell jokes (What did the ocean say to the shore? Nothing, it just waved) which wouldn't be funny but suddenly they are, because the guy telling them is so crazy. The other guy is named Joe, and he lives in this less ambitious Howard Finster style lot near Baton Rouge HS. Supposedly he was an important local artist and he lost it or something. He paints people and animals all over everyting he can find and then costructs temporary houses out of these things. He did a strange, "Happy Mother's Day" mural on the side of a gas station near BRHS. I used to hang out with him after school. The next time I start a band, I'm going to commission him to make the flyers.
[Reply To this] [#25312] [ip: logged]
    Andrew said at 8:43 PM 02-08-2002:
    Buff Meyer is weird. He used to live across the street from great grandmother and come over all the time. The last time I saw him was at a flute concert and there were about six people in the audience. he sat right in front of me and he was reading a newspaper that was soaking wet. After the show he pointed out all the errors in the program to me.
    [Reply To this] [#25335] [ip: logged]
Seth [ url ]
said at 9:58 PM 02-10-2002:
he isn't dying in the hospital is he?
I want to meet that piece of human before he decides to leave. I want to call his fortune: a ring of sodium carbonide sits around the earth in orbit. They ancored a string to the earth somewhere at the bottom of the gulf of mexico. Nobody knows about it yet because light bends around the carbon ring and it doesn't pass through the trajectories of any nations space programs. From the string, we can effectively send stuff into space quite easily, using the basis of capillary action - the molecules provide a force up because of a great amount of surface area and the force of the surface on the molecules is greater than the force of the molecules on themselves.

He got paid because he was a bum in the gulf of mexico that went from boat to boat and smelled so bad that they gave him his own ship and told him to stay in a certain area of the gulf.. nobody else goes there because they'll have to smell him.. thus the name stinkfish. The government bought his share of the gulf based upon the rule that he live within washington dc. He's in the hospital because they periodically take samples of his body to recreate the smell in the gulf that wards off all the other boats.

Stinkfish, you rock. Don't die before I come to dc!
[Reply To this] [#25383] [ip: logged]


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