It's colder INSIDE than outside.
Last night, my girlfriend's cat wiped its ass on the carpet. It just stuck its ass down and dragged itself across the apartment with its front paws. It was the funniest thing I've ever seen. And another example I had to prove to her that the fucking animal was never disciplined. She actually grabbed the cat and wiped its ass. Incredible. I recommend declawing the cat and makling it an outside cat.
Christ, I saw a reporter on the news who's in Afganistan who was getting shot at. What's he doing there and what's the point? Pathetic, ragged mothertfuckers with AK's? The story? FUCK! THEY'RE SHOOTING AT ME! I''M THE ONLY JOURNALIST EVER TO ARRIVE HERE! YIPEE! Man, we have some real dumbasses in this country. Oh yeah...the point is to show off those goddamn videophones. Get your ass killed for a ratings stunt.
Last night I watched 'Creature Comforts.' It was short but really fun to watch. Nick Park rocks. I liked the cheetah character from Brazil. The polar bear family reminded me of my cousins in the UK.
Hollywood has been recruited by the government to suggest scenarios for terrorist activities. Sounds more like Reagan's style. They actually recruited writers from MacGuyver. Hey! Our tax dollars brilliantly spent. It's based from a VR immersion technology. There was a screenwriting program behind it, which was written by an ex-Navy Seal who teaches screenwriting at LSU. But I think if the Gubment has to hire writers who normally get high to do a better job than straight laced squares like the CIA and FBI (the 'highly skilled PROFESSIONALS'), it's poetic justice against their fucking ridiculously restrictive screening processes.
Darryl the Skrotom [ url ] said at 10:50 AM 10-10-2001: First, let me begin by saying I hate Christians. Next, I'm looking for Quiche, aka Edgar B. He was a classmate of mine at LSU SLIS. I hear now he lives in New York. I also hear he posts here. Let me finish by saying that I'd like to defecate in George W. Bush's mouth.
Craig said at 11:28 AM 10-10-2001: Af far as Kiche, goes, he is our "guest". We normally restrict his movement and activities, but, in light of recent events, we have lifted all curbs on his activities.
kiche [email] said at 9:42 PM 10-10-2001: first i would just like to say that i am not responsible for anything for which i have been accused. i would then like to say that while i have tried to contact darryl i have not actually contacted him yet so i could not have possibly invited him to new york for a peace keeping mission or otherwise.
Milky said at 1:53 PM 10-10-2001: No, see that's the thing. It's from the 70s Toei series in Japan. That series had Spider Man as sn alien. It's infinitely cooler than anything Hollywood will put out. I only got to see clips of it though. Stan Lee said it was a really neat series.
Darryl said at 11:25 AM 10-10-2001: Let me begin by using the word "nigger" completely out of any context so as to alienate any intelligent person who might read this. Then, let me continue by saying that I understand how this website works now. Next, let me ask how I might join in your fun, provided no one is too upset by this, the next racial epithet I use: Sandcoon. Finally, let me just say that I have seen "Dolemite" so many times that I often dream I am part of the cast.
Darryl [ url ] said at 4:19 PM 10-10-2001: First, let me say that, yes, all my posts will be structured like this. Next, the union drive is looking up as Trico has been pressured into taking a hands-off approach towards OMU organizing after NOPEF (the Norwegian maritime union that mans Trico's boats in the North Sea) threatened to boycott all Trico vessels unless they laid off the union. Of course, the anti-union idiots are blindly attacking everyone involved, including me, but they are looking worse and worse as we moles who have no monetary or professional connections to either side continue to point out how fuckin' stupid the anti-union arguments are. So I'd say things are looking somewhat better for us pinkos. Finally, just let me say that the local boat companies are all owned by bitter closet homosexuals who jerk off with Men's Health magazine.
Darryl [ url ] said at 5:25 PM 10-10-2001: Let me first ask if you're talking to me. Then, let me ask: "What words?" Finally, let me say that Freddie Mercury was a vocal genius.
Darryl the Skrotom said at 11:33 AM 10-10-2001: First, let me ask if you are talking to me. Then, let me say "No, I do not know Neill." Finally, let me zip my pants.
milky said at 9:25 PM 10-10-2001: He's only worked on C-grade movies. His most important work was script scenarios for the military. That's probably the only place you'll see his name on the net.
jeni [email] said at 12:51 PM 10-10-2001: cat ass-wiping behaviour is almost always in response to an infestation of internal parasites, usually tapeworm. cats pick up tapeworms from fleas: grooming cat inadvertantly ingests a flea carrying a tapeworm cyst, cyst hatches and matures into an adult tapeworm, adult tapeworm produces egg-bearing segments, which travel out of the cat intestines. the egg segments are capable of movement, which makes the cat's ass itch--hence the butt-rubbing action on the carpeting.
take cat to the vet for deworming and flea control medication.
on screen ass-wiping behaviour by reporters is almost always in response to the desire for higher ratings. there is no cure.
jeni said at 5:12 PM 10-10-2001: the fight against tapeworms is a lot like the war on drugs, or now, the war on terrorism. there isnt necessarily an end to it: the cat could have been reinfected with a tapeworm within days of being treated for worms: the treatment kills the current infestation, it does nothing toward preventing future infestations. the only way to prevent tapeworm infestation is to break the tapeworm's life cycle by eliminating all fleas in the cat's environment.
cat-ass-dragging is the cat's reaction to an itchy ass--despite their flexibility, they cant exactly hike around and scratch back there with their paws. in addition to parasites, itchy cat asses are also caused by straining to pass dry stool (treatment is application of vaseline to the cat's anus, and modification of the cat's diet: bland foods, smaller portions served more frequently, ample supply of water. household tip: dont let the cat sit on the sofa after you apply the vaseline)
another cause is impaction or infection of the cat's anal sacs. these are two scent glands that are visible on either side of the cat's anus at roughly 4 and 8 o'clock. when your cat rubs against your leg with its butt, it is marking you from these scent glands. the sacs usually are trouble-free, but some cats are prone to problems with them. if you really want, i'll give you the instructions on how to manually express these sacs, but fair warning: its not a job for the easily grossed out, the stuff that comes out is best described as cat piss cheese.
milky said at 3:17 AM 10-11-2001: Jeni, thanks for all of the information. I'm not mad at the cat and I don't blame it anymore. I'm just worried about it, so me and my girlfriend have been watching her closely. We have to move at the beginning of January and we want to take care of as much as possible in regards to her kitty, Karma, so the move doesn't upset her as much.
jeni [email] said at 8:22 PM 10-11-2001: i do commercial art & design, mostly. right now i'm not doing much of anything.
the cat vet stuff and all other related trivia comes about because i get bored and read random books and the stuff sticks in my head whether i want it or not. in this case 'the cat owner's home veterinary handbook' by carlson and griffin (i think. might have been 'giffin')
i dont even especially like cats that much but the book just seemed like the logical thing to read after reading 'the dog owner's home vet handbook' and the info came in handy with some friends' cat (the previously alluded to cheese whiz cat)
Melody said at 2:59 PM 10-10-2001: Hey, Darryl!!! How are things going with you? I heard from a very reliable source y'all are going to have another mouth to feed soon. Congratulations!!!!
Darryl [ url ] said at 4:26 PM 10-10-2001: First, let me say that I don't know a Melody, so I have no idea to whom I am responding. But, yes, my wife is currently with child, as my sperm are highly motile and very persistent. Also, my genetic material does not seem to have been affected by years of hallucinogenic use, contrary to what the NIH and NIMH say. Also, Liz is very fertile, being a plus-size woman of Germanic descent. We will be fine parents and not at all emotionally distant as our parents were.
Let me conclude by saying that sometimes, when I'm walking far from a convenient restroom and Isuddenly must take a dump, I stand perfectly still and clench my gluteal muscles until teh urge passes. Thank you.
Missy said at 5:20 AM 10-12-2001: Hey, I'm new, so be gentle.
Those reporters really irritate me, too. See, a couple of my friends were in the company of marines who killed those British journalists at the beginning of the Gulf War. And they felt terrible about it. But they were also really pissed off about it. Those reporters knew damn well where the shooting was going to start and they went and hid so they could have good view. They got a view all right. And then those guys had to go in there and find them. They had to go pick up dead reporters--one of whom was a woman--that they had just shot. Yeah, there's your story.
Missy said at 5:22 AM 10-12-2001: Hey, I'm new, so be gentle.
Those reporters really irritate me, too. See, a couple of my friends were in the company of marines who killed those British journalists at the beginning of the Gulf War. And they felt terrible about it. But they were also really pissed off about it. Those reporters knew damn well where the shooting was going to start and they went and hid so they could have good view. They got a view all right. And then those guys had to go in there and find them. They had to go pick up dead reporters--one of whom was a woman--that they had just shot. Yeah, there's your story.
anon. said at 2:35 PM 10-12-2001: No, they didn't know the reporters were there. The reporters had been told to leave the area. So, being the good reporters that they were, instead of leaving when being told, "we're going to start shooting here," they hid, and got shot accidently.
