Part of my job as a bar back is to make infused vodkas. Last night, I was cutting up red peppers to make Stoli pepper vodka. When I got home from work, my eyes were achy, so I took my contacts out before I went to sleep. Mind you, I washed my hands before taking my contacts out, cleaning them, and putting them in solution for overnight storage. After I awoke this morning, I washed my hands yet again before putting my contacts back into my eyes. But I guess these were no ordinary red peppers. After I put one of the contacts into my eyes, YOWZA, RED PEPPER SURPRISE! So I quickly took it out, disposed of the contacts, washed my hands yet again, and opened a fresh pair of contacts to put in my eyes. After I popped the first one into my eye, RED PEPPER ATTACK! I realized there still must be traces of the red pepper oils on my fingers that only time would expell, and that the only thing to do was grin and bear it (only I was grimmacing, not grinning). So there I was, bent over the bathroom sink, eyes pressed shut, and squirming. The pain! The pain!
mary said at 5:52 PM 10-08-2001: Vanilla is my favorite. Mix it with coke, and sit in a hot tub with brandon, chad and katie for 8 hours. That's way more fun that putting it in your eye.
Brad said at 6:46 PM 10-08-2001: I think everyone has experienced what it's like after too many jalopenos exit your body. The first time that happened, I imagined a miniature Indian kneeling underneath my ass with a bow and spindle.
*carla* [ url ] said at 9:40 PM 10-08-2001: My god that must have been terrible.
It's bad enough getting an eyelash in there or a speck of dirt or something.
Aye Aye! I shudder to think!
caleb said at 9:45 PM 10-08-2001: one time i was visiting my grandma when she decided to put her contacts in. she grabed the can of cleaning solution and sprayed, only to watch her contact lens shrivel into nothingness. turns out instead of cleaning solution she absentmindedly grabed the aquanet instead.
Neil said at 1:37 AM 10-09-2001: I remember my friend mike, pulled a fast one on me, and gave me a habenero pepper instead of a jalepeno. I felt like I had swallowed battery acid.
I also remember a few years later, Teddy gave me some sauce called, "The Scorned Lady," sauce, which was the hottest sauce I have ever had; I almost threw up. Teddy was like, "Pussy!," then I challenged him to try some of his own sauce on a hot dog. Well, two seconds after he tried it, he was in the bathroom puking, BLLLLEAAAACHHHHH! :)
jeni [email] said at 12:57 PM 10-09-2001: i like them, dave's ultimate insanity sauce is my favorite.
if one eats enough hot peppers on a regular basis, one builds up a tolerance to the heat, thus requiring the consumption of ever more hot varieties of peppers to get the same effect. at this point, tabasco tastes like plain vinegar to me.
an unfortunate side effect is being unable to accurately judge if you've over-hot pepper seasoned a dish while cooking. the usual clue for me is noticing my dinner guests frantically mopping their brows with their napkins while eating.
Arnie said at 2:12 PM 10-10-2001: I'm talking about those sauces that are extremely hot and bitter. They are just painful and awful tasting. I have a bit of an immunity and like hot food, but those sauces are horrid. Never had dave's though.
When I lived in Arizona, I remember this guy I'd randomly see eating Jalapeno peppers like candy.
Milky said at 2:29 PM 10-09-2001: I've never seen anyone use or actually like those novelty sauces. Just Tabasco or a generic Louisiana hot sauce. BTW--I sent this response twice but Nutscrape sux.
alan said at 3:15 PM 09-27-2003: I've been trying to find some "scorned lady hot sauce" but haven't been able to. could you send me the address on your bottle if you still have it, so i can write to them? sure would appreciate it.
brandon [email] said at 3:33 PM 09-27-2003: You're in luck. I have a bottle with me. It's made by Oak Hill Farms. Part of the Halifax group, Inc.
Atlanta, Georgia 30340. I have no idea why there's no street address.
Or you can skip that BS and go straight to the website
Daisy said at 2:12 AM 10-09-2001: I so feel you! I've been having painful eye problems for months now. I am no longer allowed to wear contacts. I think I need new eyes, particularly the left one. Can any one hook me up? I'm not picky, they dont have to match.
Emmaleigh said at 1:00 PM 10-13-2001: Bowie's eyes are the same color. One is just paralized so it is always dilated so they look like different colors.
LettusB said at 12:36 PM 10-09-2001: I actually yearn for this feeling brad.
" think everyone has experienced what it's like after too many jalopenos exit your body"
btw have you made out with Stephan's new wife yet?
Do you have IM Brad? If so email how to contact your ass.
