"We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far." - HP Lovecraft, the Call of Cthulhu
well, the summer movie blitz is upon us. i have been thinking of the blatant historical inaccuracies in pearl harbor and the arena rock sound track as well 20th century action film dialogue in a knight's tale (don't forget the soundtrack to moulin rouge!!!). i think these films are innovative for taking these bold risks.
i would like to see them take this and make a more interesting movie about d-day. i mean, d-day needs to be updated a little. i don't know if you're like me, but whenever i'm watching an historical ww2 epic i'm thinking what this movie really needs are flesh eating zombies and speed metal. imagine a movie about d-day that opens up right off with a hard rock song, like something from rob zombie or limp bizkit about d-day. and as the movie opens to this song the invasion of normandy is occuring, and american troops are getting killed all over the place. now as anyone who watches as much cinema as i have knows, the nazis were in league with satan. so while d-day is going down, the camera could cut to adolph hitler, jospeh mengele and the gang dressed up in satanic robes with swastikas and ss lightening bolts on them. hitler and pals wind up raising the dead american g.i.s to the horror of the still living americans who must now fight their zombie former comrads in addition to the nazi occupational force. this entire movie could end up with our intrepid heroes in a battle tour de force of the magic of dark forces versus man and machinery in berlin against the satanic nazi forces climaxing when hitler, power mad, draws in so much dark energy he explodes in a sensational marvel of computer graphics.
sacrilege, schmacrilege...
as hollywood and everyone else knows movies aren't about accuracy, historical or otherwise; they're about rocking out. does anyone else out there have any other ideas for historical movies that we could update for our more enlightened, way cooler and more rocking times?
dave said at 7:10 PM 05-30-2001: i think 'the diary of ann(e) frank' should be updated. after a few weeks in the attic, the family would start eating each other. or they could snatch unsuspecting nazi soldier and eat him. as soon as the cannibalism kicks in, so does the Deicide. final scene would be a nazi finding the family, who all start laughing madly, when the nazi sees that they're sitting down to a bowl of brain soup w/eyeballs. i'd throw in a bloodhag song or two... 'phillip k. dick!!!'
Lynnr said at 5:36 PM 06-01-2001: kiche, I, too, have noticed those little histotical fugdes in aforementioned summer movies. The minute I saw the trailer for "Knight's Tale" I had this vision of all the Ren Fair-goers and Society for Creative Anachronism-members I had ever known and outgrown grabbing up their floor-length, layered skirts, pressing their crown of faux flowers to their heads and huffing it for the theatre with their black T-shirt-wearin', death-metal-listenin' boyfriends.
I think they should make yet another movie about Spartacus, only in the newly restored "homo-erotic" bath scene, Spartacus should be about to take up the Roman on his offer when a vision of Jesus appears and tells him it is wrong. Spartacus will reply "Uh, who's Jesus?" and proceed to get it on with the Roman, until the point of his climax, at which time Jesus shall burst down from the sky in an exploding rain of fire and smote the entire Roman empire (in a series of artfully specially-affected scenes, of course) until Spartacus is left kneeling, alone and in his birthday suit, to cry out his anguish for the day he scoffed at the disembodied voice of some Jesus guy!
