Hello. This is Ben with another installment of the stupidity and bad ideas for everyone show. Today I was on the Metro. A lady sat next to me and pulled out a book. It had no jacket, but instead was covered in aluminum foil. "weird," i thought, "this lady must have a problem with accidently microwaving her books." or maybe she puts them in the oven before she leaves the house so that they will stay nice and warm during her ride to work. or maybe she thinks it will keep the elves from fucking on them at night...

got me? i went and got the number of the place selling the castle today. hopefully i can talk them into renting it to me. then i can respond to everyone's rude comments by simply saying "fuck you, dude. i live in a castle."

here are some ideas i've been wanting to do for a while, but never remember to do them:

1) I made some headshots of myself when I was in photography classes. I've been wanting to take them and autograph them and send them to celebrities along with stupid notes that say things like "good luck with your new film" and "great party last week. boy were you drunk..." with the idea that they wouldn't know who the hell I was and get really confused. People do odd things when you confuse them. Who knows what will happen... I want to do it to people like Conan OBrien...

2) Ever since I got my checks made, I've been wanting to send them to people for ridiculous amounts (like 37 cents). I'm about to send one to Yvonne. I have like 500 of them. It's not like I'll ever use them all. I want to send them to some famous people as insults. In the memo blank they will say things like "To: James Hetfield...7 cents...For: the thought of you never putting out another shitty album again" or "To: Actor dude...9 cents...For: your shitty performance in that movie you were in" or "To: Tony Danza... 18 cents....For: being the Boss" or "To: Joe from Facts of Life.... $3.79...For: the grooming costs on your extravagent mullet."

Maybe I'll do them and put them in the zine I will be working on...

I've started working on the cartoon also. I'm throwing away ideas left and right. Hopefully I will settle on something soon. I've got a set of retarded looking characters I want to use, I'm just kinda hating the stories I've come up with. I've also got another project planned with these guys i work with. The idea is to shoot a History Channel style documentary on a made up war that happened between two sets of little green army men... complete with interviews, bad dead guy music, heroes, and shitty films of the war.... I'm not sure if I like that idea that much though either...

Am about to get the contract for the summer job. Will be in California teaching from June 15th til September 1st. Hopefully Josh will be there too....