I was at my sister's piano lesson and her teacher said, "here's a way to remember what retardando means...retarded people are slow, so when you see retardando, remember to slow it down."
with that said...
Here is my impersonation of ben at age 70 "i was on the metro and this totally weird thing happened. it was so weird, i had to make a mini comic about it even though the comic has nothing to do with what happened to me when i was on the metro. that's how weird it is. man, i totally met the coolest comic artist the other day. he's got like all my comics now and wants to lick ink off my naked body. isn't that weird."
Here is my impersonation of brad "whee, joy, i am so happy ever since i got into acting. it's sheer bliss, i just love playing different roles...it's like i'm telling a story. i love my acting partners. after a hard day at the theatre, we like to wind down and go shopping"
Here is my impersonation of evan "yo, you want to see the naked pictures i took of people who don't have any clothes on...it's rad. everything is rad. my bike is rad. my beard is especially rad."
Here is taylor "sniff...it's so hard to make words with this keyboard. damn keys, why can't they be in alphabetical order? stupid technology, ruining the value of a good record"
here is rick "a couple of things: "shit shit shit shit yoga"
here is josh "i am the ruler of killoggs. with my trusty computer at my side, we shall run the online social ring...geez, jeff, you bent my magic card!"
here is arnie at lenscrafters "do these glasses make me look nerdy or hip?"
here is evan again "RAD"
here is every killogg member that i don't know "d;alkjdflakdjf;laksddalkjdad"
this is every idiot who reads killoggs "i've been reading killoggs every day now and i still have no idea what this site is about. it is just the most bizarre thing ever! i mean, it about all these different things but at the same time, it's not about anything! is this jerry seinfeld's homepage? this is driving me crazy. it's sooo weird. actually, this might be the xfiles homepage! who are these cartoon like people? and why are they talking about the things they're talking about? it's sheer genius! brilliant! ahh, i have to jerk off now"
Rick Jagger said at 5:07 PM 04-14-2001: Ha, ha . . . Yvonne is soooo awesome. & I thought I was the only one who like Journey . . . is that Journey she's quoting . . . I think it is. I like REO Speedwagon, 98 º, Josie & The Pussycats, all that shit . . .
Jeff said at 5:24 PM 04-14-2001: That Rod Stewart song that goes "Who else is gonna bring you...a broken arrow?" keeps haunting my mind. After reading this post, it once again tortures me.
Hard Rick Café said at 5:46 PM 04-14-2001: I think that is actually a Cars song. Who's gonna drive you home . . . " Yup, definitely the Cars . . . or was it the Corrs?
eve said at 3:14 PM 04-15-2001: arnie, if you're gonna insult me you'll have to write in a bigger font seeing as how i can't read the tiny text with my slanted eyes
Arnie said at 7:07 PM 04-15-2001: You should get that eyelid surgery they offer, you would be able to see better, plus you would fit in with us white wonders.
Nathan d. koenig said at 1:13 AM 04-16-2001: That's pretty gross Rick, but the idea of dying in someone's arms is pretty gross as well, Yvonne. Imagine if eveyone that you tried to hug died because you just didn't know your own strength. That would be the downside to being an awesome hunk, the kind that sneaky Brad is probably turning into on the California coast, that smoothie drinking wild man. But maybe Yvonne means that she died in our arms in a hospice with the Smiths playing in the back ground. Mike the tiger then says, "I feel FUCKed over, becuase I could hug Yvonne, because I am hunk." Rick mishears this, and it's another one for the rumor mill.
Ricko Pervert said at 11:53 AM 04-16-2001: Yeah, Heather called attention to the unseemly nature of that quip earlier. Hmmmm . . . it IS distasteful but then again I thought it would fit right into Killoggs given our scatological content. Sorry, Yvonne, I like bathroom invectives & lockerroom trash-talk much too much. I am no better than Eminem.
Rick Springfield said at 3:43 PM 04-16-2001: "Just a small-town girl, livin' in a lonely world . . . she took the midnight train going' anywhere . . ."
Mane said at 8:40 PM 04-15-2004: This is cool, because I have been reading Killoggs every day now and I still really don't have any idea what the site is about; it really is just the most bizarre thing ever!
ok, so I do kind of know that the site is about everything that goes on inside those wierd cartoony heads of yours, and it IS sheer genius! brilliant!
