i know it is only the beginning of february, but already i'm annoyed by the barrage of red and pink themed catalogs and window displays. i should preface this with the fact that at my request, my gentleman companion & i don't do the saccharine valentine's day dance. i'd prefer someone be romantic of their own volition instead of hallmark's. preprinted cards, and candy, and jewelry, and lingerie with crappy red & black lace, usually seem so impersonal and unimaginative.
so i started thinking about gifts i'd like to get. ones that would seems especially thoughtful to me.
the first thing i thought of, instead of boxes of chocolates, stock my cupboard with boxes of tampons, like a year supply. i never seem to have one when i need one, and it is always the coldest darkest rainiest nights. or the mornings before work when i'm already late and have an important meeting. so i hunt through pants pockets and sock drawers and the bottoms of purses looking for the one remaining crushed and partially unwrapped one. or i'm left dragging out to the only store left open which, of course, doesn't carry my prefered brand. or i have to improvise with other household implements. which is never pretty. show me you love me every 28 days, don't buy me roses, buy me tampons.
i'm a hopeless romantic, i know. just like prince charles and camilla.
rick [email] said at 9:53 PM 02-03-2005: No, it's cool. I hate Valentine's Day too and perhaps one day I shall lead a barbarian horde against some marketing robber baron's stronghold and put it to the sword.
rick [email] said at 9:58 PM 02-03-2005: Pretty much any gift that one gives to whichever person one is with at the time that does not bring about the feeling that person is the who one wants to be with, falls short.
So whatever it takes to get that point across, whether it be a bouquet of roses or a lump of pig iron.
ed [email] said at 12:55 PM 02-04-2005: I never was a big fan of Valentine's Day. It always seemed a little too forced. Now I'm even less a fan. Thankfully, most people (even co-workers that I was surpised by the fact that they knew) know this, and don't go all over the top wishing me a happy VD.
abby [email] said at 10:41 PM 02-03-2005: i don't remember the origin of valentine's day or saint valentine, but doesn't it involve some amazing tale of gay love in ancient militaries? someone please inform me or wait while i google that shit.
woody [email] said at 12:42 PM 02-04-2005: Yeah, Shelly. Because if there's something a guy enjoys more than buying tampons, it has to be walking up to the till with a grocery cart overflowing with boxes of them...
I guess it would be a good test of his love though.
ed [email] said at 1:01 PM 02-04-2005: I was never bothered by it. A man buying a box of tampons is obviously not going to be using them himself, so he must be buying them for someone he loves. Same for any 'feminine product'. I don't see the problem.
Now, if she's hot 'roids, she's gonna have to pick up her OWN Anusol.
